The Great Un-Escape

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by PK, Mar 26, 2005.

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  1. PK

    PK Old-Salt

    I thought that digging tunnels out of prison camps went out of fashion after WWII but it seems that the Iraqies are at it now :roll:

    Enemy prisoners thay may be but you've gotta hand it to them - 10/10 for effort :lol:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/4384367.stm
     
  2. Whose bright idea was it to show The Great Escape as a special treat then?
     
  3. PK

    PK Old-Salt

  4. "morning Sayid, little present from Hamid"
     
  5. "Zer vill be no ezcapes from zis kamp!"
     
  6. If they suddenly a) Start using an unfeasable amount of bog-roll and b) ask if they can have balsa wood for a "modeling club" then it might be an idea to set up a couple of AA guns nearby.
     
  7. And you can probably start to worry if inmate eyesight goes downhill as well. It might not be the obvious cause....especially if said inmates are claiming that they can see, they can see perfectly....
     
  8. Good effort though

    How many tunnels did they find?

    And who is Big X?
     
  9. My top tip would be to keep an eye on the bloke with a goat skin glove who is rather partial to chucking a lambs head repeatedly against a wall.

    Check up on any prisoner who walks around the exercise yard shuffling their feet, depositing earth that is out of the ordinary or of a differing colour.

    Any former miners in the camp should not be allowed to own a spoon.

    The American guards should routinley pour coffee or other such hot beverages down unlikely heaters or cooking utencils.

    Check the beds of the inmates for missing boards every day.

    Do not allow weak or potentially influencial types to become 'chief goon'.

    In the event of an air raid, dont switch your search lights off.

    Place you patrols more than 300 yards outside the perimeter fence (the further you place them, the longer the prisoners need to dig).

    When doing P checks in the local town, occasionaly throw in the odd 'good luck' in a non Arabic language.

    Look out for young males who are not wearing a military uniform but are wearing a dyed orange boiler suit to look like a Demob suit with matching trilby and 37 pattern back pack made to look like a 'briefcase'.

    Take a photo of all your inmates, circulate these pictures prior to any breakout. Search your guards prior to them going on duty not to take cameras into the prison (two fold benifits. 1. Prisoners cant bribe the goons. 2. No phots of prisoner abuse will make their way to NBC/BBC).

    Brief all members of the military to be on the look out for passes and 'official' documents that appear to have been made from potatoes or loo roll.

    I am by no means an expert when it comes to prisoner handling but I feel the above points may come in handy.
     
  10. Couple of refinements there:

    1) If the floorboards sound hollow when you tread on them, get a couple of dozen guards in and rip the floor up then and there.

    2) Ban potatoes.

    3) Count the utensils after every meal.
     
  11. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    So instead of Tom, Dick and Harry will they be calling them Mohamed, Mustapha and Achmed?

    Got to admire the resourcefulness of the effort though.
     
  12. It's Dick and Harry we need to worry about now. :)

    Edited. Damn you Ord!
     
  13. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Great minds obviously think alike. :D
     
  14. "Ten days isolation, Abdul."

    "Captain Abdul."

    "Twenty days"

    Is the token American prisoner going to jump the Iranian border on a camel? Was talking this over with some of the lads at work today, thought it would make a great spoof movie