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The Great Escape

NSP

LE
No, not the movie (it's that time of year, after all) but your amusing ideas to get off this bloody ship (obviously, tunnelling is out).

Client said four week rotations, a lot of us accepted the job on the basis that we'd be home again four weeks later. The day after we sailed, client said, "No crew changes until middle of January. We're chomping at the bit to get off and there's talk of jumping ship when they go in to change out the ship's crew on their four-week rotation later this week.

Do me proud but more importantly make me laugh in a pant-wetting manner, chaps and chapesses. I fuckin' need it...!
 

dlrg

LE
Give these a bell...

1607333912637.png


And ask for this


1607333974767.png
 
Approach the ships carpenter,( Can you see what it is yet?).. and bribed with some hooch, porn, and Caribbean woodbine's, get him to knock up an escape pod, furnish with food water and booze. Then At silly O'Clock in the morning..........

Alternately, can you swim.......?
 

Tyk

LE
What does the contract say or is it silent on the rotation period?

Alternatively there's always limpet mines, you've some experience of the lifeboats I believe :D
 
Have you ever seen Mutiny on the Bounty? Well don't do what Mr Christian does and let the captain go. Throw him over board and blame it on the Somalians. When you and the remaining crew get back to port you'll all be bally heroes ;)
 

Rab_C

LE
No, not the movie (it's that time of year, after all) but your amusing ideas to get off this bloody ship (obviously, tunnelling is out).

Client said four week rotations, a lot of us accepted the job on the basis that we'd be home again four weeks later. The day after we sailed, client said, "No crew changes until middle of January. We're chomping at the bit to get off and there's talk of jumping ship when they go in to change out the ship's crew on their four-week rotation later this week.

Do me proud but more importantly make me laugh in a pant-wetting manner, chaps and chapesses. I fuckin' need it...!
So who lied, the client or more likely the survey contractor? Nothing stopping you walking off at the next port call if you feel that way. If it was the client that lied then the survey company need to grow a set and tell the client NO.
Oh this is the NAAFI, man the fuck up and do your job.
 
I giggled a little when I saw that you'd fallen for the old "four week rotation" trick.

My son left at the weekend for a four month rotation.
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
No, not the movie (it's that time of year, after all) but your amusing ideas to get off this bloody ship (obviously, tunnelling is out).

Client said four week rotations, a lot of us accepted the job on the basis that we'd be home again four weeks later. The day after we sailed, client said, "No crew changes until middle of January. We're chomping at the bit to get off and there's talk of jumping ship when they go in to change out the ship's crew on their four-week rotation later this week.

Do me proud but more importantly make me laugh in a pant-wetting manner, chaps and chapesses. I fuckin' need it...!
I believe I can see a "Marie Celeste" scenario in the immediate future. :lol:
 

RTU'd

War Hero
Call the coastguards and ask when fat freddy is collecting the merchandise & magazines/films as you have watched most of them & run out of kleenex but all are high as the Moroccan woodbines are a Turkish delight.
Sure way to get off the boat before xmas, by the way this is your idea & nothing to do with me or arrse.
 
In a reversal of the normal turn of events, you could bribe the port authority to impound the vessel. Then leg it.
 
No, not the movie (it's that time of year, after all) but your amusing ideas to get off this bloody ship (obviously, tunnelling is out).

Client said four week rotations, a lot of us accepted the job on the basis that we'd be home again four weeks later. The day after we sailed, client said, "No crew changes until middle of January. We're chomping at the bit to get off and there's talk of jumping ship when they go in to change out the ship's crew on their four-week rotation later this week.

Do me proud but more importantly make me laugh in a pant-wetting manner, chaps and chapesses. I fuckin' need it...!

You may actually be having more fun and less seclusion than many people ashore.
And if you are not on triple-time by this stage, someone has screwed up the Contracts.

So, back to the Rum, bum and baccy with the rest of the whinging Sodomites.
 

Teeblerone

War Hero
First, procure a mountain-style bicycle or rugged motor vehicle and a 300'* garden hose.
Drop the hose over the side - you'll need to secure it firmly to the deck or a rail (maybe the first aid kit has some elastoplast strip?).
Suck like a naughty lady.
Start siphoning the sea into a spare locker or cargo space.**
When it's nearly all gone. shimmy down the hose with your vehicle & make for shore.

Hope this helps.

*your surveying expertise might indicate a longer hose is needed
** if these get full, hang the hose over the other side of the ship
 

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