The Great ARRSE Outage 2018

#1
The horror. The horror.

You unutterable bastards. No ARRSE for two days. Surely a violation of my human rights.

Not so much in the removal but in the substitution.

I have had to do stuff, read books, go for a walk, clean up, cook and, worst of all, put up with the sheer unmitigated hell of talking to the missus. All that time I could have been sat on my arse drinking coffee and reading the puerile knobbery that passes for posts.

I even fed the feckin cat. Twice.
 
#3
I even got around to doing my dhobi.

5482.jpg
 
#4
I just thought Bugsy had lied once too often and the entire Internet had imploded
nope, he told the truth and the internet imploded


edited to add - we were lucky it was only the internet
 
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#5
Just to let you all know what happened.

ARRSE runs on two servers; one that has the website and the other the database. These are located in a facility in Germany that experienced a major power issue on Thursday morning at approx 1100 hrs. It would appear this knocked out the hardware they have for protecting against such events!

Over the intervening 48 hrs the company has been slowly restoring the thousands of servers they host and bringing them back online. One of these is ours which has now obviously been done.

Unfortunately the sudden crash also corrupted our database which has meant that we've had to restore a previous version. This means that approximated 7-8 hrs of posts have been lost between 0300 and 1100 on Thurs 24 May.

Sorry but its nice to see you all back again

Obviously this has all been down to GCO's hard work.
 
#6
The horror. The horror.

You unutterable bastards. No ARRSE for two days. Surely a violation of my human rights.

Not so much in the removal but in the substitution.

I have had to do stuff, read books, go for a walk, clean up, cook and, worst of all, put up with the sheer unmitigated hell of talking to the missus. All that time I could have been sat on my arse drinking coffee and reading the puerile knobbery that passes for posts.

I even fed the feckin cat. Twice.
It gave us a rest from you though.

Back to the grind.
 
#7
Huzzah ... Huzzah ... Huzzah ... the heart of ARRSE beats again ... and to prevent a reoccurrence of what really happened ... all that is required is ...


2018 2 Bob WS.jpg



A nice shiny two bob bit taped to the side of the Data Centre Coin Prepayment Electricity Meter ... and never again will they suffer the embarrassment of not having a coin to hand when the lights dim and the Servers start to totally shut down requiring a major reboot to come back on line again .

Then again the power supply arrangements might be a little higher tech in which case I blame a hacking attack on the Data Centre Smart Meter ... the shape of things to come ... mark my words .

Then again ... again ... finally ... did a new contract cleaner pull the main supply lead out so that she could plug her vacuum in ?

Thanks to all who worked to enable ARRSE to rise like Phoenix from this incident .
 
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#9
Please feel free to have a look around and spot if anything doesn't work (we know about search).
 
#10
I was so bored I picked up Ship Finder and watched a ship out of Gloucester Docks travel down the Bristol Channel to Barry where it dropped its pilot. The pilot boat went back to Barry but apparently kept going inland till it disappeared in a puff of smoke somewhere near Cowbridge!

A bit later on, still bored out of my socks I picked up ADS-B Exchange and watched a C130 out of Brize head North, loop round and return to Brize - all the time showing a heading of 275. Those Rooshians are screwing up the world I tells ya!
 
#11
#12
Huzzah ... Huzzah ... Huzzah ... the heart of ARRSE beats again . and to prevent a reoccurrence surely all that is required is ...


View attachment 335601


A nice shiny two bob bit taped to the side of the Data Centre Coin Prepayment Electricity Meter ... and never again will they suffer the embarrassment of not having a coin to hand when the lights dim and the Servers start to totally shut down requiring a major reboot to come back on line again .

Then again the power supply arrangements might be a little higher tech in which case I blame a hacking attack on the Data Centre Smart Meter ... the shape of things to come ... mark my words .

Then again ... again ... finally ... did a new contract cleaner pull the main supply lead out so that she could plug her vacuum in ?

Thanks to all who worked to enable ARRSE to rise like Phoenix from this incident .
2 bob ! You won lottery or something? Just use a bit of lino like the good ol days
 
#16
I assumed the ARRSE datacentre was in a Manila backstreet, looking something like this:
A1A909A1-7818-4D49-A65E-84DECF313CC9.jpeg


And it imploded due to the millions of terabytes of fit birds, fat birds, MILFs, GILFs, gingers, brunettes, IDF birds and assorted drivel.
 
#17
Denied of my usual website of choice, I branched out into the brave scary world of the 'internet' and discovered many wonderful new websites to peruse and enjoy.

On a totally unrelated note, below is a picture of my new dog, that I've suddenly discovered I need rather urgently...


Ryan_guide-dog.jpg
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
Just to let you all know what happened.

ARRSE runs on two servers; one that has the website and the other the database. These are located in a facility in Germany that experienced a major power issue on Thursday morning at approx 1100 hrs. It would appear this knocked out the hardware they have for protecting against such events!

Over the intervening 48 hrs the company has been slowly restoring the thousands of servers they host and bringing them back online. One of these is ours which has now obviously been done.

Unfortunately the sudden crash also corrupted our database which has meant that we've had to restore a previous version. This means that approximated 7-8 hrs of posts have been lost between 0300 and 1100 on Thurs 24 May.

Sorry but its nice to see you all back again

Obviously this has all been down to GCO's hard work.
So that's what they told you!
It's a hint, blame BREXIT and buy British!
 
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