The Glasgow Wedding.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by dixie-basher, Jul 25, 2013.

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  1. Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.

    "Och, it's all goin' pure briwiant," says Jimmy. "Ar've got everythin' organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night".

    Archie nods approvingly.

    "I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.

    "A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look pure smart in that. What's the tartan?...."

    "Och," says Jimmy, "A'd imagine she'll be in a white dress.”
    • Like Like x 4
  2. CanteenCowboy

    CanteenCowboy LE Book Reviewer

    WTF, has he got a lisp, or even a 'wisp'?
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  4. 'Do you bingo wings take shitty arse to be your husband?'
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  5. You're close enough to Weegieland to speak like one, so probably don't even realise that they don't pronounce the 'l' s in 'brilliant', but strangle the sound that the 'l' s should make, producing a diphthong. It makes them sound like uneducated twats.
  6. Cheeky Fecker!!!!!!!!!!!!
  7. I have lived here from when I was 3 days old now, apart from when I was in, and when I was at university in Paisley and I am 50, and have never heard anyone without a speech defect fail to pronounce the "L"s, maybe you should spend less time with uneducated twats.
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  8. Granted, twenty-odd years ago when pure dead brilliant was something of a catchphrase, the ells were pronounced as ells, but today's young Weegie ned pronounces brilliant as briwyant.
  9. Well they'll be fucked if they try to pronounce Gallus then!
  10. Maist o' they nyaffs widnae ha' heard o' it onywiys.
  11. You will have more fun at a Glasgow Stabbing than an Edinburgh Wedding
  12. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

    One less drunk.
  13. In the 60s, my dad used to work at a butcher's shop in Drumchapel, Glasgow. One day, after being in the walk-in freezer, he stood with his hands behind his back, by the fire to get a warm. A woman walked in, checks out the display, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" she asked.

    My dad replied, "Naw, I'm just giein' my haunds a heat."

    At lunchtime, my dad nipped into the bakers, and asked, "Is that a doughnut or a mereinge?"

    The assistant said, "Naw, ye wiz richt the first time, pal - it's a doughnut."
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