the giveaway signs of a military idiot......

#61
firestarter said:
Those who use the words "Health & Safety" or "Doing it by THE BOOK" (I always make them specify which one (Building MGB using the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" is never a good idea)
ferk... Building MGB was never a good idea 8O
 
#63
The bedding storeman that sees a miniscule boot polish mark on your matress and bills you for the bugger. No sooner have you signed the P1954 than he puts the unit stamp on the stain and it goes back on the shelf to be reissued.

Also, in my line of work (nursing) the chopper that knows the numbers for all of the FMed forms (there are bl00dy hundreds of them) and what they all stand for.
 
#64
Bomb_Doctor said:
I even heard of an Officer whose wife divorced him because when he was mounted and just about to climax, he used to shout "Detail....... Unload!"

Or perhaps that was just a vicious rumour?????
Hmmm...what numpty would trust an rupert to run the range unsupervised? Surely that's what NCOs are for. :lol:

Oh yeah - back to the subject...

One type that grips my sh** is the people who write EVERYTHING in capitals, even though it takes bloody ages. Surely they'll need to learn joined up writing at some point - it might come in useful for resettlement purposes!

PD
 
#65
How about the people who bomb up their vehicles/soldiers for an exercise, fully knowing they're not going to fire all of it...... but then burn/destroy/throw away ALL the packaging. Tw*ts.




.
 
#66
ID disks on leave, and still taped up!. Naff Velcro watch face covers (DPM) Tight arrsed pads with compo in the cupbords
 
#67
The Guy who has a DPM Ciggy lighter! WTF?!

If the colour of your lighter is important enough for you to have it DPM...... then should you really be lighting it up in the first place???????
 
#69
cdo_gunner said:
The bar stewards inspecting vehicles after a service or PRE who insist on recording A jobs that are sorted on the spot.


Zippy
Bet you had your dictionary along with your ruler every time eh? :roll:
There's a difference between writing incomprehensible gibberish and making the odd unintentional mistake. A dictionary doesn't help much if the poor s*ds dyslexic either.
Like I say C_G its about playing the game if you know the RSM is like that you do what you can to limit his impact, said RSM always asked if there was anything the guard commander wanted to add you could bet your arrse if the Gd Comd said no sir he would go over every entry with a fine tooth comb, tell him yes sir the bread in the cookhouse was stale or some such then he was happy

Him a tool for being like that or some of his NCO's for not learning how to play the game take your pick, personnally if the RSM liked people writing along their rulers then write along the ruler it would be.

Zippy483
 
#70
The tw&t who wont deal with my paperwork because he "has another 5 mins of his lunch remaining", when in reality he's just stalling until the other geezer get's in who actually knows what he's doing!
 
#71
primroseandblue said:
The bedding storeman that sees a miniscule boot polish mark on your matress and bills you for the bugger. No sooner have you signed the P1954 than he puts the unit stamp on the stain and it goes back on the shelf to be reissued.

The second you signed the P1954, you should have picked the matress up and thrown it in the skip. Had this exact trick tried on us when we moved camps in the early 90s. Cue large queues of blokes cutting up the matresses they had just been billed for, civvy storeman going mental and getting told to do one in no uncertain terms. F**king civi storemen, law unto themselves.
 
#72
Bomb_Doctor said:
I even heard of an Officer whose wife divorced him because when he was mounted and just about to climax, he used to shout "Detail....... Unload!"
Ho-ho-ho!!!

I know one of my friends, who, having being in for a while before getting domesticated and married, went and got his unit insignia tattooed on both shoulders whilst on det. Normally, quite sad, but the bloke recovered points when his wife asked, "WTF are THEY?!"

... "Ah, well, love, that's so's even when I'm nekkid and nailing you, you can still tell who I am."

I believe that this story, when related, did not take the mother-in-law by surprise... :)
 
#73
Jumped up retired Warrant Officer estate wardens (OK, this is going back a bit) who stride into the kitchen on march-out and immediately remove all the nobs on the cooker to inspect behind.
 
#74
We had an exchange with our yank opposite number unit..... and of course there are the "way we do things round here booooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyy" and all that.... One of these things was do to with tieing things to yourself and your web belt "dummy cord" as they called it with at least 100 foot of para cord per soldier like... not only top pockets full of cord with compasses, pen knifes, lighters, but the ammo pouches and water bottle pouches too (due to the dodgy nature of the metal clips on the back of their web gear) even rifles being tied to the waist even when they had slings on...

You can predict what happened... yours truely made to run arround the forestry block for laughing so hard after we had to cut most of the lead squad out of the bushes they tried to crawl thru, snagging every single bit of string hanging off them and making it look like all the bushes were trying to crawl forward with them...

the other classic was the numpty who dummy corded all his magazines, harry black tape and string at the bottom of the mag, on a short length of para cord tied to the web pouch... our numpty of course forgot to use a long length of string... was so short he could not lay prone and aim his M16 in front of him as his mag was on a 12 inch bit of string.....

we can sleep well in our beds with guys like these defending democracy and all that...
 

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