The GEMS Scheme - The Reality!!

#2
Once, whilst tabbing across Wathgill Trg Area, i suggested that a fortune could be saved on boot rubber by actually putting Soldiers in the back of all the vehicles we spend our working week maintaining.

Pretty similar to yourself, i was told to shut up and stop being a cnut.

Boney
 
#3
good idea about the velcro, but some dump cnut of a sprog would iron and melt it, making it useless. Thus having to exchange his clothing more.
Plus could you imagine being in a orders briefing in a tactical location and everyone going in there pockets for a notebook and the noice that would make!

Still would be a good idea for putting up cam nets though! :wink:
 
#5
i came up with a plan to save the army thousands of pounds in waste paper, instead of all the paperwork for p1954's and ucb and 1033's and such, why not hold all this infomation on a LAN or likewise, i was gonna call it eunuch-om but was told that the army was weel behind on the use of pc's.
 
#6
I know, I wanted to tell them that they needed a web form for submissions, but was so bored by amount of dead tree-ware involved that I couldn't be bothered.

Anyway, the army could save loads of paper by not shooting at Fig11s and then not having to paste over the holes. This also saves substantially on time spent weapon cleaning.

msr
 
#7
One day while sitting in my workshop with no jobs on waiting for BT to show up and fix the phone line i though to myself

"wouldnt it be a good idea if the army trained up some sort of communications engineer to work for them who could do these jobs they were paying BT for."

I tried suggesting this to the regi FofS and had similar feedback as the rest of the thread.
 
#8
Thebull140 said:
One day while sitting in my workshop with no jobs on waiting for BT to show up and fix the phone line i though to myself

"wouldnt it be a good idea if the army trained up some sort of communications engineer to work for them who could do these jobs they were paying BT for."

I tried suggesting this to the regi FofS and had similar feedback as the rest of the thread.
Similar thing myself in the last week bull. Cant sign a project off because an isdn line needs moving. I'll do it myself this afternoon thinks i, aparantly its better to pay a fortune for support who will come out and move it sometime in april.

Boney
 
#9
G3Ops said:
boney_m said:
Thebull140 said:
One day while sitting in my workshop with no jobs on waiting for BT to show up and fix the phone line i though to myself

"wouldnt it be a good idea if the army trained up some sort of communications engineer to work for them who could do these jobs they were paying BT for."

I tried suggesting this to the regi FofS and had similar feedback as the rest of the thread.
Similar thing myself in the last week bull. Cant sign a project off because an isdn line needs moving. I'll do it myself this afternoon thinks i, aparantly its better to pay a fortune for support who will come out and move it sometime in april.

Boney

As I watched another small fortune going down the pan when the civvy electricians were called to change yet another fecking light bulb in the accommodation I postulated with this crazy notion of doing it myself.....after all, when I leave work I do it in my own home - as do the rest of the shagging population.
Ah, but ops you hadnt done the complex maths, databased the results, come up with a figure of what it costs you to change the lightbulb, and what it costs, across the military to contract it out. Of course it would cost more in money, but the time saved by contracting allowed the MOD to cut 2 Batallions from the infrantry.

Next time you feel tempted to change a lightbulb, dont be selfish, change it yourself and save a fireteam. Probably. :wink:

Boney
 
#10
As I watched another small fortune going down the pan when the civvy electricians were called to change yet another fecking light bulb in the accommodation I postulated with this crazy notion of doing it myself

haha thats so true, we can go to war but changing a light bulb is against H&S Regs
 
#11
haha, sorry to go off of the point of this thread but the more i think of it, the more we do.
i had a sodexho supervisor come round last week with a cleaner of the month submission form, i wet myself laughing. they come into me if there are skids around the pan and say " im not cleaning that, its not my job" !! brilliant! and we pay these people!!
 
#12
i am soooooooo upset that it wasnt intentional. if it was i would have done a better JOB!!!! fnar fnar get it get it? hahahahaha
 
#13
Our OC put one in the other day for a device capable of rolling, supporting a weighty load, and with an option for fitting to a sled. Later drawings had a black rubber ring around the "hub" for comfort and reduction in fatigue.

If only I could remember the name of this wonder... :?:

Anyway it was rejected because it had been submitted before....by every other OC...in every other Sqn...

You should see some of the ones that do get through :!:
 
#14
An old armourer once worked out that something like 150,000 man-hours could be freed for something more useful if the Army stopped saluting each other.

Each salute takes up 5 seconds, salute 5 times a day (more for officers who spend a lot of time returning the compliment), multiply by number of people in the Army, days at work etc; you get the idea.

The Adjutant didn't agree with him so here we today, all those wasted man-hours later...
 
#15
Maj_Boothroyd said:
An old armourer once worked out that something like 150,000 man-hours could be freed for something more useful if the Army stopped saluting each other.

Each salute takes up 5 seconds, salute 5 times a day (more for officers who spend a lot of time returning the compliment), multiply by number of people in the Army, days at work etc; you get the idea.

The Adjutant didn't agree with him so here we today, all those wasted man-hours later...
An armourer you say? Counting further than 15? Let alone up to 150,000 man hours? Through mathmatical calculation rather than just repetitive counting? Without using only his fingers?

Maj B. you must think we were born yesterday.

Mine's a large one! :wink:
 
#16
I remember once an email from a senior officer who had his fingers on the stationary purse strings. His idea to save a fortune was to in house manufacture transit envelopes. Aparantly we were going through thousands of them and people were hoarding.

The idea was, when you get an A4 envelope through the post, you carefully open it keeping the flap intact if possible. You then tipex out the address from the front, peel of any stamps and neatly draw boxes onto the front and back using pen and ruler.

I gave myself 5 minutes per envelope to produce them. They are bought in packs of 50 and cost about 4 quid. That means it would take a tad over 4 hours for me to produce a packs worth. On my rate of pay we could have resupped the whole unit. I mentioned the lunacy of the idea to the regie FofS over a pint in the mess, the result of which i was told to order some transit envelopes.

Bloody officers.

Boney
 
#17
Maj_Boothroyd said:
An old armourer once worked out that something like 150,000 man-hours could be freed for something more useful if the Army stopped saluting each other.
But think how much time could be saved if, instead of counting the bayonets every month, you just seal them in a box, with a security seal. This would only need breaking on HO/TO, unless the bayonets were needed in the interim.

msr
 
#18
boney_m said:
I remember once an email from a senior officer who had his fingers on the stationary purse strings. His idea to save a fortune was to in house manufacture transit envelopes. Aparantly we were going through thousands of them and people were hoarding.

The idea was, when you get an A4 envelope through the post, you carefully open it keeping the flap intact if possible. You then tipex out the address from the front, peel of any stamps and neatly draw boxes onto the front and back using pen and ruler.

I gave myself 5 minutes per envelope to produce them. They are bought in packs of 50 and cost about 4 quid. That means it would take a tad over 4 hours for me to produce a packs worth. On my rate of pay we could have resupped the whole unit. I mentioned the lunacy of the idea to the regie FofS over a pint in the mess, the result of which i was told to order some transit envelopes.

Bloody officers.

Boney
I'll think you'll remember that this particular occifer was not of the usual standard (if it's the same one I am thinking of). F*ckin' barkin' mad git.
 
#19
paul_jrn said:
good idea about the velcro, but some dump cnut of a sprog would iron and melt it, making it useless. Thus having to exchange his clothing more.
Plus could you imagine being in a orders briefing in a tactical location and everyone going in there pockets for a notebook and the noice that would make!

Still would be a good idea for putting up cam nets though! :wink:
If the enemy are close enough to hear the Velcro me thinks your toast anyway 8O
 
#20
Never mind velcro I think I may have discovered a time machine, on the sigs page my post seems to have been sent tomorrow. Cosmic :wink:
 

Latest Threads

New Posts