The Garden

TheIronDuke

On ROPS
On ROPs
Book Reviewer
#1
The garden.

We're supposed to do it at our age, even though we pay Foul Old Bill £300 a month to ponce about in his rustic strides, spit and say "Whoa, that Hydranger dont bant to be thair and it baint right thou saying it do so it be"

Muttering old fool. Jesus.

If I could nuke anything, I would put the fucking garden ahead of Gordon Brown.

(only joking CPS)

No I'm not.

Gardens are a hassle. Why did they not warn us about gardens when we were young and able to do something about it?
 
#2
TheIronDuke said:
The garden.

We're supposed to do it at our age, even though we pay Foul Old Bill £300 a month to ponce about in his rustic strides, spit and say "Whoa, that Hydranger dont bant to be thair and it baint right thou saying it do so it be"

Muttering old fool. Jesus.

If I could nuke anything, I would put the fucking garden ahead of Gordon Brown.

(only joking CPS)

No I'm not.

Gardens are a hassle. Why did they not warn us about gardens when we were young and able to do something about it?
Gardens are important, where would you put the shed otherwise?
 
#3
Because gardens are a cover. They are a smoke and mirrors device for covering the fact that gardens are where SHEDS are located!
 
#6
Shhhhhhh...
 
#8
When you have been married for donkey's years, retired and want to escape 'her in doors' then it's the perfect place to be [especially when a young and very attactive wench lives next door]. On a serious note, I grow enough fruit and veg to last me all year although I had to buy another freezer just for runner beans, peas and soft fruits.
 

TheIronDuke

On ROPS
On ROPs
Book Reviewer
#9
exile1 said:
When you have been married for donkey's years, retired and want to escape 'her in doors' then it's the perfect place to be [especially when a young and very attactive wench lives next door]. On a serious note, I grow enough fruit and veg to last me all year although I had to buy another freezer just for runner beans, peas and soft fruits.
gardener

GARDENER
 
#10
TheIronDuke said:
exile1 said:
When you have been married for donkey's years, retired and want to escape 'her in doors' then it's the perfect place to be [especially when a young and very attactive wench lives next door]. On a serious note, I grow enough fruit and veg to last me all year although I had to buy another freezer just for runner beans, peas and soft fruits.
gardener

GARDENER
Not SHEDS then?
 
#11
I find the larger garden useful for providing sufficent space to deploy minefields with good arcs of fire.

All to protect "the Shed".

Litotes
 

TheIronDuke

On ROPS
On ROPs
Book Reviewer
#13
LancePrivateJones said:
TheIronDuke said:
exile1 said:
When you have been married for donkey's years, retired and want to escape 'her in doors' then it's the perfect place to be [especially when a young and very attactive wench lives next door]. On a serious note, I grow enough fruit and veg to last me all year although I had to buy another freezer just for runner beans, peas and soft fruits.
gardener

GARDENER
Not SHEDS then?
Well, since you force my hand...

Lets talk vices?

NO not young goats, vices, for clamping things. Other than goats.

Now, your Shed Walt will tell you that only a 6" Record will do the job. But I say, a 6" Sealey, while it does not have the quick release of a Record, is a better tool.

And cheaper. And with a harder anvil.

For ones shed.

oops.
 
#15
I didn't have a shed when I moved here 3 year's ago so built one of my own [flintstone] design measuring 2m x 2m x 2m, really solid and finally weighting about 250kg. No prep and planning as usual and then had the difficulty of getting it out of the garage with only 3 cm of clearance.... doh! Finally wheeled it out on rollers made of a chopped up broomstick with 4 of us finally lifting it onto a concrete base 10 metres away. Such was the strain that my ringpiece felt like a punch in the mouth for weeks and did my piles no good at all!!!!
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
#16
This shed. Does it have boats in? What colour is the door?
 
#18
Where do the attack dogs crap if you don't have a garden,Oh and I have 2 sheds and a greenhouse
 
#19
Gardens are great. Where else are you going to chop wood and throw axes at your neighbours cats, build massive bonfires and "accidentally" cremate your neighbours hibernating tortoise before lobbing it back over their fence with "sorry" scraped into its fire blackened shell, and fire up your woodchipper at sparrowfart?

Sandy - irritating his neighbours from his garden sanctum since 2001.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#20
Gardens are a place for peaceful and reflective moments. For thankin the Supreme Being for creating flowers, for allowing us to have butterflies. For lsitening to the gentle drone of the bumble bee as it does the work of old Mother Nature. For drinking in the scents of delicate blooms. For marvelling at the colours that blossom in a suburban house. Bur mostly, for sheds.
 

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