The funniest things found on Army Vehicles

Discussion in 'REME' started by alb, Jul 13, 2008.

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  1. alb

    alb Clanker

    As there have been a few serious threads lately I thought it was time to switch fire to the funnier side of our Corps. Be it illegal mods, lost belongings or unwelcome occupants I have found numerous funny things on vehicles throughout my career. From squirrels storing nuts in engine compartments, wasps nesting under canopies and even a Bedford with a built in shower unit for exercise, I was just wondering what is the funniest thing found by a REME soldier?
  2. On returning from Kosovo I found mouse had wedged itself into the drain hole in the crane control compartment on my WR 513.

    It didn't half kick off when I yanked it from the hole. :D
  3. My first unit in BAOR was 4/7 DG 1976-78. We had an Artisan Staffy who had his bedford kitted out with a Landrover fuel tank that had a kettle element fixed into it and pipes running down to a sink unit so he could have hot & cold running water for his wash & shave first thing in the morning. The truck had a 500W geny strapped under the body and being the Jnr Cfn it was my job to get up an hour earlier than everyone else to start the genny. The only people who got to use the bedford were the staffy and his Cpl, the rest of us kipped on another bedford which had an alladin stove bolted to the floor so we could get some warmth, cook and boil up our own hot water.
    Whilst at 8 Fld Wksp in the early 80's on my 1st exercise (Salisbury Plain) with them I got up on the first morning to find two of our LCpls wearing dressing gowns sitting on the back of the bedford at the work bench which was covered with a white table cloth and had a nice silver tea service sat on it.
  4. I went along to the RASS a few years back, and thought I'd annoy the lads on their "stalls" with the 510s. After abusing a few of the RGJ boys, and trying to strip all the weapons down (it was funny at the time....honest!) I thought I'd look at the ammo on display.

    One of the 30mm prac rounds was live......a quick word and that soon disappeared from the table. Back to basics methinks.
  5. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    I once saw a Tiffy on a Chieftan, funny as fcuk.
  6. My mate found four dead Kenyans jammed under the front of his bedford in their trashed motor.
  7. A Chieftain driving alonga road on FTX towing about 200m of wire fence.
  8. Being of a small stature, I was always able to virtually get under the L60 as it was on the way out of the hull. Lost count of the number of 1/2" * 7/16" af spanners found in the oil/diesel down there.

    Found some scabby out of date Sh*tehouse beer once under the ARRV floorplates once, didn't stop me scuppering it though.

  9. Being given the job of dogsbody on exercise with our reccy mech, Cpl Phil De** and discovering his liking for "alternative" pornography stashed under the back seat in his Foden. Skin 2 anybody?

    And also, unscrewing the dashboard on a 110 to find the entire loom re wired in yellow wire, thanks Spike. Finally, getting in the OC's rover after his driver decided to paint the complete interior in NATO green!
  10. A 434 belonging to another Bty Ftr Sect that we called the Creepy Coup becuase it looked like the thing off Whacky Races. It had a Tiify box as a seat in front of the penthouse to sit on, that's all, and a penthouse frame so high you could step through the door without crouching, all so that they could get extra beds in. It was collapsable for the train and I distinctly remember seeing the ugliest Cfn in the LAD nickname Pete (after the Dragon) poking his head out of the door as it lurched down the road.

    Moved to another LAD where I inherited a 434 with a lower 'normal' penthouse but amazingly it had one jack bed on the right as you stepped in, and 3 in front of you (floor, bin lids and a hanging frame).

    My final, returning from Granby, putting all our TTFs through Aylesbury Trucks and then them ringing to say they'd out inspected the first, jacked up the cab and a live hand grenade fell out of the dash.
  11. DSG have a bit of a purge on vehicles being FFE at the moment so I guess that granade was not the only one!!

  12. The ASM climbing out the back of a Bedford one early morning, while on exercise, wearing silk pajamas.
  13. Whilst in FRG at 4 Armd in Detmold, we had a squat to pish mech who took his slippers with him on his 434. Wanted to carpet the "Well", clearly not sure what the role of his vehicle was!!

  14. Illegal immigrants? Has CGS become a 'Snakehead'? I think we should be told. (BBC News link)

  15. Cheeky bastards :albino: