Right you crazy arrsers. Today I had my brother in laws funeral to attend to. There was a coffin, and the usual malarky. Within 5 mins of entering the crem' a lady walks up to the priest and says "Trish says that I need to be by the front" and a row of the other side of the family get moved a row back. Fair enough.....couldn't care less. Halfway through the proceedings an old bird in purple velvet walks up to the coffin and places a ribbon thing on the casket next to his riding helmet, and gloves. Although none of us know who she was! So...we've had a good drink, and a good laugh and come up with the idea of the funeral Grand Prix. So far we have come up with some basic scoring rules. front pew - 10 points (-1 point going backwards for each row) tissues used (snot value) - 1 point for each tissue used Singing - the priest was as usefull at singing as Mirah Hindley was to babysiting - so any song in tune must be worth 5 pnts Misc - any "tribute" on coffin worth 5 points Bluffing as a Pall bearer worth 10 points Puking during service must be wort at least 2 points, depending on who you puke over. I look forward to seeing more suggestions in the morning! I leave it up to my faithful tinternet friends.