The French Air Force

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Mr_Fingerz, Nov 30, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    To be read in a french accent…

    Pierre is the greatest fighter pilot in the French air force (for what that is worth). One day he and his fiancée Amelie left the busy city of Paris for a picnic in the countryside.

    During the course of the afternoon, the pair began to feel amorous. Amelie turned to Pierre and said “Kiss me”, so Pierre rummaged in the picnic basket and brought out a bottle of red wine. He poured some of the wine onto her lips and then kissed her passionately.

    After they came up for air, Amelie turned to Pierre and said; “Pierre, that was wonderful, but why did you have to pour the wine onto my lips?” Pierre replied, “I am Pierre, the greatest fighter pilot in France, and when I have red meat, I must have red wine.”

    A little later, the couple became amorous again and Amelie said to Pierre, “Kiss me again, but this time lower”. Once again Pierre rummaged in the picnic basket, this time he pulled out a bottle of white wine. He removed her top, poured the wine over her breasts and began to nuzzle them.

    After a while Amelie said “that was wonderful, but why did you pour white wine over me?” Pierre replied; “I am Pierre, the greatest fighter pilot in France, and when I have white meat, I must have white wine.”

    Later still, they were becoming more and more amorous. Amelie turned to Pierre and said, “Pierre, kiss me again, but lower still”. Pierre returned to the picnic basket and removed a bottle of brandy. Pierre then turned to Amelie, removed her knickers, poured brandy over her lady bits, and set the brandy ablaze.

    After a bit of screaming and shouting, Amelie doused the flames and said, “What the f*** did you do that for?”

    Pierre replied; “I am Pierre, the greatest fighter pilot in France, and when I go down, I go down in flames.”
     
  2. ha! There goes another keyboard! That's the third time this month...it's getting expensive!

    Dudders
     
  3. Thats excellent
     
  4. I thought it was shit
     
  5. Old but still good
     
  6. Very old.
     
  7. oldbaldy

    oldbaldy LE Moderator Good Egg (charities)
    1. Battlefield Tours

    So old it's older than me.
     
  8. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    An oldie, I admit, but a goodie...
     
  9. Sorry if this one's old, but it was new to me. Thought it appropriate.

    Man goes into bar, orders gin and tonic. The barman gives him an apple.
    Man: WTF is this?
    Barman: Take a bite sir...
    Man does so and...
    Man: Blimey! it tastes of gin!
    Barman: Turn the apple around and try again.
    Man: Wow! That tastes of tonic - clever! How about a rum and coke?
    Again, the barman produces an apple. Man bites the apple.
    Man: Bugger me - it's rum!
    He dutifully turns the apple around and finds the opposite side tastes of coke. The man now seeks to be adventurous.
    Man: Can I have some pussy?
    Barman produces, as expected, an apple into which the man chomps eagerly.
    Man: Aaargh! This tastes of sh1t!
    Barman: just turn the apple around sir.

    Well?