The First World War, Bar Fight Version

Discussion in 'Military History and Militaria' started by DANJANOU, Aug 19, 2010.

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  1. (I can't take credit for this, I friend posted it on another forum.)

    An alternative approach to teaching history…

    Are You Looking at My Pint?

    Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the pub, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria’s pint.

    Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

    Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.

    Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

    Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria’s trousers.

    Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

    Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

    Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

    Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

    Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

    Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

    Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

    Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.

    Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

    Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

    France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

    Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

    Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it.

    France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

    Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

    America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

    By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
  2. I wish they had taught it that way when I was at school, it would have been easier to remember for the exam.
  3. Germany gets put into a coma, and wakes up 30 years later and wants to know who stole its wallet, blames the Jew in the corner and starts wind-milling until everyone standing next to Germany is on the ground...
  4. WWII on Facebook

  5. Excellent!

    Only two things missing - someone calling someone else a poof, and a female dragging someone back saying 'Leave it, he's not worth it'
  6. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    That would be Liberty telling the septics to take an 'isolationist' position.
  7. Brilliant.
  8. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Both are truly excellent :)
  9. I think we missed a bit here. **

    "Austria punches Serbia, Russia starts to roll up it's sleeves [this will take some time as Russia is that very big but equally slow bloke we all know]"
  10. America landed on the moon.ha,ha,ha,.After downing Herr Brauns steiner.:)