The Final Solution

#1
To end the fucking number of soaps on our screens I have come up with the Soap Final Solution.

Terrorist cells operating out of the areas of Walford, Coronation Street and Rural Emmerdale are to carry out a co-ordinated attack using dirty bombs unfortunately they all go off before they get out of the smelly bedsits they reside in taking out the immediate areas including all characters.

Yes I am bored.
 
#2
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not Corrie St, it's the only one I watch.
 
#5

A perfectly natural response of functioning brain cells to soap operas. Nothing to be worried about.

I would say, though, that your solution lacks an element of sexual humiliation for the main characters. Can we substitute 'bukakke bomb' for 'dirty bomb'?
 
#6
To end the fucking number of soaps on our screens I have come up with the Soap Final Solution.

Terrorist cells operating out of the areas of Walford, Coronation Street and Rural Emmerdale are to carry out a co-ordinated attack using dirty bombs unfortunately they all go off before they get out of the smelly bedsits they reside in taking out the immediate areas including all characters.

Yes I am bored.
Can they also take out the entire American sitcom,talent show and reality TV industry at the same time?
 
#7
Here's something that might help your telly viewing woes

off-switch.jpg
 
#8
What's a soap opera?? Is it some kind of kinky pantomine?
 
#10
I'd rather see some sort of zombie soap apocalypse, where all the characters who've been killed off/left the series, or actually died come back as zombies and eat the current cast.
 
#11
I can tell that you are a single man with no kids.

PS Can I add Ben 10, Toy Story,The f*cking Wiggles and Roary the frigging Racing Car to the list?
Peppa pig, team umizoomi and the little kingdom. Parents uniiiiiittteee!!!!
 
#12
I'd rather see some sort of zombie soap apocalypse, where all the characters who've been killed off/left the series, or actually died come back as zombies and eat the current cast.
Zombies aren't notoriously big on bukkake though. Where's the bukkake?
 
#14
Zombies aren't notoriously big on bukkake though. Where's the bukkake?
Zombie bukakke, could be the next big thing in the horror/porn market. Imagine hordes of zombies staggering along after some blonde bimbo, before finally cornering her and covering her in yellow/green, lumpy, rotting spaff.

Hitting your local branch of Blockbuster in 2012!
 
#16
Here's something that might help your telly viewing woes

View attachment 59756
That will not work, for the simple reason TV's (or owt else) haven't shipped with a mechanical OFF switch for ten years now. Yep, in a massive feat of marketing/retarded engineering/stupidity, we have managed to over-complicate the world's simplest device. The power button simply controls a logical state in order to allow a remote control to put the device into 'standby' or 'operating'.

Fuckwittery, idleness are obesity triumph over common sense.

I'm only half joking. You can configure the on/off power button on a PC to "power down" or "wait 4 seconds". It is possible to confuse the baisc PC hardware whether the machine is off, standby, or on, to the extend that pressing the power button does nothing, and you have to remove the internal motherboard power connectors, short out the "on/off" jumper headers, and start all over again...

The Rupert effect is no longer confined to the product and Oxbridge and Sandhurst; desert lighthouses can now be found industry-wide.
 
#17
Peppa pig, team umizoomi and the little kingdom. Parents uniiiiiittteee!!!!
Sod that - Peppa Pig (and all her family) are being BBQ'd alive (no boiled eggs allowed). The trotters being removed while the BBQ is warming up. The Jamaican spicy sauce is being applied to cuts over the bodies as they cook.

(Disclaimer - if it looks like I have over thought this, believe me, after 2 years of the hideous monstrosity this is tame)
 
#18
Zombie bukakke, could be the next big thing in the horror/porn market. Imagine hordes of zombies staggering along after a midget, before finally cornering her and covering her in yellow/green, lumpy, rotting spaff.

Hitting your local branch of Blockbuster in 2012!
Sold as corrected.
 
#19
That will not work, for the simple reason TV's (or owt else) haven't shipped with a mechanical OFF switch for ten years now. Yep, in a massive feat of marketing/retarded engineering/stupidity, we have managed to over-complicate the world's simplest device. The power button simply controls a logical state in order to allow a remote control to put the device into 'standby' or 'operating'.

Fuckwittery, idleness are obesity triumph over common sense.

I'm only half joking. You can configure the on/off power button on a PC to "power down" or "wait 4 seconds". It is possible to confuse the baisc PC hardware whether the machine is off, standby, or on, to the extend that pressing the power button does nothing, and you have to remove the internal motherboard power connectors, short out the "on/off" jumper headers, and start all over again...

The Rupert effect is no longer confined to the product and Oxbridge and Sandhurst; desert lighthouses can now be found industry-wide.
Do UK electrical sockets not come with an on/off switch anymore then?

Do I need to draw a big red arrow?

power_socket_uk.jpg

:)
 
#20
I'd rather see some sort of zombie soap apocalypse, where all the characters who've been killed off/left the series, or actually died come back as zombies and eat the current cast.
That's basically Eastenders isn't it?
 

Similar threads

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top