The final solution to the Landy GB issue?

Discussion in 'Cars, Bikes 'n AFVs' started by TheIronDuke, Aug 6, 2010.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Landy gearboxes and transfer boxes piss oil. There it is.

    So, unless you are the sort of **** weirdo who crawls about underneath, in all weathers with a tube of Hypoid oil in your grasp, you are going to be replacing your boxes every three or four years.

    My associate Nigs The Grease Monkey claims to have a solution.

    Mix a pint of Hypoid oil with a small Hovis loaf. In a blender.

    Ram the sludge into G/B and transfer box - happy days. His theory is... the oil soaked bread sticks to the gears and doesnt piss all over the deck.

    I love Nigs The Grease Monkey like a brother. But I dont trust him.

    Is he winding me up or what?
  2. If you tie a veal cutlet under your transfer box, by the time you've driven home it will be ready to have the deep fried breadcrumbs released, via the drain plug, and added as a coating. Not quite a Wienerschnitzel, but tasty all the same.
  3. Come on, for gods sake, and all his little holy cherubs, what type of Hovis loaf are we menstruating about. I believe the wholemeal is fine, but stay away from the Granary and 'The best of both'
    Both are advocates of the 'bodgit and scarper' method preferred by the REME, but a discerning gentleman, such as yourself would, in my opinion be better off abandoning landrover and instead purchase a nice little Kia.
    It has apparentley 'The power to surprise'
    According to Kia Motors, the name "Kia" derives from the Sino-Korean words ki ("to come out") and a (which stands for Asia), it is roughly translated as "arise or come up out of Asia" or "rising out of Asia".
    Tomorrow I recieve delivery of my first Korean car, which also coincides with a visit to the Register Office to rename my Wife Asia, I seem to come up out of Asia on a regular occasion. I still haven't got any credit for any of her bastard offspring yet.
    Hope this helps.
  4. Sawdust.

    (Worked on my RL)
  5. If you've had the wisdom to invest in a Overdrive, you'll find they fry potatoes loverly in about 5 miles, and a (pierced) tin of veg-of-your-choice wire-tied to the exhaust manifold completes your meal on wheels.

    Sadly, you may still need a new gearbox, t-box and o/d, and possibly an exhaust system too, but look on the bright side: now you've eaten well you'll be strong enough to wield spanners to do the swap.
  6. So a bodge up job with some flexi pipe, a leccy pump and an oil cooler rad to get the temperature out of the oil from said G/B wouldnt work?

    Ahh.... that'll be my taxi then :)
  7. Yup. Oil on the driveway. Wives get gritty and uncooperative, and their voices become louder, whingier, more and more vicious.

    I'm considering a move to Tampa, myself. Even with the Union Flag on my Landy.
  8. I just got rid of the piece of crap and bought a Navara.
  9. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    If it's not leaking oil it's got none in it

    Have they took that out of the handbook then?
  10. its a landrover for F##k Sake what do you expect
  11. What? It's gay? Is it because they're designed to have a man inside them? Do they have diesel dyke versions?
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    I do not know where you live, but I bet I can find out before 04.00 tomorow.

    But 'ne mind the boxes.


    Theres the best part of a ton of top soil under that. And its lashing down. Truly, God hates the Landy.