The Filthy Limerick Competition.

There was a young lady called Horton
Who had one big long tit and a short 'un
To make up for that, she'd a fuckin' big twat
and a fart like a 650 Norton.
The one I heard was:
There was a young lady from Horton,
Who had a long tit and a short 'un,
To counteract that,
She had a lobsided twat,
And a fart like a 650 Norton.
When hazed by a dumb Mic named Schweik,
I found his demeanor quite weak,
Tis' a man I think crass,
To pump his mom's ass,
While his dad sprays a load on her cheek.
Last edited:
The Bishop of Ukingham.
Stood on the bridge at Buckingham.
Watching the stunts of the cunts, in the punts.
And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking 'em.

Take an orange from the box.
There was a baker from Nottingham
whilst making eclairs would put snot in 'em
if he ran out of snot
he would, like as not
take his pecker and jack off a shot in 'em

There was a young lass from Cape Cod
who dreamt she'd been buggered by God
it wasn't Jehovah
that turned the girl over
but Roger the lodger, the dirty old codger, the bugger, the bastard, the sod
There were three witches of Kent
Who carried an old man off in a tent
Those dirty old witches
They pulled down his britches
And swung on his dick 'til it bent.


War Hero
There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One fine afternoon
She sat down with a spoon
And she drank herself under the table!

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