I put this into the old jokes Forum and thought I'd redo it here. This is a story about a guy named Sid, who used to win The Filthy Limerick competition every year. Last year he sent in his most disgusting flithy Limerick ever...and was stunned to find out he'd only come second. As the Limerick wasn't yet published, the editor couldn't tell him what it was, but feeling sorry for the distraught loser, gave him the phone number of the winner. Sid immediately rang and was again floored when the phone was answered. "Miss Rose Brown speaking." A fucking splitarse had won!!! Sid explained who he was and asked Rose to speak her Limerick. She said "Oh, I couldn't do that young man, I'm 82 and don't say things like that out loud." Sid was gobsmacked, "82 FFS!!" "Well I'm a filthy Limerick expert, so will you just dah de dah the rude bits and I'll fill them in for myself?" He said The old lady thought it over and eventually said to an impatient Sid "I can't see that it would hurt me to do that, so I will dah de dah it for you. Are you ready?" "Yes of course I'm ready" said an inwardly seething Sid, who still didn't believe that his best, most disgusting filthy Limerick ever, had been beaten into second place by an old fart. "Right then, here goes" she said......... "Dah diddy dah diddy dah dah diddy, Diddy dah diddy dah dah dah diddy, Diddy dah dah diddy dah, Diddy dah dah diddy dah, Dah diddy dah diddy fucking bollocks." Feel free to beat it with your own Limerick.