The filthy limerick competition.

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by Monty417, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. The winner of the 2008 Filthy limerick competition was recently announced as Miss Geraldine Windsor. The guy who had won the competition every year since it started in 1999, just couldn't believe it.
    He was especially annoyed that 'His' competition, had been won by a women. He rang up the Editor and told him that he thought it impossible that someone had submitted a filthier limerick than his. This year he had composed his most filthy and disgusting limerick ever and had been informed that he had come second a woman. To make matters worse, the Editor said that she was seventy nine years old. He demanded that the limerick was read out to him over the phone. He was told that would be against the rules and he must wait for publication. He made a final plea, could he have her telephone number as a favour, seeing as how he had always won the competition until now. The Editor said that under the circumstances, he would contact Miss Windsor to see if she would talk to him and ring him back. The Editor eventually rang back and said that she had agreed. As soon as the line was free, the guy rang her, still totally unconvinced that anyone could have come up with a filthier limerick, it just wasn't possible.

    A soft voice answered. " Geraldine speaking." He introduced himself as the nine times 'Filthy limerick' winner and asked her to tell him her winning limerick. She said. Oh! I couldn't possibly do that, especially over a public telephone line, sorry young man." He then came up with 'plan b'. He said. What about say the limerick, but you only say the clean, unoffensive words and da diddy the other bits. As a limerick expert, I'll have no problem recognising those." The old lady thought this over and not being able to see any reason against this, agreed. She said. "Right young man, here goes then..
    There was a young woman called diddy,
    who da diddy da diddy da diddy,
    da diddy da da,
    da diddy da da,
    da diddy da diddy,
    fucking bollocks."
  2. Brilliant!
    I am off the pub and I am going to claim it as mine. Excellent.