The Film...



OK, so you've done your tour, shot Terry Taliban or the Mahdi maniac, got the tee shirt...

Now imagine it is 2015- Spielberg announces his new film:

"Band of Squaddies Saving Private Fukcnuts"

So, who will play you, and why?
I'll be the fat one who goes nuts and ends up killing himself, no need for make up you see!

apart from the bit were i shoot myself, i want some for that!
I'd probably be played by Goldie Hawn in a Pte Benjamin style
Can I be the one who, for comical interlude half way through, gets caught in a Turdis having a crafty pokey bum w@nk when I forget to lock the door? Later in the film I get to ask the lootenant (this is Spielberg after all) "Sir, is that petrol or diesel?" whilst delivering a perfect pooh 'tache.
I figure Frankie Muniz will play me.. he should be old enough since it will probably take a few years to pull the requisite financing together [ especially now that Tom Cruise has been given a cornr office at Universal or something ]

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