The film of your life


The only bloke who could measure up is Ron Jeremy. And even then we might have to get a stunt double in...


Book Reviewer
christopher walken... after he's had an industrial quantity of donner kebabs.
Liam Neeson would be preferable, but unfortunately more like Colm Meaney before he became a lard a-rse and if he wore specs.
Has to be Sean Connery.....he is a dead ringer for me...............he is honest
John Matuszak would have to reclaim his make up from The Goonies to play me, oh and he would have to be alive again


Failing that it would have to be Johnny Depp I suppose, but he would have to go through a bit of make up as he's not quite handsome enough yet
George Clooney, a slightly less handsome version of me. Don't want the lead to detract from the dialogue.


War Hero
Homer Simpson. If i get through life half the man he is i'll be happy.

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