The farming and smallholding thread

[Ravers]

Yeah, sometimes I drive around with a sheep in the boot of my Merc.

What?

 

[Ravers]

Frosty start this morning.

 

[HLD DMR]

Frosty start this morning.View attachment 525379

Wee bit frosty this side of the pond this morning as well.

 

[CptDanjou]

Yeah, sometimes I drive around with a sheep in the boot of my Merc.

What?

View attachment 525375

I`m reluctant to let my missus and daughter in my Merc.

 

[Ravers]

I`m reluctant to let my missus and daughter in my Merc.

It’s fine.

The smell of the sheep is overpowered by the smell of dogs.

 

[Ravers]

In all seriousness it was a fluid situation that required quick thinking and rapid transportation back to the farm.

Some helpful walker or walkers decided to go into that field, despite there being no public rights of way. They left the spring off the gate and the sheep had its leg badly tangled up.

I happened to be driving past, saw the sheep in trouble and took it home. I don’t think the leg is broken, but it can’t stand up.

No time to get the Landy or quad with a trailer.

 

[Londo]

In all seriousness it was a fluid situation that required quick thinking and rapid transportation back to the farm.

Some helpful walker or walkers decided to go into that field, despite there being no public rights of way. They left the spring off the gate and the sheep had its leg badly tangled up.

I happened to be driving past, saw the sheep in trouble and took it home. I don’t think the leg is broken, but it can’t stand up.

No time to get the Landy or quad with a trailer.

What's the matter with these idiots ?
Probably think they have been so good having a nice healthy , green walk in the countryside and all they have done is injure an animal .
Selfish sods .

 

[Oops]

Sorry to put a damper on the proceedings, but anyone else aware of the Meedya push today from our Min of Ag. George Useless Eustace?

Anyhow, us feather bedded food producers, that actually supply those benign chaps at Tesco et Al. with their raw ingredients, often below CoP and in many many cases, for wages less than the minimum wage (stepdaughter's first day at Tesco this Saturday, earned her more brass on an hourly rate than I've ever drawn Self employed, with various 'tickets' allowing me to apply agri chemicals,medicines, operate high tech machines etc.) but hey.
There's gonna be a new scheme, to benefit the environment ( no problems with that) to the detriment of producing food ( hmm, at least I won't starve) the results of the fevered workings of that Son of the Soil billionaire Zac Goldsmith.

To be fair he's not clever enough to do it all by himself, so he's taken onboard the help and views of those august NGO's
The National Trust and RSPB......

Guess who are two of the biggest beneficiaries of the Environmental cash that's hosed around from our 'Green Govt' y' know the ones with degrees in 'bio eco stuff' yet can't tell the difference between a brown hare and a bunny wabbit?

Anyways, trees and grass ( but no sheep and cows, there's to be "a lower population of ruminating animals") so we can preach to the World how we're leading the way combatting Climate change , meanwhile The Chinks, Aussies, Africans,Sceptics and Brazilians, can carry on chopping down rainforests, drive their wildlife to extinction, dam their rivers and empty their aquifers, shipping stuff halfway round the Globe to sell Bryony her Strawberries on Christmas Day.

Hmm.
Grrr.

 

[Ravers]

Sorry to put a damper on the proceedings, but anyone else aware of the Meedya push today from our Min of Ag. George Useless Eustace?

Anyhow, us feather bedded food producers, that actually supply those benign chaps at Tesco et Al. with their raw ingredients, often below CoP and in many many cases, for wages less than the minimum wage (stepdaughter's first day at Tesco this Saturday, earned her more brass on an hourly rate than I've ever drawn Self employed, with various 'tickets' allowing me to apply agri chemicals,medicines, operate high tech machines etc.) but hey.
There's gonna be a new scheme, to benefit the environment ( no problems with that) to the detriment of producing food ( hmm, at least I won't starve) the results of the fevered workings of that Son of the Soil billionaire Zac Goldsmith.

To be fair he's not clever enough to do it all by himself, so he's taken onboard the help and views of those august NGO's
The National Trust and RSPB......

Guess who are two of the biggest beneficiaries of the Environmental cash that's hosed around from our 'Green Govt' y' know the ones with degrees in 'bio eco stuff' yet can't tell the difference between a brown hare and a bunny wabbit?

Anyways, trees and grass ( but no sheep and cows, there's to be "a lower population of ruminating animals") so we can preach to the World how we're leading the way combatting Climate change , meanwhile The Chinks, Aussies, Africans,Sceptics and Brazilians, can carry on chopping down rainforests, drive their wildlife to extinction, dam their rivers and empty their aquifers, shipping stuff halfway round the Globe to sell Bryony her Strawberries on Christmas Day.

Hmm.
Grrr.

Yep, we‘ve already earmarked a few acres for “re-wilding”. Gotta be worth it for a few grand.

It‘s no big deal for us, we just plant trees on shit land that we wouldn’t be using anyway. If it’s near a river or on a steep hillside, it’s getting planted.

By all accounts there will be grants for the following:

1. Protecting 'heritage' farm buildings and stone walls
2. Expanding hedges
3. Capturing carbon in soils and cutting pesticides
4. Natural flood management including restoring river bends
5. Landscape recovery, restoring peatland and planting new woods
6. Reducing antibiotics
7. Improving animal health and welfare

We already do all that stuff. A few years back we completely re-routed the river and nearly all our buildings and walls would be considered to be “heritage.“

We actually stand to do alright out of this. Adapt, overcome etc.

Free money. Yay.

 

[Ravers]

What's the matter with these idiots ?
Probably think they have been so good having a nice healthy , green walk in the countryside and all they have done is injure an animal .
Selfish sods .

Always seems to be that field. It’s next to the river so people like to walk along it. We’ve put signs up, no one gives a shit.

 

[HLD DMR]

Sorry to put a damper on the proceedings, but anyone else aware of the Meedya push today from our Min of Ag. George Useless Eustace?

Anyhow, us feather bedded food producers, that actually supply those benign chaps at Tesco et Al. with their raw ingredients, often below CoP and in many many cases, for wages less than the minimum wage (stepdaughter's first day at Tesco this Saturday, earned her more brass on an hourly rate than I've ever drawn Self employed, with various 'tickets' allowing me to apply agri chemicals,medicines, operate high tech machines etc.) but hey.
There's gonna be a new scheme, to benefit the environment ( no problems with that) to the detriment of producing food ( hmm, at least I won't starve) the results of the fevered workings of that Son of the Soil billionaire Zac Goldsmith.

To be fair he's not clever enough to do it all by himself, so he's taken onboard the help and views of those august NGO's
The National Trust and RSPB......

Guess who are two of the biggest beneficiaries of the Environmental cash that's hosed around from our 'Green Govt' y' know the ones with degrees in 'bio eco stuff' yet can't tell the difference between a brown hare and a bunny wabbit?

Anyways, trees and grass ( but no sheep and cows, there's to be "a lower population of ruminating animals") so we can preach to the World how we're leading the way combatting Climate change , meanwhile The Chinks, Aussies, Africans,Sceptics and Brazilians, can carry on chopping down rainforests, drive their wildlife to extinction, dam their rivers and empty their aquifers, shipping stuff halfway round the Globe to sell Bryony her Strawberries on Christmas Day.

Hmm.
Grrr.

Might as well add Canada to that list. When it's advertised that beef farmers are really grass farmers because cow shitë helps the environment as it makes grass grow healthier, we're not exactly the most honest bunch.

 

[vinniethemanxcat]

Yeah, sometimes I drive around with a sheep in the boot of my Merc.

What?

View attachment 525375

"Oh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.........

My friends all drive tractors, I must make amends....."


With apologies to Janis Joplin.

 

[cymraeg]

Always seems to be that field. It’s next to the river so people like to walk along it. We’ve put signs up, no one gives a shit.

Can't you just shoot the bastards and dump them in said river

 

[RCT(V)]

Yeah, sometimes I drive around with a sheep in the boot of my Merc.

What?

View attachment 525375

I do hope that did NOT include the school run !!

It would have totally negated all the “Best Dad” kudos you had won, taking them to school in the Ferrari .

 

[Humble Tiller]

Can't you just shoot the bastards and dump them in said river

No, the Environment Agency would go bisbo.

 

[Humble Tiller]

Yep, we‘ve already earmarked a few acres for “re-wilding”. Gotta be worth it for a few grand.

It‘s no big deal for us, we just plant trees on shit land that we wouldn’t be using anyway. If it’s near a river or on a steep hillside, it’s getting planted.

By all accounts there will be grants for the following:

1. Protecting 'heritage' farm buildings and stone walls
2. Expanding hedges
3. Capturing carbon in soils and cutting pesticides
4. Natural flood management including restoring river bends
5. Landscape recovery, restoring peatland and planting new woods
6. Reducing antibiotics
7. Improving animal health and welfare

We already do all that stuff. A few years back we completely re-routed the river and nearly all our buildings and walls would be considered to be “heritage.“

We actually stand to do alright out of this. Adapt, overcome etc.

Free money. Yay.

I have a couple of issues with ELMS.
In no particular order, I have zero faith that it will be administered with any degree of competence, especially as between now and its inception in 2024 DEFRA will have to introduce, and phase out, the stopgap Sustainable Farming Initiative. Anyone who has had to deal with the RPA, or Natural England, will be extremely nervous about being paid on time, and indeed at all.
There doesn't seem to be any incentive to be a productive farmer, producing food. It is getting harder and harder, certainly on the conventional arable side, to make the case for keeping going; for sure there will be a lot less sugar beet grown next season if a derogation isn't granted to UK growers to use neonics this year, like the rest of Europe has.
The NFU has come up with an alternative proposal, the Sustainable Food and Farming Scheme, which looks a lot more sensible and has the backing of many industry groups, such as the Tenant Farmers Association . This will ensure Whitehall gives it a stiff ignoring and instead blunder on with an over complicated goat f**k of a scheme, that no-one knows how to administer properly, or has any interest in so doing.

Rant over. Fencing is the order of the day. We have about fifteen miles of stock fencing to maintain, and this is increasing as I update the mess left behind by the horse nazis. The maintenance involves taking out the rotten posts and replacing them, however there is about a mile of boundary fence, split between two sites, that needs completely replacing. We have started taking the old fence out, then a contractor will put up a new fence, using aluminium posts ( Clippex ), allowing me, and my staff of one, to get on with patching up the rest. It is a hell of a lot of work for two people, and I will draft in some help, but at the same time, what a privilege. To be working on your own land, for yourself, at a time when many, many thousands of people are looking at a P45 , makes me a very lucky bloke. Please don't think I don't know it.

 

[Humble Tiller]

Today I did the temperatures and moisture content checks of all the crops in store. This is a prerequisite for being able to sell your corn as part of the ACCS, ( Assured Combinable Crops Scheme ).
ETA I test the H20 % of every trailer during harvest, so there is a record of what moisture it went into store at, this should avoid unpleasant surprises mid winter. After testing with the spear, I took a random 3 wheat samples, and did a moisture test using the bit of kit I use during harvest. This testing is a useful, if dull, protocol, and necessary for ACCS (see above). However, the only test that really matters is the one done at the recipient mill or dockside.

 

[Ravers]

Just doing the rounds after yesterday’s snow.

All looking good.

 

[beefer]

“What you fückin’ looking at?”

 

[Londo]

A thought just came to me @Ravers . That field by the river where walkers keep leaving the gate open .
Have you thought of putting a bull in that field ?
Should be ok as there's no public right of way through it and you could always put a sign up to warn people