The fantastic New Game Sweeping the Nation!

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by muzzleflash, Oct 12, 2006.

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  1. HI-JACK A PLANE - WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE

    Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of ASYLUM. Today's program
    features another chance to take part in out exciting competition:

    HI-Jack an airliner and win a council house. We've already given away
    hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our
    sponsor, the British taxpayer. And don't forget we're now the fastest
    growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't hold a
    valid British passport. You only need one word of English: ASYLUM.

    Prizes include all-expenses paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at
    £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
    accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone
    buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry
    companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused reasonable or
    un-reasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your paper and remember the
    magic password: ASYLUM.

    Only this month 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown
    Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stanstead where local
    law enforcement officers were on hand to fastrack them to their luxury
    £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of
    thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain.
    Our most popular destinations include the White Cliffs of Dover, the world
    famous Toddington Services area in Historic Bedforshire and the money trees
    at Croydon If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no
    need to phone a friend or ask the audience just apply for legal aid.
    Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help, it
    won't cost you a penny. So play today. It could change you life forever.
    Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
    activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
    bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas. SO COME ON DOWN

    Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the
    ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France. Go Straight to Britain. And
    you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the
    softest game on earth. Roll up, roll up my friends for the game that never
    ends.

    Everyone's a winner, when they play ASYLUM
     
    • Excellent Topic Excellent Topic x 7
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  2. hmm think that should be printed up onto a gloss A3 poster and put about towns and cities
     
  3. Meanwhile in 2006 we had a prophet, warning us. I think this needs an update.
     
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  4. He's not a prophet, he's a very naughty boy.


    Now phuk off!
     
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  5. I was going to give you a funny, but having thought about it I find it's not funny it's really bloody annoying.
     
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  6. Ask him the lottery numbers, when you win you can take in some Syrians in your new house.
     
  7. Isn't the only one to survive the Embassy Siege still here also.
    One of the few people who isn't claiming he was on the balcony.
     
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  8. To be fair "muzzleflash" missed the possible evolution from dripping tap to flood, as the 2015 mobs of poor victims have overtaken the odd dribs and drabs tactic.
     
    • Seems I may have been misunderstood again. I found the thread funny but the situation it describes bloody annoying. Just goes to show one should not post whilst hungover.
     
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  9. 9 years on and the real game has only just begun............. :batman:
     
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  10. Sir Bob Geldof said on the radio he would take in 4 familes - 3 in kent & 1 in London.
    Suppose he has room in his life now peaches has gone.
     
  11. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Richard Littlejohn?

    Prophet's a bit strong.
     
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  12. I don't know his name love.
     
  13. What does the future hold oh great one?
     
  14. You've been thinking about it for nine years?
     
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