The Falklands

#1
Despite acts of great heroism, three British soldiers returned from the Falkland Islands without being decorated. The captain called them into his office to explain.
"Bit of a cock-up in the medals department, chaps," he said, "so the regiment has decided to give you ten pounds sterling for each inch of measurement between any two parts of your bodies. Private, which measurement for you?"
"Tip of me toes to the top of me head, sah!"
"That's 720 pounds. Well done, private. Corporal?"
"Tip of one hand to the tip of the other, me arms outstretched, sah!"
The captain took the measurement. "Six feet, two inches....740 pounds. Very good, corporal.
Sergeant, how about you?"
"Tip of me prick to me balls, sah!"
"Very well. Drop your trousers, then."
The captain put his tape measure at one end of the man's penis, then looked up and asked, "Where are your balls, Sergeant?"
"Goose Green, Falklands, sah!"
 
#2
You utter knob.
 
B

bokkatankie

Guest
#4
I liked that one, topical and almost funny. Odd thing is is that I am trying to work out, apart from the Argentinians, of course, what other soldiers would have been there. So not bad effort but use of British a little pointless.

So on overall presentation and delivery sadly you are marked down.
 
#7
Amusing, but sadly not to anyone with their bollocks blown to buggery. Yes, heard in the boozer many a moon ago, and yes heard as a Vietnam story.
 
#10
I liked that one, topical and almost funny. Odd thing is is that I am trying to work out, apart from the Argentinians, of course, what other soldiers would have been there. So not bad effort but use of British a little pointless.

So on overall presentation and delivery sadly you are marked down.
American mercenaries ? It's OK , I'll see myself out .
 
#12
I knew a bloke who had his dick blown off in the gulf,

when he got home he gave his wife a good bollocking!!
 

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