the explorers

two explorers are lost in the jungle and get caught by cannibals. The cannibal leader is feeling generous and so gives them a challenge and whichever is the first one to complete it can go free whilst the other is eaten alive. So the cannibal leader says to them "task 1 : you must go into the forest and collect 100 of any fruit you can find." So both explorers hurry off and collect their fruit. The next day the first explorer turns up with 100 grapes. The cannibal leader then says "task 2 : shove them 1 by one up your arse." So the explorer starts to shove them up his arse ... 1, 2, 3, 4, ... 45 ...67 ... 88 ... 97, 98, 99 and suddenly bursts out laughing and they all just fall back out. The cannibal leader says to the explorer " why did you burst out laughing ! you were so close you could have gone free!" The explorer replies still laughing " i just seen my mate come back with 100 coconuts! "
The members of an expedition captured were told by the Chief that they would be skinned and eaten..and that the skins would be used to make a canoe.

The big Irish lad pulls out his eating fork and laughing like a lunatic starts stabbing himself all over his body, shouting.."Make a fucking canoe out of that then you greedy cunt"
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