A long time ago, in a medical unit far far away....Swmbo. Can you cut my fringe for me.
Whoooosh, pfftt, the smell of sulphur and his Eminence appears.
Me.. Piss off ********.
EM. Come on old son, how difficult can it be to cut a straight line with a pair of scissors.
Me... Yeah. I suppose you're right.
Snip snip snip.
Me. Ummmm... That doesn't look very good tbh love.
Swmbo.. ******* hell, what the **** have you done to my fringe.
Me. It'll be OK with some hair gel.
Does the poem end withA long time ago, in a medical unit far far away....
Twas the night before RSMs parade when and all through the camp,
Not a creature was stirring, not even Hayley (the tramp)
The two tone lightweights were hung near the shirts
In hopes that the Razzman would not go beserk
Us privates were nestled all snug in the bar
When in bursts jakeman, his hair all bizarre
Help me, oh help me, wailed jakeman with woe
I need a haircut but have nowhere to go
"goodness" I said, cos I'm polite like that,
I certainly didn't call Jakeman a twat.
It's nine in the evening and we've all been drinking
this may not turn out quite how you were thinking
quick as a flash, out came the clippers
we were so drunk, our hands were like flippers
"It's wonky," says Smudge we must make it level
so off come some more, "oops that's a bit of a devil"
now its up on the left and low on the right
a little adjustment and no it's the wrong height
in short EM advised him not to bother getting a haircut before RSMs
he only mentioned it when we were already drunk so the hair on the back of his head ended up level with the tops of his ears.
we drew a pair of eyes on the back of his head , which we all forgot about until the RSM spotted him...
RSM said "There's a distinct smell of shit,Does the poem end with
Get that THING off my square
Double him about
Till his head becomes bare.
Who fingered him ?.Dopey yank, could not get laid so decides to blow up some cheerleaders
picking his nose is going to be a problem from now on
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A southwest Virginia man who blew off his hand in an apparent explosives accident has been charged in federal court after authorities say they found evidence he was making a bomb and wanted to target “hot cheerleaders” because of his sexual frustrations.www.fox5dc.com