The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

The Emperor gives sage and impartial advice to every one
some people need it more than others
A yoot from Cambs who goes by the name of Alex Hobbs, and latterly can be seen bumming lifts and using public transport, had a small accident with his car
being a god behind the wheel he threw his ford fiesta about as if it were an RS2000
however his total lack of intelligence and overconfidence led to the car ending up on its roof
oops
now at this point most people would get out count their lucky stars, get the wreck recovered and sold, and move on
but not Nobber Hobbs
oh no, with the cunning of Professor Moriarty he took advice again from the purple one
what could go wrong
he reported his jam jar stolen when some violent thugs attacked him and stole the keys ???
I mean you can bloody give away fiestas, they aint cool innit bruv
But to confise the poor overworked Police of his plight, he got a mate to plant a ******* saucepan right in his grid
deep joy
however under polite questioning by Cambridgeshires finest who are used to dealing with web footed mongs he cracked and coughed up to it
Last thursday the Emperors Disciple was rewarded with a six month driving ban, a 12 month community order, and 60 hours of unpaid work, and most likely on a blacklist of insurers
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Guessing his insurance won't pay out either. Is there someone out there who can brighten my day and confirm that is in fact the case?
 
Yet he is still unable to pronounce his own Christian name correctly.
I actualy saw an interview where he said his mother named him Colin, pronounced exactly the same way as Brits say it, but the press kept saying it differently and he wasn't bothered enough to make a fuss about it.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
I actualy saw an interview where he said his mother named him Colin, pronounced exactly the same way as Brits say it, but the press kept saying it differently and he wasn't bothered enough to make a fuss about it.
Military nickname perhaps ?
 

Kirkz

LE
Guessing his insurance won't pay out either. Is there someone out there who can brighten my day and confirm that is in fact the case?
Driving without due care and attention, lying to the police to cover up his failings.
Highly unlikely his insurance will pay out.
 

NSP

LE
The only good thing as far as he's concerned is no one else was involved.
It's just a shame the feral cunt walked away rather than karking it. When he gets his licence back he'll doubtless resume driving like a twat - and may well take out Millicent Bystander in the process next time.

Immature mongs should not be allowed to drive cars with all the modern safety aids like ABS, ESP and air bags. That way only the sensible would survive to mature and grow up and get access to all the latest safety kit and the permanent drive-like-a-twat mongs would be Darwin'd out of the gene pool - preferably before they manage to reproduce.
 
It's just a shame the feral cunt walked away rather than karking it. When he gets his licence back he'll doubtless resume driving like a twat - and may well take out Millicent Bystander in the process next time.
The question is, which insurance if any will actually insure him?
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
It's just a shame the feral cunt walked away rather than karking it. When he gets his licence back he'll doubtless resume driving like a twat - and may well take out Millicent Bystander in the process next time.

Immature mongs should not be allowed to drive cars with all the modern safety aids like ABS, ESP and air bags. That way only the sensible would survive to mature and grow up and get access to all the latest safety kit and the permanent drive-like-a-twat mongs would be Darwin'd out of the gene pool - preferably before they manage to reproduce.
The question is, which insurance if any will actually insure him?
I very much doubt if either will bother him when he eventually decides to carry on driving.
 
Through the smell and sight of tear gas, the smell and sight of purple sulphurous smoke takes over.

Bon jour mon petit Manifestant, yonder policeman with the riot gun*

.... go and act the arrse with him, there’s nothing he can do and femmes will dig you.

Tout suite votre excellency.

Play stupid games, get frapped.

*if that’s what it is.
Why is he scanning? Does that type of sight magnify significantly?
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
He'll be getting a bill for that off the council.
My mate did when he felled one.
If he had to pay for a new lamp post, did he get to keep the old one?
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
If he had to pay for a new lamp post, did he get to keep the old one?
There's UK legal precedent against that.

I was told the beak said something along the lines of, "One cannot acquire lamp posts simply by driving into them."
 

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