The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

Go on, have a lock in. It's not like it'll cost you much if you get caught


 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
Three police cars to close down a pub. Oh, and one van to carry away the stock.
Well they are hardly going to send an unsupported PCSO to deal with a potentially large group of pissed people. EM would recommend it of course.
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
Well they are hardly going to send an unsupported PCSO to deal with a potentially large group of pissed people. EM would recommend it of course.
Why not? After all, that's all one gets explaining the situation when one complains about certain pikey activities. And that was in a general "email message" thing.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
Well they are hardly going to send an unsupported PCSO to deal with a potentially large group of pissed people. EM would recommend it of course.
Night after the Great Storm I was Guard Commander. 2300 and it fell to me to lock up the NAAFI .(As a friend put it, "when I did Guard Commander in Gibraltar, I was responsible for the Rock of Gibraltar. Do Guard Commander in Worthy Down, I'm responsible if a window is left open in the NAAFI." ) The place was in darkness, apart from a candle per table.(there was only enough power backup in the garrison to run the mainframes, DASD farm and infrastructure in the Computer Centre to pay and update records for the entire army. Living out, I'd missed RSM's briefing, last person into camp instead of first because of trees down all over Hampshire. As I got in, they sent home everybody not essential.)

In a not unfriendly manner I told the clientele the bar was shut. I wasn't precious, I'd been there myself a few years before. One voice told me to go away in short sharp jerky movements observing a regimental pause of 2-3. Two words, second word "off"). Not realising I'd been in recce and had, to quote Pink Floyd, The Wall, Nobody's Home, amazing powers of observation, he was shocked when I went nose to nose with him and very quietly reminded him it was, "Fúck off, Sergeant." In an equally quiet, menacing voice, to the crowd, " NAAFI is closed. Go."

Never seen a place empty as quickly. I hadn't wanted to get precious. There's always somebody spoils it for everybody.

 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Senior Manager: After the fiasco with a junior manager and the WhatsApp non invites, (See previous posts on this matter) I shall not make the same mistake.

EM: Good idea, why don't use an approved method of communicating with your lead clinicians and senior dentists such as WebEX

Senior Manager: I shall set up a WebEx immediately and send out invites to all

EM: Good, but don't bother checking which email address list you use, just click on the first one there.

Senior Manager: Arranged WebEx and sent invites.

Time of WebEx:
Senior Manager: It's very quiet and not the numbers we expected logging in for this vital update, bet those gits are not checking their emails when working at home and not rostered on, I shall send a suitable email to them.

EM: definitely do that.

Later that same day:
Senior Manager: Why are these folk complaining about me

EM: I would suggest perhaps an apologetic email to those those seniors who you missed in your original invite but then chasitised because you used a 5 year old address list intended for another purpose but look at all those people you invited who have since left the organisation or retired
 
As pretty much all the hotels have shut down now, I'm reduced to staying in a Travelodge. Even the nearest one is 40min drive away. Anyway, I didn't realise that EM had extensive experience in bathroom design.

So what's wrong with these pictures
20200402_074116_resized_1.jpg
20200402_074156_resized.jpg


Yes, the curtain rail ends are located directly above the edge of the shower tray, and no, the curtain doesn't reach the tray.

No wonder the floor was soaked after I'd showered.
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
As pretty much all the hotels have shut down now, I'm reduced to staying in a Travelodge. Even the nearest one is 40min drive away. Anyway, I didn't realise that EM had extensive experience in bathroom design.

So what's wrong with these pictures
View attachment 461830View attachment 461831

Yes, the curtain rail ends are located directly above the edge of the shower tray, and no, the curtain doesn't reach the tray.

No wonder the floor was soaked after I'd showered.
Travelodge obviously does not improve. I was silly enough to stay in one once because it was very close to where I was working. Never again.
Where Travelodge is concerned I feel for you.
 
Senior Manager: After the fiasco with a junior manager and the WhatsApp non invites, (See previous posts on this matter) I shall not make the same mistake.

EM: Good idea, why don't use an approved method of communicating with your lead clinicians and senior dentists such as WebEX
Senior Manager: Here's a good idea, we can instruct our consultants to conduct outpatients clinics using Whatsapp.

EM: That's a good idea, don't bother to issue Trust phones to them, just tell them to use their personal phones. They'll have to add their patients to their contacts list though. Can't see a problem though

2 days later......

Very Senior Manager: Who's fucking stupid idea was that, I've got consultants on the warpath as every patient is now calling or whatsapping their consultant at every hour of the day
 

NSP

LE
Go on, have a lock in. It's not like it'll cost you much if you get caught


The fat Northern mess that runs my local had all his "regular" mates and spouses thereof in last Friday night for a raucous karaoke party. If he does it again this week I'll be tipping off the old bill - if for no other reason than the racket keeps us awake until they call it a day midnight - 0100hrs.
 
Night after the Great Storm I was Guard Commander. 2300 and it fell to me to lock up the NAAFI .(As a friend put it, "when I did Guard Commander in Gibraltar, I was responsible for the Rock of Gibraltar. Do Guard Commander in Worthy Down, I'm responsible if a window is left open in the NAAFI." ) The place was in darkness, apart from a candle per table.(there was only enough power backup in the garrison to run the mainframes, DASD farm and infrastructure in the Computer Centre to pay and update records for the entire army. Living out, I'd missed RSM's briefing, last person into camp instead of first because of trees down all over Hampshire. As I got in, they sent home everybody not essential.)

In a not unfriendly manner I told the clientele the bar was shut. I wasn't precious, I'd been there myself a few years before. One voice told me to go away in short sharp jerky movements observing a regimental pause of 2-3. Two words, second word "off"). Not realising I'd been in recce and had, to quote Pink Floyd, The Wall, Nobody's Home, amazing powers of observation, he was shocked when I went nose to nose with him and very quietly reminded him it was, "Fúck off, Sergeant." In an equally quiet, menacing voice, to the crowd, " NAAFI is closed. Go."

Never seen a place empty as quickly. I hadn't wanted to get precious. There's always somebody spoils it for everybody.


Even when I was closing the recruits NAAFI it'd start it out with something nice (ish) along the lines of 'Ladies, Gentlemen and Pte R#######n*, the bar is closed, get to your own beds"

Usually that worked, occasionally there would be someone gob off,(normally just after a new intake has started) and had managed to get more than the 2 drink max.
I think EM had several assistants advising crow (and a few staff) on a shift basis.
I didn't ask politely twice.

For those who didn't respond positively to the second chance, a few points to note

a 4 cell maglite is heavy and study (only needed it a couple of times for 'self defence' as it was 'to hand' while I was carrying out my duties)

Marching from the NAAFI to the nearest accommodation block doesn't always take 15 minutes, but it does when I'm making a point

Additional training - such as CPR - for 15 minutes is quite tiring, especially as it then takes 15 minutes to get to the block





*one of my long term rehab crow
 

9.414

Old-Salt
Senior Manager: Here's a good idea, we can instruct our consultants to conduct outpatients clinics using Whatsapp.

EM: That's a good idea, don't bother to issue Trust phones to them, just tell them to use their personal phones. They'll have to add their patients to their contacts list though. Can't see a problem though

2 days later......

Very Senior Manager: Who's ******* stupid idea was that, I've got consultants on the warpath as every patient is now calling or whatsapping their consultant at every hour of the day
... did the Emperor not also advise that nobody would be troubling themselves over the data privacy breaches of GDPR as they upload each patient’s contact details to the evil empire data pool of FB/WA without the patient’s consent?

See another news story last year about all the linkings of “if you know x, you may know y” in California for all the patients at the clap clinic!
 
FORTRAN and COBOL as well as BASIC here.
A very young mush_dad was once called a lightweight because he was programming in Assembler rather than machine code
 
EM: Go on lad, give the ticket inspector a smack, after all why should you buy a ticket?

Shocking moment train driver BODYSLAMS teenage passenger to the floor after thug punched his rail worker colleague who asked to see his ticket

Teenager was asked to leave train by inspector after he refused to buy a ticket
Boy is said to have punched and sworn at inspector at Bagshot station in Surrey
Footage, filmed in late February, shows train driver slamming teen to the ground
South Western Railway are investigating and said driver was in 'difficult position'



1585830778129.png

The video is a hoot.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Saved, Brother, saved:

Does it work for Honkeys ?
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
I hear that the Venezuelan Navy has a direct line to the Emperor

The waterborne wankers decided to pick on a cruise liner, its hardly a bleeding threat is it ?

The Captain of the Venezuelan Ship radioed the cruise ship that he must follow it into Venezuelan waters
The frightfully polite Captain of the Cruse Ship R.C.G.S. Resolute replied that they had been drifting to due engine trouble and it was being worked on
So the Dago navy fires a few shots across her bows ??
The Captain of the Resolute ( the name is a clue) ignored the dago twats
so they had a bloody hissy fit and decided to ram the R.C.G.S. Resolute
FUCKING BIG mistake
you see the the Resolute is hard as fuck having been built in an Estonian Ship Yard for a German Company
oh and did I mention shes an icebreaker ?
doubly hard as fuck
her re inforced hull is capable of breaking through thick Antarctic ice and is suitable for year round operations
in short the old gal is nails, shes a Panzer tank of the ship world
She sustained a few minor scratches to her paintwork and a bit of panel beating required, but otherwise only mildly irritated , it will buff out.

The Dago ship ?
its fucked
the fucker sank
Germany 1
Dagos 0







any one want to quote for a salvage job
Naiguata the $350 Million dago ship is sitting in around 180 metres of ice cold water



The Dago navys latest submersible
 
Last edited:

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
As pretty much all the hotels have shut down now, I'm reduced to staying in a Travelodge. Even the nearest one is 40min drive away. Anyway, I didn't realise that EM had extensive experience in bathroom design.

So what's wrong with these pictures
View attachment 461830View attachment 461831

Yes, the curtain rail ends are located directly above the edge of the shower tray, and no, the curtain doesn't reach the tray.

No wonder the floor was soaked after I'd showered.
bloody shower tray is in the wrong way around
 

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