The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

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The Emperor awakes our sleeping raven haired beauty
my child, you have an excellent education, come from a better part of the great metropolis, have a fine upstanding double barrelled name, a body to die for
why waste your time working like the Proles

travel, surf, make music, appear in front of your many adoring fans, swim with sharks
make videos and place them upon you tube for your adoring fans

oh and the small matter of money
well claim it from the DWP thats what immigrants do isnt it ?
Mwaaaah

October Hamlyn-Wright, blagged 27K in benefits paid into her account to fund carers
she needed these carers to get her out of bed and to wash her every day ( yes I know one or two of you lot with no standards would do her for free)

seems she not only did not employ carers, she had a biblical rebirth, like Jesus leaving the crypt and appearing in front of his disciples telling them where to fish ( well she nearly got that bit right)

trouble is her behaviour made her stand out
and she was seen walking, running, shopping, and come the big day in court
her You Tube vids were played for the Jury
shes pulled her facebook right down
but here it is if you need to offer your services for bedbaths and shower scenes


Oh and her wikipedia page if any one would care to add to it ???




View attachment 447375


2019 surfing thingy
she is second from right with her prison grab bag


even the beach shitters take the piss

even the Sun got it right
Being a man of very low standards, yes.
Rat up a drain pipe.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Stockport bodybuilder and all round hard man/rapper/legal genius
fell into the hole of a pond that was being dug when he was struck by the digger
of course being such a hard man instead of keeping out of the way he was probably telling them how to do the job
the mong then tries to sue for squillions
but stupidly his social media postings showed him up for the steriod taking small dicked knucklehead he really is
the costs are going to hurt !!


his instragram postings
some interesting comments



and one of his gangsta raps


 
Meanwhile at the cutting edge of Policing.

A flash and cloud of purple smoke in the cooridoors of Midtown Police Station.

'Ah, Inspector Bellend, how finds the day?'

'Good morning Super, great thank you I've just had some really good news.'

'I'm not a Super.'

'I know a Super, when I see one and I havent made Inspector by listening to people who try to correct me.

'No I'm really not.....Oh forget it. I just popped in to see how my last idea went?'

'Do you mean disbanding the burglary team as there were no burglaries occurring and sending them off to concentrate on adding to our Social media platforms? Fantastic, we've never been higher in the ratings.'

'Excellent and I understand that Section staff are now kept busy with many break ins that have started occuring.'

'I wouldn't know, its not the sort of thing I look at, making sure they keep their number of daily postings is what I'm concentrating on.'

'Good, good. So this excellent news?'

'There's been a bit of a revolution in the local Neighbourhood Watch and the pain in the arse ex JP who chaired it has been deposed. I've just been reading the email chain they copied me into and they had a right go at the fool on here. I'm just adding my own congratulations to them and letting them know what great news it is as the man is an utter chod.'

'Excellent, though I don't think you spell Cockwomble like that. And don't just reply to the sender, let the whole group know how pleased you are. There just pick up the existing distribution list and they can all learn of your delight.

A few days later.

RING! RING!

'Inspector Bellend. Oh hello ACC how nice to hear from you....'
'Oh dear yes I did.....'
'But I'm sure...oh! Friends with the Chief Constable...…….Blindsided in front of the PCC......had to apologise on behalf of the force.....Oh.
'Transferred 60 miles to Big Town nick....I see.....Rubber stamp custody Sergeants descisions.....until retirement you say.....well I did think I might stay o...…Oh I'm retiring next year now.......Errr. Well its been nice talking to you....Oh it hasnt.'

In the corridor outside an echo of MWAH HA HA!!! And the smell of sulphur.
 
Last edited:

Kirkz

LE
Meanwhile at the cutting edge of Policing.

A flash and cloud of purple smoke in the cooridoors of Midtown Police Station.

'Ah, Inspector Bellend, how finds the day?'

'Good morning Super, great thank you I've just had some really good news.'

'I'm not a Super.'

'I know a Super, when I see one and I havent made Inspector by listening to people who try to correct me.

'No I'm really not.....Oh forget it. I just popped in to see how my last idea went?'

'Do you mean disbanding the burglary team as there were no burglaries occurring and sending them off to concentrate on adding to our Social media platforms? Fantastic, we've never been higher in the ratings.'

'Excellent and I understand that Section staff are now kept busy with many break ins that have started occuring.'

'I wouldn't know, its not the sort of thing I look at, making sure they keep their number of daily postings is what I'm concentrating on.'

'Good, good. So this excellent news?'

'There's been a bit of a revolution in the local Neighbourhood Watch and the pain in the arse ex JP who chaired it has been deposed. I've just been reading the email chain they copied me into and they had a right go at the fool on here. I'm just adding my own congratulations to them and letting them know what great news it is as the man is an utter chod.'

'Excellent, though I don't think you spell Cockwomble like that. And don't just reply to the sender, let the whole group know how pleased you are. There just pick up the existing distribution list and they can all learn of your delight.

A few days later.

RING! RING!

'Inspector Bellend. Oh hello ACC how nice to hear from you....'
'Oh dear yes I did.....'
'But I'm sure...oh! Friends with the Chief Constable...…….Blindsided in front of the PCC......had to apologise on behalf of the force.....Oh.
'Transferred 60 miles to Big Town nick....I see.....Rubber stamp custody Sergeants descisions.....until retirement you say.....well I did think I might stay o...…Oh I'm retiring next year now.......Errr. Well its been nice talking to you....Oh it hasnt.'

In the corridor outside an echo of MWAH HA HA!!! And the smell of sulphur.
What the fuck is that all about?
 

Tool

LE
What the **** is that all about?
Bellend Inspector, under advice of the Purple Wonder, dissolves the local Burglary unit. Chef Constable's bessie gets burglarised, and Chief Constable needs to apologise as there's no-one to investigate the crime.

Purple Wonder exits stage left, Bellend Inspector is advised to take early retirement or be banished to Liverpool for eternity.
 
Bellend Inspector, under advice of the Purple Wonder, dissolves the local Burglary unit. Chef Constable's bessie gets burglarised, and Chief Constable needs to apologise as there's no-one to investigate the crime.

Purple Wonder exits stage left, Bellend Inspector is advised to take early retirement or be banished to Liverpool for eternity.
Isn't sending people to Liverpool outlawed under several Conventions as a Cruel and Unusual Punishment? In June we will be reversing one of the Emperor's splendid suggestions about which stations are open 24 hours following a spate of burglaries happening an hour after we clock off as the pond life know they have 15 minutes before cover arrives. It's not like anyone said 'err, this isn't going to work', oh hang on...
 
The Purple One visited my place of work this week. A junior member of staff had brought in some "herbal" biscuits to share with his mates.
The Emperor suggested to two of our less bright middle manager types that they should help themselves without bothering to ask first. The greedy sods took more than a reasonable share which resulted in the two boss people being totally out of their gourds for the last two days with many interesting hallucinations thrown in . Definite smell of sulphur in the air. Apparently I'm a really nasty person for finding the whole thing highly entertaining.
 
What the **** is that all about?
Fvck nose. When I first saw it I thought it was one Shake n Bake's inane outpourings
 

Kirkz

LE
Fvck nose. When I first saw it I thought it was one Shake n Bake's inane outpourings
That dullard tries too hard, is duller than my working boots were and has the charisma of a brick.
 
That dullard tries too hard, is duller than my working boots were and has the charisma of a brick.
I don't rate him that highly, to be honest.
 

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