The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

NSP

LE
Making one nozzle smaller than the other won't stop people putting the wrong fuel in as the smaller nozzle will still fit into the lager filler tube.
If they made them completely different shapes like oval, triangular or square then one would not fit into any other machine.
I think the premise is that they made the diesel nozzle bigger so that it wouldn't fit in a petrol filler neck because burning diesel in a petrol engine is far more catastrophic than vice versa - petrol in a diesel is a relatively easy fix. Burning diesel in a petrol engine gums up the plugs, valves and piston rings, as I recall it. You have to take the engine apart to clean off the residue and carbon build-up. In a diesel engine that's burned petrol it's more or less a case of draining the system, flushing through and then running some sort of turbo-nutter-bastard high strength Redex-like additive through the first tank of fresh diesel, or something. I might look it up in a minute if I can be arsed.
 

NSP

LE
When he told me, and after I'd stopped laughing, he confessed that he'd never fuelled a car before, and he thought you just held the nozzle to the neck and wondered why so much splashed onto the forecourt
It would be better to include fuelling, reading the dipstick and knowing what to do if it's low, checking and inflating the tyres and a turn around the skidpan in the driving test than demonstrating how to switch the bloody splatnav on, FFS.
 
Last edited:
I once had to fill up a hire car, and had know idea wether it was diesel or petrol.
I just went for it and the pump would,nt let me.
Bearing in mind I have about twenty years of mechanical experience behind me, I did feel bit stupid.
I blame the fact that I had a bad cold and the sniff test did fuck all.
I looked for any indication, but Nowt.
 
I think the Purple Robed one was instrumental in this one...Go on mate, just let rip with your Lefty Political bollocks. It will go down a storm.

 

Kirkz

LE
I think the Purple Robed one was instrumental in this one...Go on mate, just let rip with your Lefty Political bollocks. It will go down a storm.

From the article.

'But yesterday served as a timely reminder that disagreeing with someone doesn’t mean you have the right to abuse them verbally or physically.
So it's OK for piss kuntmar to call Brexit voters racists and thick but not OK for those people to tell him to fuck off.
 

Kirkz

LE

A flash of purple as he decides to strip his flat back to the bare walls so the council can redecorate for him in time for Christmas.
Whiny arsed cunt.
A mate of mine renovated a derelict house while living in one bedroom for 3 years and it was a lot worse than that, he never complained and neither did his Mrs.
 
Whiny arsed ****.
A mate of mine renovated a derelict house while living in one bedroom for 3 years and it was a lot worse than that, he never complained and neither did his Mrs.
Ex Brother in Law lived 18 months in a kitchen extension while renovating an 1850s terraced town house. airbed on the worktop and doss bag. First room he did up was the bog, he ended up making over £150,000 profit on it though.
 

Kirkz

LE
Ex Brother in Law lived 18 months in a kitchen extension while renovating an 1850s terraced town house. airbed on the worktop and doss bag. First room he did up was the bog, he ended up making over £150,000 profit on it though.
My mate did much the same, started with a two up two down that was OK to start with but he did it up and made a small profit then bought a bigger fixer upper and kept doing that until he eventually bought a large detached house with about two acres of land, that was the derelict one.
Him and his Mrs probably stand to make a few hundred grand off it when they sell.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
I once had to fill up a hire car, and had know idea wether it was diesel or petrol.
I just went for it and the pump would,nt let me.
Bearing in mind I have about twenty years of mechanical experience behind me, I did feel bit stupid.
I blame the fact that I had a bad cold and the sniff test did **** all.
I looked for any indication, but Nowt.
mines an ex cop car
it doesnt even have a fuel cap
on the basis that most coppers would break it or lose it
 

Latest Threads

Top