The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
The Emperor (PBUH) graced my mate with a visit on Saturday. It was my mate's first time in a sushi restaurant. EM told my mate that Wasabi was the Japanese equivalent of horseradish sauce and quite mild. My mate loves horseradish sauce and smeared a large chunk of wasabi on his first piece of sushi.

The result seemed to involved considerable pain, muffled exclamations of "f-ing hell" and watering eyes.

The only reason I can think of EM picking on my mate was that EM was at a loose end and keeping his hand in....

Wordsmith
 
The Emperor (PBUH) graced my mate with a visit on Saturday. It was my mate's first time in a sushi restaurant. EM told my mate that Wasabi was the Japanese equivalent of horseradish sauce and quite mild. My mate loves horseradish sauce and smeared a large chunk of wasabi on his first piece of sushi.

The result seemed to involved considerable pain, muffled exclamations of "f-ing hell" and watering eyes.

The only reason I can think of EM picking on my mate was that EM was at a loose end and keeping his hand in....

Wordsmith
Are you, or have you ever pretended to be, the Emperor Mong?
 
Seems EM's tour of the back blocks is continuing, but has hopped across the Pacific.

EM - "Go on mate, run down a bunch of protected wildlife while filming your hilarious jape, then post it on-line and make sure you have a good clear shot of your angelic face so your chums will know it's you. What could possibly go wrong; you'll be a legend (or at least something else ending in 'end')."

'The man charged with mowing down a mob of emus in his car while laughing maniacally, then sharing the sickening footage with his friends, says it was “funny at the time”.

'In an interview with Seven News, MacDonald said his horrific actions were “funny at the time” and that the footage was only meant for his mates. “Yeah someone’s obviously not as good of a mate as I thought,” he told Seven News outside court.'


Jacob MacDonald filmed himself laughing and mowing down a mob of emus in his car.Source:Supplied
Meanwhile. some cretin has killed 10 sheep in a similar manner here in the UK:

Ten sheep were killed when a vehicle drove through an electric fence into a field and hit the animals "as if they were playing skittles", a farmer said.

The sheep were hit at some point between 16:00 BST on Saturday and 08:00 BST on Sunday at a farm on Twenty Pence Road in Wilburton, Cambridgeshire.

The farmer, who does not wish to be identified, said that the dead sheep were "scattered" across the four-acre plot of land in between live sheep.
 
The Emperor (PBUH) graced my mate with a visit on Saturday. It was my mate's first time in a sushi restaurant. EM told my mate that Wasabi was the Japanese equivalent of horseradish sauce and quite mild. My mate loves horseradish sauce and smeared a large chunk of wasabi on his first piece of sushi.

The result seemed to involved considerable pain, muffled exclamations of "f-ing hell" and watering eyes.

The only reason I can think of EM picking on my mate was that EM was at a loose end and keeping his hand in....

Wordsmith
I - briefly- had a Japanese girlfriend in the 1980s who took me to try sashimi for the first time. She pretended to be impressed with my chopstick drills and I was enjoying the scoff.

Unfortunately, while she was distracted at one point I thought I'd try the little green oxo cube on one side of the plate. Being dead smug at my ability to pick up the whole thing in one go, I scoffed it right down...

Wasabi does smell of sulphur...
 
The Emperor paid me a visit last week.
This was the true Emp, as detailed by@Brandt, the OP.
I was cleaning out the gutters on the roof of our house.
I had almost finished, just one last section to go. I positioned the ladders at the start of the last bit, and started to go up, carrying the water hose. Just as I put my weight on the first rung, I heard the voice of caution say quite clearly "the angle of the ladder is too flat, and the feet are half off the path. It's not safe."
The of course the Emp (PBUH) arrived.
EM: "G'day KD, watcha doin?"
KD: "Oh, not you again, bugger off." "I'm going to get the other set of ladders, they'll be much safer"
EM: "That's right KD, you just waste 10 minutes doing that, which means you'll miss that cuppa char that you're gasping for. "These ladders are perfectly safe, go ahead, get the job finished" "You know it makes sense"
KD: "You know, for once you're right" "I'll crack on"


As I lay sprawled on the path, arms and fingers tingling from the shock of the 2 metre fall, I believe I heard mocking laughter dwindling into the distance. I couldn't really see anything, cause my glasses had vanished into the ulu, but I bet there was some purple smoke about. My watch was in 4 pieces, the back of my head ached, I was really dizzy and the base of my spine was starting to swell up.

After a week, my left hip still aches, it hurts to sit or stand, and I get dizzy if I move my head too quickly.

But that doesn't worry me.

What worries me is that my dicky right shoulder fells absolutely great. No more pain or weakness.
Any improvement would not have been the intent of the Emp.

I dread his next visit, as I've just joined a Manzhed group, and they've got some lovely big power tools.
 
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