The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

The Emperor: "You've got your dream job as an intern at NASA. Why not crow about it online and mouth off to anyone complaining about your language"

View attachment 347384

EM: "Well, now you've got a lot more time to spend on social media now that you lost your internship!"

Thoughts From Homer Hickam at Skyridge: Social Media
Sounds very similar to a recent situation I found myself in. Clearly His Eminence was up on the scaffolding truck advising his minion:-

Me: "Sorry but this is private land and contractors for the building site nextdoor are explicitly barred from crossing our boundary, as was communicated to the principal contractor back in January when work started. You are trespassing and must remove yourselves, your vehicle and your equipment from this land straight away."

Scaffolder: "Yeah well - we've got permission to be here.

Me: "No, you haven't."

Scaffolder: "Yes, we do - the woman over the road said it was okay so do one, alright."

Me: "It is not in her gift to give you permission. This land belongs to a resident's management company, not the lady over the road who isn't a resident and thus not a member of the company."

Scaffolder: "So? We've permission to be here."

Me: "No, you haven't. There's only one person who can give you permission - the director of the management company - and I can assure you that no permission has been or will be granted. You need to leave immediately."

Scaffolder: "So what? Who the fuck are you, anyway?"

Me: "I'm the director of the management company."

Pregnant pause.

Scaffolder: "Oh, right... Anyway, fuck off big nose." (Refuse to leave, keep on working and blocking our yard with their lorry)

In the very, very, very near future:-

Scaffolder's boss: "Would you two dipshits please explain to me why the solicitor for this resident's management company has written to explain to me that I'm being sued for trespass and financial redress to repair the damage caused to their tarmac and fence when you dis-erected that scaffolding we had up on the adjoining construction site a few weeks ago. No, you may not have coffee. Or biscuits. In fact, remain standing, FFS."
 
Sounds very similar to a recent situation I found myself in. Clearly His Eminence was up on the scaffolding truck advising his minion:-

Me: "Sorry but this is private land and contractors for the building site nextdoor are explicitly barred from crossing our boundary, as was communicated to the principal contractor back in January when work started. You are trespassing and must remove yourselves, your vehicle and your equipment from this land straight away."

Scaffolder: "Yeah well - we've got permission to be here.

Me: "No, you haven't."

Scaffolder: "Yes, we do - the woman over the road said it was okay so do one, alright."

Me: "It is not in her gift to give you permission. This land belongs to a resident's management company, not the lady over the road who isn't a resident and thus not a member of the company."

Scaffolder: "So? We've permission to be here."

Me: "No, you haven't. There's only one person who can give you permission - the director of the management company - and I can assure you that no permission has been or will be granted. You need to leave immediately."

Scaffolder: "So what? Who the fuck are you, anyway?"

Me: "I'm the director of the management company."

Pregnant pause.

Scaffolder: "Oh, right... Anyway, fuck off big nose." (Refuse to leave, keep on working and blocking our yard with their lorry)

In the very, very, very near future:-

Scaffolder's boss: "Would you two dipshits please explain to me why the solicitor for this resident's management company has written to explain to me that I'm being sued for trespass and financial redress to repair the damage caused to their tarmac and fence when you dis-erected that scaffolding we had up on the adjoining construction site a few weeks ago. No, you may not have coffee. Or biscuits. In fact, remain standing, FFS."
One word.

Sweet.
 
I'd love to be a fly on the wall at that meeting, just to see the look on those two clowns faces. It sure as hell won't be the smug one they were both wearing when they finally deigned to git orf moi laaaand.
 
I'd love to be a fly on the wall at that meeting, just to see the look on those two clowns faces. It sure as hell won't be the smug one they were both wearing when they finally deigned to git orf moi laaaand.
I'd have thought a verbal apology by them, in the presence of their boss as he hands you the cheque would be about right. Don't forget to go for extra wad for all the distress and anguish caused.
 
I'd have thought a verbal apology by them, in the presence of their boss as he hands you the cheque would be about right. Don't forget to go for extra wad for all the distress and anguish caused.
The instructions to the solicitor were that his communication should be worded in sufficiently strong terms as to cause the colour to have drained from the recipients face by the second paragraph.
 
The instructions to the solicitor were that his communication should be worded in sufficiently strong terms as to cause the colour to have drained from the recipients face by the second paragraph.
Oooo, you're a nasty cunt. Well done :salut:
 

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