The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

It's always amusing to ask JWs about why they're still bothering people's doorsteps and not all off in their spaceship thing whilst the rest of us lie smited to death, as their end of days was supposed to be in the late nineties. I gather that they've cunningly changed it to "it's imminent" without putting a timestamp on it.

Then again, the nutters believe that heaven was formed in 1914 (presumably in anticipation of all the souls about to be sent off in the first great shoeing), so...
There was a lad at Junior school who was a JW. He reckoned the Earth would end, as I recall, in 1966.

When it didn't, he didn't get a shoeing. Oh my, no, definitely not a shoeing. The gormless fuckwit.
 
It's always amusing to ask JWs about why they're still bothering people's doorsteps and not all off in their spaceship thing whilst the rest of us lie smited to death, as their end of days was supposed to be in the late nineties. I gather that they've cunningly changed it to "it's imminent" without putting a timestamp on it.

Then again, the nutters believe that heaven was formed in 1914 (presumably in anticipation of all the souls about to be sent off in the first great shoeing), so...
It's always amusing to ask JWs about why they're still bothering people's doorsteps and not all off in their spaceship thing whilst the rest of us lie smited to death, as their end of days was supposed to be in the late nineties. I gather that they've cunningly changed it to "it's imminent" without putting a timestamp on it.

Then again, the nutters believe that heaven was formed in 1914 (presumably in anticipation of all the souls about to be sent off in the first great shoeing), so...
Do you get many JW doorstepping you whilst bobbing about in the oggy ?.
 
It's always amusing to ask JWs about why they're still bothering people's doorsteps and not all off in their spaceship thing whilst the rest of us lie smited to death, as their end of days was supposed to be in the late nineties. I gather that they've cunningly changed it to "it's imminent" without putting a timestamp on it.

Then again, the nutters believe that heaven was formed in 1914 (presumably in anticipation of all the souls about to be sent off in the first great shoeing), so...

About 40 years ago, when I was in Plumbers College, we had a humourless bugger called Les...... a JW.

While we sat around, discussing wether anal was better than a long slow BJ, at brew- time, he'd be underlining passages in his bible.

"Fuck me" I once said, "I bet you're banned from your local library....."
 
I've been "watchtowered" on a narrow boat before. It was thrust through the open bog window while I was dropping Mr Brown off at the seaside. I made thorough use of it.
We live 2km down a dirt track, then another 200m up another dirt track. We are the only house and have a mailbox that has been used twice - once a friend telling us they were in the area, the other..... Jovies! They left us a Spanish copy of The Watchtower. Our house has a plaque on the wall - Vista Atalaya.



That translates as 'View of the Watchtower'! Spooky or what?! But 10 out of 10 for persistence.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
We had fun trying to find my dad's car when he had his fatal heart attack dancing with a lady who was not his wife!
The Gay Gordons will get you every time! All that hooching and heeching.
 
I suspect EM was behind this store's attempt to put a "profanity filter" on their online cake icing service...

The Publix grocery store chain offers two customizable cakes for graduates, including a sheet cake that is decorated with a small cap, tiny diploma and a tasteful assortment of piped icing flowers. Its website allows its customers to type a special message to be written on each dessert—but it automatically flags any profanity, like the most common expletives, slang terms for various body parts… and, apparently, the Latin phrase that means “with highest honors.”

Great News: Publix Will Now Frost Your Cakes with 'Cum'
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
We had fun trying to find my dad's car when he had his fatal heart attack dancing with a lady who was not his wife!
Apparently Kylie's latest song, whose lyrics are basically, "When I go out, I wanna go out dancing," isn't about what to do on a Saturday night, but how to expire.

Sorry, TV was on the other night celebrating her 50th year. That bit stuck.
 
We had fun trying to find my dad's car when he had his fatal heart attack dancing with a lady who was not his wife!
Was it horizontal nuddy dancing?
 
It's always amusing to ask JWs about why they're still bothering people's doorsteps and not all off in their spaceship thing whilst the rest of us lie smited to death, as their end of days was supposed to be in the late nineties. I gather that they've cunningly changed it to "it's imminent" without putting a timestamp on it.

Then again, the nutters believe that heaven was formed in 1914 (presumably in anticipation of all the souls about to be sent off in the first great shoeing), so...
I knew an engineer who was a JW. Good bloke with a surprising sense of humour. He never bothered me about God. If I recall correctly, Watchtower artwork depicts Jesus as having curly rather than long hair, a beard and a tan skin colour. Seems more realistic than a white skinned bloke with long straight hair and no beard. Their strand of the Christian religion makes no more sense to me than the others however.
The EM certainly managed to convince plenty of seasick prone blokes to go on boats, where they would call "Oh God, I feel sick" and pray for a speedy return to land :lol:
 
Do you get many JW doorstepping you whilst bobbing about in the oggy ?.
The JW's called at our door one day some years back. Apparently two men in suits knocking on the door of the house where one of the adults is away in sandy parts on Ops is not a very good idea. Mrs Devex - who is NEVER sort of a witty riposte (as The Emperor and I know only too well) - informed them of this fact in no uncertain terms. She tells me that she informed them exactly where they could put their holy books. I had to go and look up some of the anatomical references she used. She also told me that she did in fact tell them to "Fuuck Off" - which in 25 years of marriage I have never heard her say!


edited to add - I imagine it sounded a bit like this

 
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