The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

The police say "They have the right to demonstrate".

They will probably be outnumbered by Monarchy supporters who might take the opportunity to give the antis a kicking which will rather spoil the day for some.
When Prince William went to Quebec the republicans rocked up to make their voice heard, they looked so sad that they numbered about 300 while 30000 quasi-frogs turned out to support the Royals.


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
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Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Always read what you are going to post before clicking on the 'post reply' button to avoid the grammar police charging you with desecration of the Queen's English.
The quote function is a handy tool too as it stops you looking like a lonely saddo talking to an imaginary friend.
The Purple Clad Dealer of Chaos and Mayhem has been busy round our way, planning for Friday last.

1 [some weeks ago] Hey, owner of the well known entertainment establishment, time for another 'Youth Event' - you'll only need 4 door staff and an ineffective ID system, the over 18s can drink and no one will buck the system, nor will anyone be dealing drugs.

2 [come Friday-to Scrote 1] Ah, my young thruster - ignore the fact that the place is crawling with police, in fact use this to your advantage and start gobbing off about The Fuuking Feds. No you do not need to heed their warnings for they will not dare grab you, throw you to the floor in best Life of Brian style and cuff you for D & D - oh, they did...sorry Chum (it was a belter of a takedown even if I do say so myself)

3. [to Scrote 2] Quick, thy brother is being persecuted by the forces of Fascism - give that copper an almighty shove - he's not very big - ah, sorry, he's bigger than I thought and he has his mate with him who is a bit hard - what is this Assault Police thing he's arrested you for anyway? Must dash, I've got a real pearler coming up.

4. [to Scrotette 1] Look, they are locking up your mates - see that big copper, well i know him, he's called Devex and despite you being only 15 and him being a foot and a bit taller then you and twice the body mass I think it would be great if you attack him from behind - I will give you super human powers so only him and three colleagues will jump on you and take you to ground and cuffed to the rear. Look - your mum is here and the nice police lady is saying that if you calm down and go with her that'll be the end of it. Here's what I want you to do - ignore her and when they lift you up and take the ankle strap off, kick Dev in the shins, deadleg him and for good measure give him two swift kicks to the gonads - your entire future will not suffer from having an Assault Police arrest on your record at all......

Apparently the last word was had by our Sergeant to the manager "Probably time to close now, don't you think?" and close they did, accompanied by the sound of retreating sirens as we bluelighted our way to custody, though they didn't quite manage to mask the sound of The Emperor giggling as he went on his way [he was out on saturday but I managed a cunning wheeze to stay out of town].
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His Purpleness has clearly been retained by our Sales Team. One of the law firms "advising" on particularly shitty bits of business possibly have a commission arrangement with him.

Small matter of agreeing to send huge amounts of kit to somewhere that requires many, many bits of official paper and blessings. So painful meeting yesterday.

"Yes, we did fully consider that as part of it our (very expensive) advice of last week and are confident that ultimately a satisfactory position can be reached."

"Excellent. Well just drop us a revised opinion actually saying that and we are good to go! Just get it to us by 17.00 Friday"

"Errr ahhh well we will need to get some input from a leading QC and then based on that a careful approach will be required to the Ministry of Infinite Obfuscation and Delay which may take some time....."

Darkness was upon the face of the senior Sales being. His minion looked like he wanted to throw up.

They had of course fully recorded this vast triumph in their Q1 sales figures.

Distant laughter was heard

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