The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
Aaaand, they've cancelled Saturday Night Takeaway. Selfish bastard.

I wonder what will happen to all those people who've won "A place on the plane" to go to Florida?
They'd better not cancel the Monday Night Takeaway I just ordered for Zero Alpha's birthday. My life wouldn't be worth living.

Ant and Dec? Meh.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
No f*cking sympathy whatsoever.
Aw, have a heart. The man is only worth £60m and he is pissed, stuck in SW1 (where the taxi's are on strike) with his Mum in the car..... I'll say it again.... WITH HIS MUM IN THE CAR... and he puts the motor head-on into a Mini with a couple and their sprog in it.

I may not get to sleep tonight worrying about the poor misunderstood boy.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
Aw, have a heart. The man is only worth £60m and he is pissed, stuck in SW1 (where the taxi's are on strike) with his Mum in the car..... I'll say it again.... WITH HIS MUM IN THE CAR... and he puts the motor head-on into a Mini with a couple and their sprog in it.

I may not get to sleep tonight worrying about the poor misunderstood boy.
I just posted this elsewhere.

I put Ant and Dec on the telly in 1999. We beat Newcastle 2-1 (again) and on local radio, Simon Crabtree ranted, "Ant and Dec, Sting, Bobby Robson, Alan She-Ra, Robson Green, Tony Blair, can you hear me Tony Blair? Your boys took one hellofa beating." I sent it to Soccer AM who put it to the video of the final whistle. The fans of the week were Geordies. Carnage. Death threats against Crabtree.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
I put Ant and Dec on the telly in 1999. We beat Newcastle 2-1
Ah, 1999. Ricky Martin was in the charts with Livin' la Vida Loca. It was pure monkey shite.

Speaking of which, Are you looking forward to next season? Scunthorpe has three Greggs. Your best bet from the ground is 33 High St, Scunthorpe DN15 6SB. Get a Sunderland Dummy (sausage roll for our southern viewers) for the bairn and a couple of dozen doughnuts for your lass to keep her going in case Albatross Bus & Coach Hire (Easington) clap out on the way back up the A19.

Sunderland AFC management. "We shall build a 49,000 seat stadium and show the Mags. We shall call it "The Stadium of Light". Because it is a stadium. And light shines into it. Soon we shall play in Europe".

The Emperor Mong. "Nah, sorry. Monkeys are beneath my notice".



 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
There's the 'I probably had a pint more than was safe' and then there's this.

News Headlines | Today's UK & World News | Daily Mail Online
His Mam calls herself a Geordie as she scuttles off out the back door?

Mine would have nutted the pointy-finger git, bricked a shop window then screamed her head off allowing me to exit stage left then turn up 48 hours later to declare it had all been a misunderstanding. You just cant get the Geordie Mams these days.
 
When did PJ get his sight back... It's no wonder he crashed you heartless cuñtss he canny fookin' see divan ya know!
 
When did PJ get his sight back... It's no wonder he crashed you heartless cuñtss he canny fookin' see divan ya know!
If it was the other way round, it'd be PJ and Drunken.

(@Katy )
 

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