The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
This is a long one. Sorry.

I am starting to think that all you dammed Englishmen are right about fruit being a Scottish person's version of Kryptonite, as eating peaches (whole, fresh, and juicy, from Aldi - seventy nine of your English pence for a punnet of four if I remember correctly) cost me my one remaining fangy tooth, as my left-side canine failed to survive munching on the fourth of four peaches I chose to scoff on Tuesday night. It had already been root-canalled, filled (twice) and shaped down, so I shouldn't have been surprised when on encountering the fourth peach pit in about twenty minutes it decided to snap at the gumline, but I was anyway. What followed was a multi-agency tasking from His Magnificent Purple Eminence Himself as I decided to consult NHS 24 via the means of a phone call. (What really helped Him was that it had happened so late that there were no, repeat no, out-of-hours dental clinicians available for the entirety of my chunk of the Greater Glasgow and Clyde Health Board area of operation as this was a factor in what happened next...)

When I phoned up, after chatting to the triage nurse on reception, I was referred after a while to the NHS dental nurse who was dealing with toothy-related problems, and to be fair she did tell me that nobody in her trade was available that time of the night, but she did refer me to the Southern General Hospital's (I know the establishment has a new name to go with a massive amount of new buildings on the site but no-one I know uses the name - it's either what I just called it or the "Death Star") A and E department.

She assured me that it was the correct protocol for my particular situation - as the tooth didn't snap completely off and come away, I was afraid that the fang would do it whilst I was rolling about on my bed while asleep - and I would choke on it and die, and this information from me forced her to open another checklist.

There being a nice handy A and E department in a local hospital for local people that's in very easy hobbling distance from my humble abode made no difference, it was the Southern General or nothing. She advised me that the details of my case would get faxed over to the Southern and that was that. As it was a pleasant evening, and I am a tight arse of long-standing, I decided that it would be an idea to walk to the place rather than get bent over a chair and shafted by a taxi driver. Purple smoke went off in the background but I ignored it.

(I have a bike, but I make a point of not riding it if I have any sort of head injury as disorientation caused by that sort of thing would have me under a bus or a car in pretty short order, and I call a broken tooth a head injury as my what's left of my teeth are in my head.)

So I charged up my phone, filled an empty two-litre bottle of Tango Berry up with fresh water, packed a couple of sets of clean under clothing and toddled off. It took a couple of hours to cover the just over six miles distance, which was fine as I was not pissing out blood from my oral orifice, and as said before, it was a pleasant evening.

Things started to unravel completely on arrival at the Southern. Every nurse I talked to, and there were three of them, including two triage nurses, expressed great surprise that the NHS 24 dental lady had sent me to their establishment when there was a local hospital for local people that was in very easy hobbling distance from me as I said earlier, but all I could tell them was that I had been advised by the NHS dental lady that it was the protocol that I had to follow and they were it as far as I was told. This worked for the two triage nurses after some fast talking on my part, and so after speaking to the second one, after I had been there long enough that it was now two in the morning, I was set fair for a six hour wait.

Two hours later...

Enter stage right the Charge Nurse (who as far as I am concerned had His Magnificent Purple Eminence the Emperor Mong on speed-dial as her customer service advisor advisor) who was on duty...

"I don't know why you are here" - which she'd have known if she had bothered listening to the two triage nurses who I had talked to previously. "We can do nothing for you as there are no dental clinicians available" - which I had already been informed of by the NHS 24 dental lady on the phone call - even so, it wouldn't have taken a dentist to administer a local anaesthetic and just snap the broken tooth off twixt thumb and fore-finger as a running repair until I could see my fang farrier on the following day, as that's what the said fang farrier did exactly do when I did attend my emergency appointment. "You should have gone to your local hospital" - asked and answered by me previously. Twice. "Here's some paperwork" - which I couldn't be bothered reading as it was four in the morning by this point and I was torn between falling asleep on my feet and shouting at her for seemingly being pleased to be of no help whatsoever, which would have been pointless and probably involved angry confrontations with the local constabulary. "Go to your dentist in the morning" - in other words "the protocol that you've been told about on the phone befucked, what I say goes, I'm the Charge Nurse, and you go home now, you're not my problem".

I know nurses are busy, so are doctors, porters, and the like, but if I had talked in that tone of voice to a client when I was working, you know, that sneering "I'm right, you're wrong and **** off!" tone, I'd have been out on my arse a lot quicker than I was.

Still, I did get a lot of miles of walking done, with over the day having amassed about 18 Km, 157 Heart Points (the weekly target you are supposed to go for is 150), and over 24 thousand steps. To be honest, I didn't think numbers went that high.


Definitely a wait to morning case.
 

TamH70

MIA
As did the hospital nursing staff!
Yup, but the NHS 24 dental lady didn't seem to, and l made the mistake of thinking that she knew of what she was speaking.

Hence the tale of woe being in this particular thread.
 
Slightly off the EM topic, but I had a strange one the other night.

Cross country drive late at night, driving at speed limit plus 5, main road with plenty of places to overtake. Tw@t behind, not too close, not tailgating but lights on full beam. Dipped them when a car came the other way then back on full - so obviously deliberate. This went on for a few miles then I pulled over and tw@t passed at normal speed, not booting it.

I hung back and let him get well ahead, but half expected a "road-block" situation further on. Certainly didn't want an altercation with someone who could be full of drugs or carrying a knife. Very strange, I can imagine the effect this would have on a "lone female".
People just not thinking what it's like to have someone do that to them, I suppose. If someone does that to me, I put my rear fog-light on: if they dip their lights then the fog-light goes off. Some folks realise and adjust their behaviour, others don't.

Gah!
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Yup, but the NHS 24 dental lady didn't seem to, and l made the mistake of thinking that she knew of what she was speaking.

Hence the tale of woe being in this particular thread.

Management of acute dental problems.

here's the algorithm that she should have been working from.

Nowhere does it say, send the casualty with a broken tooth to A&E where there will be no dentist!

She definitely went off script and started paying heed to His Eminence instead.
 
People just not thinking what it's like to have someone do that to them, I suppose. If someone does that to me, I put my rear fog-light on: if they dip their lights then the fog-light goes off. Some folks realise and adjust their behaviour, others don't.

Gah!
Even though I've ranted in the past about the complexity of cars getting worse in the modern age, there's one bit of electronics I love in my car, that's the auto dimming rear view mirror. Someone shines a bright light at it, it'll start dimming it down.

The two side mirrors don't point backwards, so they're not affected. They're angled in such a way that the corners of the rear view mirror just overlap with the coverage of the inside of the side mirror. I've got about 140 degrees coverage from the mirrors, and only have to slightly turn my head rather than look right over my shoulder.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
I sincerely hope you keep it in an airtight container, lest the sweat of 50 thousand Luanda taxi drivers underpant sweaty boIIocks filth, will infest your kitchen.
I spent most of my time in Lobito. I spent more time travelling to and from Luanda than I spent in that particular town/city/compost heap
 
Yup, but the NHS 24 dental lady didn't seem to, and l made the mistake of thinking that she knew of what she was speaking.

Hence the tale of woe being in this particular thread.
This alleged NHS Dental Lady, dressed in purple, bit of an odd perfume with a funny smell, poncho that looked a bit cape like, ....... just asking like...
 

TamH70

MIA
This alleged NHS Dental Lady, dressed in purple, bit of an odd perfume with a funny smell, poncho that looked a bit cape like, ....... just asking like...
That may or may not have been her evening attire, but as I only talked to her on the phone, l can neither confirm or deny it.
 
Some time ago I bought a Sea Kayak - I am a fairly competent kayaker but not that good. Every time I have tried to get out on it the weather is against me - like last weekend when the remnants of a hurricane battered Anglesey (although I had a lovely time with a female friend and her adorable dog on the island instead).

So on Tuesday the sun is shining, lots of flexi built up so I finish up early and head out after quickly throwing everything in the car and go to get a couple of hours on the canal - not the sea but a nice pub at the turn round point will make up for that.

Get to my ‘in’ - and remember that my paddles are still sat on my balcony.

I didn’t smell any purple smoke at any point but he must have been giggling at me none the less.
 
Shay and Deon-Dre don't appear to have a full deck between them.

But then nor does the Criminal Justice system


"Andrew Holmes agreed to defer the sentencing hearing for six months after seeing glowing reports on both defendants.

“You have a golden opportunity now to turn your lives around,” he said.

Both had committed further crimes after the crown court raid but are now said to be making “exceptional” progress."
Perhaps the judge has more common sense than we give him credit for. 6 months is plenty of time for the scrote bags to carry on their habitual (and inept) criminal habits, get caught and thus prove that they have no intent of reform.

“Send then down…”
 
Slightly off the EM topic, but I had a strange one the other night.

Cross country drive late at night, driving at speed limit plus 5, main road with plenty of places to overtake. Tw@t behind, not too close, not tailgating but lights on full beam. Dipped them when a car came the other way then back on full - so obviously deliberate. This went on for a few miles then I pulled over and tw@t passed at normal speed, not booting it.

I hung back and let him get well ahead, but half expected a "road-block" situation further on. Certainly didn't want an altercation with someone who could be full of drugs or carrying a knife. Very strange, I can imagine the effect this would have on a "lone female".
And that Your Honour is why I have a can of (legal here) CS gas in my car!




And one by the front and rear doors of the house.
 

Syledis

War Hero
And that Your Honour is why I have a can of (legal here) CS gas in my car!




And one by the front and rear doors of the house.
Is it legal to own things like pepper spray in the uk.
I keep a small baseball bat in the boot of my car and half a dozen tennis balls for when i go to the beach park with her dog.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Is it legal to own things like pepper spray in the uk.


nope

I have a three D cell Maglite in the car door, purely for emergency use/finding the dog etc.
I may have, on occasion, persuaded slightly inebriated persons to 'go away' while holding it.
Some of them may have woken up with the odd bruise they can't account for, but they were slightly inebriated at the time.
 
nope

I have a three D cell Maglite in the car door, purely for emergency use/finding the dog etc.
I may have, on occasion, persuaded slightly inebriated persons to 'go away' while holding it.
Some of them may have woken up with the odd bruise they can't account for, but they were slightly inebriated at the time.
This.

I have a very bright LED torch in the car door and a 4 Cell monster LED torch by the bedside cabinet.
I could either blind or brain someone easily with either.
 

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