The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

[Richard Headicus]

In charge was a wee Glasgow guy judging by his accent and he was shouting and screaming like an idiot.

Goes with the territory.

Emperor said to my and another Nav from Glasgow, ex raf radar tech " go on, he will never know its us give him abuse"
Cue us for next 5 mins saying things like.. hay fannybaws, your a pie, or, your dad sells avon, etc.
He went full tonto, asking who we were etc for ages. We didnt expect him to go to his OIM, and for him to contact our ship as we were closest at the time.
Our argument that it wasnt us , was hampered slightly by the fact we were the only Jocks on the ship..

Should have used Doric, or West Highland accent! A bit hard to disguise the Weegie wan.

Punishment, Gangway watch during Galveston Mardi gras

Remember the 11th!

 

[Issi]

Fortunate his driving did not harm other road users.

I’m nominating myself for getting caught up in a driving incident earlier.

I’d just picked my son up from work, and was driving through a 20 zone by a school when a bloke came towards me on a big bike, doing probably 60ish and blipping his throttle like feck, to make a hell of a noise.

I foolishly made a wenkar sign at him, and of course he immediately turned around and chased me to the next set of lights.

Cue a fair bit of shouting and posturing before he drove off, leaving me a bit shaky to be honest, as he was a big old unit.

Anyway, lesson learned for me to keep my opinion to myself from now on.

 

[TamH70]

I’m nominating myself for getting caught up in a driving incident earlier.

I’d just picked my son up from work, and was driving through a 20 zone by a school when a bloke came towards me on a big bike, doing probably 60ish and blipping his throttle like feck, to make a hell of a noise.

I foolishly made a wenkar sign at him, and of course he immediately turned around and chased me to the next set of lights.

Cue a fair bit of shouting and posturing before he drove off, leaving me a bit shaky to be honest, as he was a big old unit.

Anyway, lesson learned for me to keep my opinion to myself from now on.

Get some thumbtacks for the next time?

 

[Joshua Slocum]

I’m nominating myself for getting caught up in a driving incident earlier.

I’d just picked my son up from work, and was driving through a 20 zone by a school when a bloke came towards me on a big bike, doing probably 60ish and blipping his throttle like feck, to make a hell of a noise.

I foolishly made a wenkar sign at him, and of course he immediately turned around and chased me to the next set of lights.

Cue a fair bit of shouting and posturing before he drove off, leaving me a bit shaky to be honest, as he was a big old unit.

Anyway, lesson learned for me to keep my opinion to myself from now on.

slam the brake son hard, that usually sorts it out

 

[solomon88]

I’m nominating myself for getting caught up in a driving incident earlier.

I’d just picked my son up from work, and was driving through a 20 zone by a school when a bloke came towards me on a big bike, doing probably 60ish and blipping his throttle like feck, to make a hell of a noise.

I foolishly made a wenkar sign at him, and of course he immediately turned around and chased me to the next set of lights.

Cue a fair bit of shouting and posturing before he drove off, leaving me a bit shaky to be honest, as he was a big old unit.

Anyway, lesson learned for me to keep my opinion to myself from now on.

Slightly off the EM topic, but I had a strange one the other night.

Cross country drive late at night, driving at speed limit plus 5, main road with plenty of places to overtake. Tw@t behind, not too close, not tailgating but lights on full beam. Dipped them when a car came the other way then back on full - so obviously deliberate. This went on for a few miles then I pulled over and tw@t passed at normal speed, not booting it.

I hung back and let him get well ahead, but half expected a "road-block" situation further on. Certainly didn't want an altercation with someone who could be full of drugs or carrying a knife. Very strange, I can imagine the effect this would have on a "lone female".

 

[Teeblerone]

.. and now EM is plotting with me to see what quotes I can sneak into the (teams) interview on Monday afternoon.

'My mule, he don't think it's nice, you laughing'
'Duck , you suckers'
'C'mon every beatbox''
'Don't heed the callup..I wanna see the wheatfields / from Kiev down to the sea' (might get that one in as current affairs).
Bonne chance, mes grande chouffleur! On y va!
Etc.

 

[scoldog]

I believe the Emperor (PBUH) was in Maine over the weekend:

Insurance Agency Posts Racist AF Juneteenth Sign. Progressive Severs Ties.

“There is no place in the Town of Millinocket for such a blatant disregard of human decency," an official of the Maine town wrote.

www.huffpost.com

Well, time to write another book and start making a series

 

[Teeblerone]

"Zulus ... faarsends of 'em"?

'Don't you..chuck them spears...at me!'

 

[solomon88]

'Don't you..chuck them spears...at me!'

D of E Walt.

 

[Northern_Biff]

Well, time to write another book

View attachment 672473

"What the Hell Is Kwanza"

A: A currency I hope to never have to fcvk around with until I kark it!
Fecking Angola.

 

[Teeblerone]

"Plop in pants! Plop in pants!
Eeeeeverybody doody Plop In pants DANCE!"

 

[Teeblerone]

D of E Walt.

Have an excellent to go with the funny.
Also, a small invoice for the 'involuntarily expelled' beer

 

[Northern_Biff]

"Plop in pants! Plop in pants!
Eeeeeverybody doody Plop In pants DANCE!"

You OK hun?

 

[NSP]

You OK hun?

I think he might have sharted.

 

[theoriginalphantom]

"What the Hell Is Kwanza"

A: A currency I hope to never have to fcvk around with until I kark it!
Fecking Angola.

I have a few old ones knocking about

 

[Teeblerone]

No wonder he didn't attend in Ormskirk....

Probably never heard of the place..

Ormskirk has a high level of 18-24 year olds. In the 2011 census, the ethnicity of residents was almost entirely White, at 98.1%. The census reflected very small numbers of residents with other ethnicities: Asian / Asian British at 0.8%; Black / Black Asian at 0.2%; Mixed Race at 0.2% and Other at 0.1%.

That's including The Yoof at Edge Hill University (where oddly enough that bint that gobbed off at Lawrence Fox on Newsnight resides)

Scousers and Skemmers aplenty, but 'ethnics.

As rare a sight as a Senior Police Officer..

Must've had a golf day booked or summat.

Was there once. Passable pint of mild (with about 2 million eyes watching) . Knew a bloke from there. Wattasnake!
Evidently, ScratterTown

 

[Northern_Biff]

I have a few old ones knocking about

I sincerely hope you keep it in an airtight container, lest the sweat of 50 thousand Luanda taxi drivers underpant sweaty boIIocks filth, will infest your kitchen.

 

[Northern_Biff]

Was there once. Passable pint of mild (with about 2 million eyes watching) . Knew a bloke from there. Wattasnake!
Evidently, ScratterTown

Have you thought of alcohol as alternative to meth's?

 

[Teeblerone]

.. and now EM is plotting with me to see what quotes I can sneak into the (teams) interview on Monday afternoon.

Why should we employ you, M'sieu le Toppers, apart from the FABulous inflatable corniyoon outfit.
That one's ruined my career more than once

 

[Richard Headicus]

slam the brake son hard, that usually sorts it out

Your son doesn't know how to perform an emergency stop?















And the Emperor joins us!