The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

[NSP]

why do mongs always drop the phone/camera just as you get to the interesting bit?

I don't think he did. The space just filled with thick black smoke rather quickly.

 

[kiwidoug]

The Emperor: "Who said you can't cook with petrol?"

 

[Joshua Slocum]

christ, he had a hard paper round

Police Appeal For Missing '16-Year-Old' Causes Widespread Confusion On Social Media

People were quick to point out that all did not appear as it seemed when an appeal was made to locate a missing '16-year-old'

emergency-services.news

 

[Teeblerone]

drive like a twat, then do a runner.

Driver leaves £500,000 Ferrari a mangled wreck after head-on crash

Photographs released by the fire service show the badly-damaged Ferrari SF90 after it was involved in the crash on Hagley Road, Halesowen, West Midlands.

www.dailymail.co.uk

One wonders whether he'll try the 'my car was nicked' excuse.
i'm sure CCTV will prove him wrong.

What's with the tinfoil-wrapped 1983 'entertainment centre' & the 9" CRT telly?

 

[Londo]

christ, he had a hard paper round

Police Appeal For Missing '16-Year-Old' Causes Widespread Confusion On Social Media

People were quick to point out that all did not appear as it seemed when an appeal was made to locate a missing '16-year-old'

emergency-services.news

Best comment yet "Was he born in a leap year "

 

[colinmc400]

Local mong did this a few years back - hired an M5 and during the ceremony took it out for a pin.
hit the same speed camera four times - in a 60km/h zone, his LOWEST speed was over 180!!!

Have to admit i did a similar thing myself. Hired a Merc SL500 for my wedding day and my brother and i made multiple trips between the same two junctions on the M4. One way at sub light speed, checking to make sure there was no fuzz around. Then back the other way at the gallop. I was maybe slightly saved by the fact that at much above 130, i thought the soft top was gonna get ripped off.

 

[CivvyPete]

Not as far as I know.
Not bought any in years as I have about 15 large boxes of it stacked up in the airing cupbaord.

Did your missus keep stocking up on Omo?

 

[ancienturion]

drive like a twat, then do a runner.

Driver leaves £500,000 Ferrari a mangled wreck after head-on crash

Photographs released by the fire service show the badly-damaged Ferrari SF90 after it was involved in the crash on Hagley Road, Halesowen, West Midlands.

www.dailymail.co.uk

One wonders whether he'll try the 'my car was nicked' excuse.
i'm sure CCTV will prove him wrong.Surely this is where DVLA leaped into play and informed the social service Police whe the owner is.

 

[bedended]

Morning All,
From today's local 'comic'.

 

[theoriginalphantom]

Morning All,
From today's local 'comic'.
View attachment 665868

Ecclestone arrested in Brazil for gun offence

Former F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone is arrested in Brazil for illegally carrying a gun while boarding a private plane to Switzerland.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[NSP]

Was he bundled into the boot and gassed...?

 

[theoriginalphantom]

Was he bundled into the boot and gassed...?

He only dresses like people who do that

 

[Mr_Fingerz]

"Just show the bloke from Natural Resources Wales how to pan for gold. Despite the sign saying that you can't pan for gold".

Snowdonia: Man guilty of panning for gold in Afon Wen

Brian Wright had a jar of gold dust he had gathered on his trip when he was caught, a court hears.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Tuffty]

Lets invade the Ukraine, no one will notice and it will be a piece of piss. Be over in a week or two, trust me guys you know i am a born leader

 

[jmb3296]

"Just show the bloke from Natural Resources Wales how to pan for gold. Despite the sign saying that you can't pan for gold".

Snowdonia: Man guilty of panning for gold in Afon Wen

Brian Wright had a jar of gold dust he had gathered on his trip when he was caught, a court hears.

www.bbc.co.uk

However, Wright, of Henley-on-Thames, said: "It's my belief that sign is incorrect. I believe I know how the regulations should be interpreted."

fined £600 and costs of £2,400 and he claims to be on benefits.
he must have been deafened by the emperor laughing

 

[Joshua Slocum]

scrap metal thief and his mates , go back to stealing scrap metal
the emperor was guiding them that night

'Desperate' man was 'dead for two minutes' after being electrocuted while stealing scrap to pay bills during lockdown

Darren Harris, 29, was badly burnt after being electrocuted in 2020. After losing his job during the lockdown, the Manchester native tried to raise money to put food on the table by stealing scrap metal. Here, he speaks to Sky's Beth Rigby about his ordeal.

news.sky.com

 

[RBMK]

Quote:

"He said: "I was doing what I was doing, collecting work [1], off the ground and stuff like that. And then there was like an electrical control room. And I saw the doors wide open, so I just had a bit of a nose.

"There were like copper bars inside the actual machine." [3]

"I didn't hear noises… the doors were wide open," he said. "I just presumed it was off, and I could sort of help myself [2]."

[1]. [2] How many differnt ways can you describe thieving?

[3] Yep, they're called busbars and they're designed to transmit lots of electrickery.

EM failed to thin out the gene pool in this cae.

 

[Syledis]

The Emperor really humiliated my son a few years ago.
He had finished his degree and was heading on a flight to London for job interviews with firms down there.

On the flight next to a very attractive woman, he gets chatting..

Emperor...go for it my son , impress her, as she asks him what he does...

Him, . Well ,actually i just got a First Class Honours in English and Scottish Law doncha know,( if that doesnt get her knickers loosened, nothing will , he thought in his naivity!!i
So what is it you do ?

Her.. Im one of the legal council for the UK at the War Crimes Tribunal at the Hague..

Him.. (after becoming a stuttering 13 year old boy again) Can i add you to my linked in pwease...

 

[Mr_Fingerz]

The Emperor really humiliated my son a few years ago.
He had finished his degree and was heading on a flight to London for job interviews with firms down there.

On the flight next to a very attractive woman, he gets chatting..

Emperor...go for it my son , impress her, as she asks him what he does...

Him, . Well ,actually i just got a First Class Honours in English and Scottish Law doncha know,( if that doesnt get her knickers loosened, nothing will , he thought in his naivity!!i
So what is it you do ?

Her.. Im one of the legal council for the UK at the War Crimes Tribunal at the Hague..

Him.. (after becoming a stuttering 13 year old boy again) Can i add you to my linked in pwease...

Could only have been bettered if she was to be on his interview panel.

 

[Londo]

scrap metal thief and his mates , go back to stealing scrap metal
the emperor was guiding them that night

'Desperate' man was 'dead for two minutes' after being electrocuted while stealing scrap to pay bills during lockdown

Darren Harris, 29, was badly burnt after being electrocuted in 2020. After losing his job during the lockdown, the Manchester native tried to raise money to put food on the table by stealing scrap metal. Here, he speaks to Sky's Beth Rigby about his ordeal.

news.sky.com

Wonder how much compo he will get ?
Plus being on the sick for the rest of his days .
Still I don't envy him .