The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

[Joshua Slocum]

litter picking and gas canister !!!
ye right

Knaresborough litter-pick pair's car trip with live WWI bomb

The couple originally thought the device, found in the river in Knaresborough, was a gas cannister.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[AdminVortex]

You being a ginger affront to nature probably didn't help...

You just can't let it go, can you?

My Barnet is strawberry blond.

 

[scoldog]

There was a bike RTA near us on the A9 involved loss of limbs.
Various bits of bambi were accidentally loaded into the ambulance in the assumption that better to put all the flesh in with the victim in the hope it might be saveable.

Either that or they were after a decent dinner. After all, it had already been tenderised

 

[Cutaway]

I got breathalysed (zero), but not him. The media don't help with their portrayal of bikers as criminals, which means every accident is automatically that of the in the public's mind.

The papers could have played it better by calling you "an ex-soldier biker, similar to those who started Hell's Angels."

 

[retread2]

The purple suited one has paid a brief visit to Far North Queensland:

Tourists warned against risking their lives in croc-infested waters

Tourists are walking past danger signs to swim and fish in crocodile-infested waters in Queensland's Gulf of Carpentaria. Some fear an attack is only a matter of time.

www.abc.net.au

 

[exiledblue]

I passed my test in 1990 and back then we were taught that pedestrians have right of way at junctions so it's hardly new - the premise in law was that if you turned off the main into a side and a pedestrian was crossing within the limits of the junction (as defined by the long dashes up to the GW or Stop markings) then they were deemed to be using that road/street first and had right of way. Mind you, that was if they were already off the kerb and thus on the roadway. If they were still on the pavement and the front wheels were beyond the line of the GW or Stop marking - i.e. you were on the side road first - the pedestrian was expected to get with the Green X Code and stop at the kerb, have a shufti and open their lugholes.

No such thing as right of way - except in regards to it being a road and traffic having a right of way along it (i.e. - able to walk ride drive etc along a highway.)

 

[FourZeroCharlie]

No such thing as right of way - except in regards to it being a road and traffic having a right of way along it (i.e. - able to walk ride drive etc along a highway.)

The Highways Act 1980 et al would disagree:

Highways Act 1980

An Act to consolidate the Highways Acts 1959 to 1971 and related enactments, with amendments to give effect to recommendations of the Law Commission.

www.legislation.gov.uk

 

[CC_TA]

Trust me - one in six chance and a spin every time; you'll be fine.

 

[quilter]

Horny-Handed Wholesaler Salesmen: Oh, deeply purple-robed one, hear our plight and save us from the tyranny of sense and knowledge, we beseech thee.

EM: What seemeth to be the problem lads?

HHWSs: Yea, verily, during this very night shift, our iPads which we sometimes use as sales consoles cannot connect to the Tube of You nor the Hamsters of X, whereby we spend what little time we may between bouts of furious selling of the goods. We needeth to restart the wireless device that provideth such signals.

EM: Haveth a butchers at that fuse-box on the wall that controls the router (and all other electrical devices) locked in the office. If you flip the fuse switch, the router will restart and you'll be back wanking like grinning chimps in no time.

HHWSs: Oh, good call, your Imperial Purpleness. It shall be done forthwith.

<CLUNK>

Pause..2..3

</CLUNK>

HHWSs: Yea, and so doth the fi of wi return. Praise the purple one with great praise.

HHWSs: Holdeth up - the application server that runs our trading system is now strangely dark and quiet.

HHWSs: It was on the circuit that we hath flippeth the switch but moments ago.

HHWSs: Fark.

Boss of HHWSs: Verily, ye shall have to tradeth for the next eight hours with pen and paper and stay after your knocketh off time to render your trading unto the server of applications before ye shall depart this place to your abodes.

Omnes: Curse you, purple hearted tomenter.

Thou art the cleverest, greatest mirth inducing author, many vielen dankeschons.

 

[RangdoOfArg]

Girmay secures historic win - then gets cork in eye

Biniam Girmay makes history as the first black African winner of a Grand Tour stage - but then has to go to hospital after an accident while celebrating.

www.bbc.co.uk

EM: when opening a large bottle of fizz, ensure your eyes are in the line of cork ejection. You should be okay.

Fzzzzzzz….bunk! Ow.

EM: Hahahahahaha

Girmay then goes to hospital. Further sniggering from the EM.

Today, Girmay withdraws from the race as his eye is injured, and cannot continue. Many bike riders have withdrawn from races with injuries heroic and prosaic, but this has some (daft) panache to it, with a whiff of sulfur.

Chapeau, EM.

 

[Londo]

Trust me - one in six chance and a spin every time; you'll be fine.

One way of getting out of following up on any job offers .

 

[Joshua Slocum]

Peterborough - driver insured to Scotland and provisional licence. Trouble is, he doesn’t know where Scotland is, and tried to explain he’s allowed to drive unsupervised in P’Bro, but can’t leave the city boundary. That rule is news to us!! Still seized and reported 2023/1854

 

[RBMK]

Peterborough - driver insured to Scotland and provisional licence. Trouble is, he doesn’t know where Scotland is, and tried to explain he’s allowed to drive unsupervised in P’Bro, but can’t leave the city boundary. That rule is news to us!! Still seized and reported 2023/1854

View attachment 663848

Is the van registered to a caravan park somewhere near the A1M?

 

[Joshua Slocum]

Is the van registered to a caravan park somewhere near the A1M?

well !!!!!
I wonder about this character


This driver currently has 42 points and is disqualified until February 2023. Stopped driving in Guildford this morning and reported to court. The vehicle was also seized

 

[AlienFTM]

well !!!!!
I wonder about this character


This driver currently has 42 points and is disqualified until February 2023. Stopped driving in Guildford this morning and reported to court. The vehicle was also seized

Crush the van. With him in it.

 

[Kirkz]

Crush the van. With him in it.

Careful now.

 

[solomon88]

well !!!!!
I wonder about this character


This driver currently has 42 points and is disqualified until February 2023. Stopped driving in Guildford this morning and reported to court. The vehicle was also seized

So disqualified also means no insurance. What can you do with these mongs who have no respect for the system?

The van looks tidy, let me know if its going for auction!

 

[exiledblue]

The Highways Act 1980 et al would disagree:

Highways Act 1980

An Act to consolidate the Highways Acts 1959 to 1971 and related enactments, with amendments to give effect to recommendations of the Law Commission.

www.legislation.gov.uk

No they don't. Point out where in the act it says user A has right of way over user B.

 

[CaptainRidiculous]

Incredibly sad story, but still an Emperor-worthy tome.

Draft report suggests friends given outdoor heater for tent

A preliminary report into the deaths of renowned scientist Ndoni Mcunu and her friend S'phumelele Mnomiya has suggested that they were given an outdoor heater to use inside their hotel tent.

www.sowetanlive.co.za

The report revealed that the two women were given an outdoor gas heater to warm themselves during their Easter weekend stay in their luxury tent at the hotel west of Joburg. The department also said the two guests were not shown how the heater worked.

The bizarrest thing - one of the deceased was: Mcunu, the founder of organisation Black Women in Science,

Obviously never studied Carbon Monoxide!

 

[FourZeroCharlie]

No they don't. Point out where in the act it says user A has right of way over user B.

This section (Pt VIII):

Highways Act 1980

An Act to consolidate the Highways Acts 1959 to 1971 and related enactments, with amendments to give effect to recommendations of the Law Commission.

www.legislation.gov.uk

has quite a bit of detail on that matter.