The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

Apparently 'just add a squirt of washing up liquid into the machine' when you've run out of dishwasher tablets is a good idea.


Excuse me, I have a kitchen floor to mop.
Nope, definitely NOT a good idea.
The bastard went into default drain mode, as there is a 'trigger' switch which detects an overflow.
Which has had the pump running intermittendly for the past 3 hours. By default.
Empty washer, pull out from worktop, tilt, empty a half litre of water onto the floor, refill washer, stand on its feet, push back under worktop... It SEEMS to be running now, but may fcuk out again at any time.
 
Nope, definitely NOT a good idea.
The bastard went into default drain mode, as there is a 'trigger' switch which detects an overflow.
Which has had the pump running intermittendly for the past 3 hours. By default.
Empty washer, pull out from worktop, tilt, empty a half litre of water onto the floor, refill washer, stand on its feet, push back under worktop... It SEEMS to be running now, but may fcuk out again at any time.
Some time ago we were staying in an Airbnb place. After dinner we decided to go out to the pub but before we went I thought I’d stick the dishes in the dishwasher. The capsule on the shelf under the sink wouldn’t fit in the machine so I just lobbed it into the machine and pushed the go button.

We grabbed our coats and headed for the door but my wife just happened to glance into the kitchen. What she saw was like something from an old comedy sketch. The kitchen was knee deep in suds, and building.

What I thought was a dishwasher capsule was in fact a washing machine capsule.

Oh how we laughed…
 
"Go on my son, tell them that your beliefs in the sanctity of animal life are far more important than your own life and that you'll die before you take a vaccine that's been tested on animals..."

"Oh yes Your Purpleship, I totally agree and everyone will respect me for the stand I've taken on behalf of my furry friends..."

(Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!)


 

TamH70

MIA
"Go on my son, tell them that your beliefs in the sanctity of animal life are far more important than your own life and that you'll die before you take a vaccine that's been tested on animals..."

"Oh yes Your Purpleship, I totally agree and everyone will respect me for the stand I've taken on behalf of my furry friends..."

(Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!)



Darwin Award winner?
 

themutiny

Clanker
Mum-of-two Crystal said: "Mark and I love Christmas and the lights have become important to us as we get to share the meaning of Christmas and joy with the community.

I'll bet they don't go to to any Christmas church services though...
Sadly, due to family obligations and neighbourhood complaints, this will be the final year.

It seems that the ”community“ or at least some of them don’t agree?
 

syrup

LE
"Go on my son, tell them that your beliefs in the sanctity of animal life are far more important than your own life and that you'll die before you take a vaccine that's been tested on animals..."

"Oh yes Your Purpleship, I totally agree and everyone will respect me for the stand I've taken on behalf of my furry friends..."

(Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!)



Vegan?

It won't even be a decent buffet at the wake
 
"Go on my son, tell them that your beliefs in the sanctity of animal life are far more important than your own life and that you'll die before you take a vaccine that's been tested on animals..."

"Oh yes Your Purpleship, I totally agree and everyone will respect me for the stand I've taken on behalf of my furry friends..."

(Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!)



Ah yes. The Ratlicker's Lament:

"I have never felt so ill, I wish I'd had the vaccine".
 
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Blogg

LE
Colleague tells me of a spat with senior being. Gets arsey '"Where are you?" SMS

"Waiting with everybody else for you to join on the urgent Teams call your PA set up"

"How do I do that from an iPhone? *

*Our new COO, no IT experience at all, working from somewhere holiday-ish, PA not around to wipe nose, hired in on a Diversity and Inclusion ticket courtesy of E. Mong Corporate Social Responsibility Consultants

We are doomed
 
"Go on my son, tell them that your beliefs in the sanctity of animal life are far more important than your own life and that you'll die before you take a vaccine that's been tested on animals..."

"Oh yes Your Purpleship, I totally agree and everyone will respect me for the stand I've taken on behalf of my furry friends..."

(Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!)


Evolution in Action.

Damn, beaten to it by @TamH70
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Akin to the "don't bother rinsing the chicken blood out of the gastro before you stick it in the machine". I made that mistake once.


Squeeky George was a total ****-up, the man sounded like he was on helium and kept screwing things up. He'd be given another job and was probably still thinking about the last one he did which is why he messed up the next one. He was not very bright even amongst memebers of 1 KOSB.

In Ireland he was put into the laundry in BBK, what can possibly go wrong in there?

Turns out if you don't check the washing machine has actually washed anything, and that anything is the chefs whites with a lot of oil and fat on it, then lots.
George takes the wet, but unwashed, items and puts them in the industrial dryer that commits climate offences just by existing.

It didn't take much smoke to set off the fire alarms, but once the oil started it just kept on going and going.

how we all laughed and enjoyed standing outside in winter.
 
Apparently 'just add a squirt of washing up liquid into the machine' when you've run out of dishwasher tablets is a good idea.


Excuse me, I have a kitchen floor to mop.
I did the same thing with a washing machine when I was based in Krefeld. My wife opened the kitchen door and wondered when I’d bought a foam machine…..
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
the fire alarm is going off, lets just sit in the ******* studio

 

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