The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

It seems our purple robed hero has been out in Nepal.

Bloke: I fancy a bit of a w@nk

and as if by magic, a whiff of Sulphur and a flash of purple his magnificence appears..

EM: Go on mate stick ya todger in that bottle, it will help with the fun factor

Bloke: You sure

EM: Why yes, do you doubt me.

Bloke: OK, ...ooh this feels good...hang on can't get my cock out of the bottle now.



 

Londo

LE
It seems our purple robed hero has been out in Nepal.

Bloke: I fancy a bit of a w@nk

and as if by magic, a whiff of Sulphur and a flash of purple his magnificence appears..

EM: Go on mate stick ya todger in that bottle, it will help with the fun factor

Bloke: You sure

EM: Why yes, do you doubt me.

Bloke: OK, ...ooh this feels good...hang on can't get my cock out of the bottle now.



This is my bottle he said .
 
Classic RTFM moment
EM:
It is a wonderful sunny holiday, why not head off to the local resort.
Oh, that bit in the owner's manual about NOT parking on grassland cos the Catalytic Convertor is hot as ****?
Well, don't worry about that bollocks.


WvXwc4DzS2NsQgw0MRM9YharejjS-ikkA_tdaodoYcDcpgWm0Is63OqdumooUiWI64s2e-sN0BBVYzUNULsFR5CiJBc_WMEyktZk=s750
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Staying with family on way to Brize Norton.
FF: We passed signs for an air museum on the way here, about 25minutes back.
Family: we've never been. I'll just check on line, it's only open 1 to 3 today.
FF. It's nearly 2, not worth it.
Family: it's only 12minutes away.
Mrs F: quickly, just you go and take Tiny Miss F.
Tiny Miss F: I want to see planes.
Me: ok what's post code.

And that's how I ended up at the Cranwell Heritage Centre, reading plaques all about the history of Cranwell rather than at this air museum
NAM-Hangar-2-funded-by-the-HLF.jpg
unnamed.jpg

Which was open till 5!
 
Staying with family on way to Brize Norton.
FF: We passed signs for an air museum on the way here, about 25minutes back.
Family: we've never been. I'll just check on line, it's only open 1 to 3 today.
FF. It's nearly 2, not worth it.
Family: it's only 12minutes away.
Mrs F: quickly, just you go and take Tiny Miss F.
Tiny Miss F: I want to see planes.
Me: ok what's post code.

And that's how I ended up at the Cranwell Heritage Centre, reading plaques all about the history of Cranwell rather than at this air museum
View attachment 606320View attachment 606321
Which was open till 5!
Newark?
 
Staying with family on way to Brize Norton.
FF: We passed signs for an air museum on the way here, about 25minutes back.
Family: we've never been. I'll just check on line, it's only open 1 to 3 today.
FF. It's nearly 2, not worth it.
Family: it's only 12minutes away.
Mrs F: quickly, just you go and take Tiny Miss F.
Tiny Miss F: I want to see planes.
Me: ok what's post code.

And that's how I ended up at the Cranwell Heritage Centre, reading plaques all about the history of Cranwell rather than at this air museum
View attachment 606320View attachment 606321
Which was open till 5!
Damn! Now that is a bugger! Sympathies.

Still, TMF did get to see aeroplanes, and so a happy TMF took some of the disappointment away.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Damn! Now that is a bugger! Sympathies.

Still, TMF did get to see aeroplanes, and so a happy TMF took some of the disappointment away.

To be fair to the Cranwell Heritage Centre, it was interesting enough but no planes.
However
20210924_143736.jpg
20210924_145035.jpg
 
EM (PBUH) - Go on my son, you are a talented footballer and COVID rules do not apply to you. Have a birthday bash (even though you are 22 years old FFS and supposed to be a grown man).

Knob - You sure EM? I mean I am expecting over 100 people.

EM (PBUH) - Why yes, the fact you have a fully operational bar catering for such numbers will not be noticed by the plod. If any police rock up just say how surprised you were that folk other than your family seem to be there at 0240 in the morning. Quell surprise officer.

Knob - OK EM.

EM - And be sure that if you get caught and fined that you complain and have it reduced even though your house is worth £2.3 million quid. It won't make anyone else reading about this incident think you are a grade A knob.

 
It seems our purple robed hero has been out in Nepal.

Bloke: I fancy a bit of a w@nk

and as if by magic, a whiff of Sulphur and a flash of purple his magnificence appears..

EM: Go on mate stick ya todger in that bottle, it will help with the fun factor

Bloke: You sure

EM: Why yes, do you doubt me.

Bloke: OK, ...ooh this feels good...hang on can't get my cock out of the bottle now.



From the 'related articles' page:

EM: Bonjour, my pissed Frenchie chums. You look gullible and bored, what's up?
French moron: We've heard that injecting pile cream into a penis can make your cock bigger but we're not sure how to go about it.
EM: Easy, just inject the pile ointment into each other's cocks so you can see what you are doing. Don't worry about the details, I've found you a Youtube video telling you how to do it. Better get on with it before you sober up.
French moron: Are you sure? That doesn't sound very safe.
EM: Look, what could go wrong with having your mate squirt cream meant to treat chalfonts down your jap's eye on the advice of some stranger on Youtube? You'll be hung like a donkey afterwards.
French moron: Good point. Come here Pierre, let's get on with it.

 
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Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
ex Africa semper aliquid novi

EM; Don't know left from right? No problem, head off for a spin in this fine aircraft.


“At 7.23:47, ATC instructed Prima 285 to turn right and re-establish on the left downwind for Runway 11. However, the pilot did not read back the ATC instructions correctly; instead of turning right, he turned left towards final approach path of Runway 11.

“At 7.25:27, ATC instructed the pilot of Prima 285 to turn right. At 7.25:35, ATC again instructed the pilot of Prima 285 to turn right immediately, this time with a much more forceful tone. However, the pilot continued with the left turn.

The pilot, identified in the report as a Ghanaian with “expert” English skills, was on a solo navigational training flight
 
The pilot, identified in the report as a Ghanaian with “expert” English skills, was on a solo navigational training flight

Ahhhh alles klar, he was asleep.
 
ex Africa semper aliquid novi

EM; Don't know left from right? No problem, head off for a spin in this fine aircraft.


“At 7.23:47, ATC instructed Prima 285 to turn right and re-establish on the left downwind for Runway 11. However, the pilot did not read back the ATC instructions correctly; instead of turning right, he turned left towards final approach path of Runway 11.

“At 7.25:27, ATC instructed the pilot of Prima 285 to turn right. At 7.25:35, ATC again instructed the pilot of Prima 285 to turn right immediately, this time with a much more forceful tone. However, the pilot continued with the left turn.

The pilot, identified in the report as a Ghanaian with “expert” English skills, was on a solo navigational training flight

A mate owned a flying school where students from the rest of the continent would often train. Quite a few were regarded as untrainable and refunded the remainder of their money. Reckons it was also a full time job dealing with their admin and dodgy operational practices, along with making sure they showed up for lessons and lectures.

Many were government funded by their countries and on paper quite lucrative contracts, but in reality a nightmare.

Sadly, the examination, testing and certification procedure is a box checking exercise and riddled with entitled political correctness. Study is to get through the exams, not increase knowledge and understanding. Training is to achieve a box check without any real polish. Hold it together long enough without screwing up and you get certified.

What is being released as qualified is truly frightening in some cases, and it's not just from outside SA.

ETA: Those deemed untrainable and refunded their remaining fees would often seek out a less scrupulous school and continue there until they got what they came for. You see the results on the news every now and then.
 
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To be fair, I've had English student pilots who were graduates and still got left and right mixed up even when almost getting their wings.

And I've done it myself when the pressure is on. Even the brightest fuck up under pressure.
 

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