The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

High Willhays? Fur king respect of the highest order. Not for getting you're end away, but for getting your Fiat up there to start with!!
Perhaps it had plenty of 4 x 4 play?

And, I hope, lots of headroom.
 
Fancy a bunk up with a bird ?
ring the Emperor,
my child do not waste money on Hotels
use your cute little motor car, and dont forget to park on a steep hill to add to the passion
OOOOOPS


0900-999-Ready-1.jpg
“‘At an undisclosed location in Derbyshire the couple occupying this Yaris had parked up and were strengthening their relationship.

Excellent press release work from Derbyshire Police!
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
Fancy a bunk up with a bird ?
ring the Emperor,
my child do not waste money on Hotels
use your cute little motor car, and dont forget to park on a steep hill to add to the passion
OOOOOPS


0900-999-Ready-1.jpg

Brings a new meaning to the term "bonking".
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
I know, you know, but they don't. Half the Japanese blades on the market wouldn't cut butter; stainless steel which will neither take or keep an edge.

The Hamon is usually added on for decoration, not in any way clay tempered.

Next time some idiot goes berserk with a 'Samurai Sword' slap him round the chops
Are there any Queen's Own Hussars in the room? RSM positively encouraged my marrying in the Peace Time Uniform (think Adam Ant kit) of 15th/19th The King's Royal Hussars. All the gear (pity with modern gear there's no pelisse to hang off your shoulder, but hey ho). Except for some reason there was an issue with sabres.

"I've spoken to my old mucker, the QM of QOH, other side of Sennelager Training Area. He has two put aside, for you and Best Man. Off you pop.'

Well of fùcking course there was a sword fight up and down the block that night. Inspect blades. Ooh there's a few nicks in here that weren't there a minute ago.

Long story short. Blades were not exposed at ceremony. Best Man had to get away sharpish after reception cos he had to get back for Med Man with the battlegroup his recce troop supported. And QOH wanted the sabres back ASP.

John travelled as a foot passenger, carrying two magnificent cavalry sabres. It was at Customs that the trouble started (we'd driven through in the Capri on the outbound leg without issue).

But I don't think QOH looked very closely at their returned sabres, cos nothing ever came back to me.

Sorry QOH. Happy, halcyon days.
 
I know, you know, but they don't. Half the Japanese blades on the market wouldn't cut butter; stainless steel which will neither take or keep an edge.

The Hamon is usually added on for decoration, not in any way clay tempered.

Next time some idiot goes berserk with a 'Samurai Sword' slap him round the chops
But, but they are all folded a 1000 times and can cut through a machine gun barrel.


Stainless steel would be a major upgrade on some of the ones I have seen, rolled pot metal would be a slight improvement, I have probably seen four or five genuine Japanese swords of any kind outside museums in 40 years of TMA training, and at least one of them was a gunsen from the Second World War. I have always managed just fine training with a bokken or a bag shinai (bent stick the size of a sword, and bundle of bamboo laths in a leather wrap respectively for the readers here who don't play swordfights in pajamas as a hobby).
 
I know, you know, but they don't. Half the Japanese blades on the market wouldn't cut butter; stainless steel which will neither take or keep an edge.

The Hamon is usually added on for decoration, not in any way clay tempered.

Next time some idiot goes berserk with a 'Samurai Sword' slap him round the chops

Plus, of course, if you can get inside his circle, it's odds on the clown wouldn't have a clue how to deal with it.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
But, but they are all folded a 1000 times and can cut through a machine gun barrel.


Stainless steel would be a major upgrade on some of the ones I have seen, rolled pot metal would be a slight improvement, I have probably seen four or five genuine Japanese swords of any kind outside museums in 40 years of TMA training, and at least one of them was a gunsen from the Second World War. I have always managed just fine training with a bokken or a bag shinai (bent stick the size of a sword, and bundle of bamboo laths in a leather wrap respectively for the readers here who don't play swordfights in pajamas as a hobby).
At the back of my brother's wardrobe, throughout my youth there lurked a Japanese officer's sword, liberated from the newly deceased previous owner by our uncle (see page 1 of This Day in History, March 1944).

On joining Northumbria's thin blue line, he thought it a wise career move to hand it in.
 
...I have always managed just fine training with a bokken or a bag shinai (bent stick the size of a sword, and bundle of bamboo laths in a leather wrap respectively for the readers here who don't play swordfights in pajamas as a hobby).

You wear boxing gloves to do so, and that's cheating.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
The Emperor loves to bring rich vain people down to earth
Although in this case I think Mother Nature may have had the upper hand!

I don't get out of bed for less than 10 thousand dollars a day evangalista is taking a cosmetic company to court


It seems that the once stick insect thin Canuck has put on a few pounds ( I believe that Canada has one of the highest obesity problems per head of population)

The 56 year old supermodel has not been seen in public for some years, it seems the daft bat paid her hard earned money to have her fat cells in her face frozen out
Sounds like bloody torture to me love
Anyways this suckyfreezy face job in some instances can make the fat thicker and stronger
A good look at her arse would tell us more
So she is taking the company to court for leaving her disfigured
To be honest she looks like her mum, and in the right dress I would help her out with some weight loss (her not me ya pervs)
Anyway the little chubber has developed
Paradoxical adipose hyperplasia a side effect of the procedure
Or in real terms turned into her mum!

The treatment that the mad bint endured is called
Cryolipolysis, **** me that's a mouthful

This non surgical procedure is used for areas such as beneath the chin aka Turkey neck
The upper arms
Aka bingo wings
The inner and outer thighs
Aka saddlebags
The abdomen
Aka love handles
And beneath the buttocks
Aka a cracker butt

It costs from 15 to 200 pounds per treatment, and about 14 sessions are needed
The customers will feel a pulling or tugging sensation and intense cold. Which can lead to temporary tingling, stinging, aching and cramping!!!
Christ that sounds like my missus



Linda Evangalista states,
She had not been made aware of the adverse reaction before she had the treatment.
It has not only destroyed my livelihood, it has sent me into a cycle of deep depression, profound sadness and the lowest depths of self loathing. In the process I have become a recluse.
With this lawsuit, I am moving forward to rid myself of my shame, and going public with my story


Ah well the compo should make her smile a bit
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
EM has been advising the management team at work.

EM "send two of the three trainers out at the same time (tues - thursday) on the same week for face-to-face training, make sure the friday is booked with online training and that there is no cover in the event that someone should catch a disease of some kind"

Management fools "Brilliant Idea, what if we also make sure the Friday courses are different so we can't even combine the courses should anything go wrong?"

EM "Now you are getting it"

this morning

Toppers (via teams message) "Management fools, I have become unwell, sore throat, lost voice, can't train"
Trainer 2 "Management fools, I have become unwell and (BLOOARRGHHH) can't train"

Management fools "But it's your job"

EM "MWahahahahaaaaa"
 
But, but they are all folded a 1000 times and can cut through a machine gun barrel.


Stainless steel would be a major upgrade on some of the ones I have seen, rolled pot metal would be a slight improvement, I have probably seen four or five genuine Japanese swords of any kind outside museums in 40 years of TMA training, and at least one of them was a gunsen from the Second World War. I have always managed just fine training with a bokken or a bag shinai (bent stick the size of a sword, and bundle of bamboo laths in a leather wrap respectively for the readers here who don't play swordfights in pajamas as a hobby).

Readers - also known as heterosexual men with female partners / spouses.
 
Are they? Or is this a myth perpetuated by Ninja fanboys?
Damascus steel, cut and stacked, and we are looking at '2 to the ninth power'. ie nine stackings.
Stack it in threes or fours, and you reach 1000 layers much quicker.
It's a myth I was mocking the BS. It's a slightly different process from both Damascus and pattern welding but done for the same reason, to even out impurities in the steel.
On the subject of Ninja, the straight Ninjato used in films is copied from a traditional knife used by tuna fishmongers.
 
You wear boxing gloves to do so, and that's cheating.
Nope, the only things ever protecting my hands were my footwork, body movement, and the hard plastic tsuba handguard.

bokken-whiteoak-102cm-642-0101-side.jpg
 

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