The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

EM (PBUH) - You are such a cool Gangsta bruv. Why not post a video of you waving a big Rambo knife around a nightclub, pointing it at people and shouting “I don’t even care about the feds bruv, on my mum’s life.”.

It will make you look cool and you will be a fanny magnet and you definitely won't go to prison for 6 years or anything bruv.

Stupid git - Ok Bruv.

EM (PBUH) - Mwah, ha, ha, ha, ha.......... you total belter.

 
EM (PBUH) - You are such a cool Gangsta bruv. Why not post a video of you waving a big Rambo knife around a nightclub, pointing it at people and shouting “I don’t even care about the feds bruv, on my mum’s life.”.

It will make you look cool and you will be a fanny magnet and you definitely won't go to prison for 6 years or anything bruv.

Stupid git - Ok Bruv.

EM (PBUH) - Mwah, ha, ha, ha, ha.......... you total belter.

Judging from that pic, he's familiar with intimate searches. With cold hands.
 
Judging from that pic, he's familiar with intimate searches. With cold hands.
He might soon be familiar with 'Mr Big' in the shower block with hot, clammy hands!
 

Well, there's a surprise
I am massively pro our Police but I wish they would condemn (and do something) about the ER twats on the M25 and not people singing songs.

Maybe if ER sang a few lines of some lefty protest songs while sitting on the tarmac it will enable the Police to give them the good news?
 

chimera

LE
Moderator
I am massively pro our Police but I wish they would condemn (and do something) about the ER twats on the M25 and not people singing songs.

Maybe if ER sang a few lines of some lefty protest songs while sitting on the tarmac it will enable the Police to give them the good news?
I wondered if the Police might be "delayed in traffic' on their way to the protest, allowing the middle class luvvies sitting in the road to enjoy some quality time with a bunch of angry Eastern European truck drivers.
 

TamH70

MIA
EM (PBUH) - You are such a cool Gangsta bruv. Why not post a video of you waving a big Rambo knife around a nightclub, pointing it at people and shouting “I don’t even care about the feds bruv, on my mum’s life.”.

It will make you look cool and you will be a fanny magnet and you definitely won't go to prison for 6 years or anything bruv.

Stupid git - Ok Bruv.

EM (PBUH) - Mwah, ha, ha, ha, ha.......... you total belter.


Good news on the idiot in question. One small nitpick if I may - the whole point of crack cocaine is to enhance the purity, and therefore the effects, of the cocaine. Cutting it with that drug mentioned in the article doesn't make crack cocaine, even I know that. All it does is foul it up.
 
Good news on the idiot in question. One small nitpick if I may - the whole point of crack cocaine is to enhance the purity, and therefore the effects, of the cocaine. Cutting it with that drug mentioned in the article doesn't make crack cocaine, even I know that. All it does is foul it up.
And here's me thinking it was called crack cocaine because of where dealers might hide it.
 
dob them in.
It makes sense, otherwise you'll have bailiffs and debt collectors hounding you for months with "I'm looking for your neighbour, Miss X. Do you know where she is?"

My mum passed away a few years ago and a couple of months after, the domestic arranged her mates to drop by for a quick home invasion and robbery. She'd been after mum's jewellery for a while and they pretty much rolled in, beat up stepdad and aunt, cleared out what they wanted, computers, cameras, jewellery, cash and so on, then hopped in my car that was stored there while I was on tour and ducked.

What the rancid bitch had also done for the two months between my mum's passing and the robbery was open accounts at clothing and other shops and run up huge bills, leaving their number and address as her place of residence. Even now, seven years later, they're still getting monthly calls and the odd bailiff rolling up wanting their money. I've had to fuck them off a few times but it doesn't stop.
 

TamH70

MIA
And here's me thinking it was called crack cocaine because of where dealers might hide it.

Well, yeah, that's a good alternative definition, no doubt about it. :)

Full disclosure - I learned how to make propa crack cocaine in the pages of the Sunday Times (in their Insight Magazine if I remember correctly). Their journo walked through the process step-by-step, so even an idiot could do it. I never was tempted to try it though. For several good reasons -my granny would have killed me for using her cooker, it was so illegal that I'd probably still be in jail if caught back then, and most importantly of all, that stuff is ******* evil. It's a pity that there is no hell, as the guy who invented it should be rotting there.
 

quilter

War Hero
"Mark my words, mortals, the global shortage of large metal boxes to transport vast quantities of Chinesium items will cause misery. Order whatever you can now to ensure adequate supplies of essentials for your pathetic "Christmas" rituals!"

"We hear and obey...."
How goppen is this?
 
EM(PBUH): "Go on, make an insightful press statement that will calm the concerns of the electorate."

CS Mong: "Righto, Your Eminence: now, where's my list of journo connections so I can offer reassurance to the masses?"

'The government has reassured Brits that higher gas prices will not mean an energy crisis for the UK, despite emergency meetings being held with energy industry leaders, which have been likened by a senior industry insider to early Covid crisis talks.

'It comes as prices have increased by over 70 per cent last month, which caused seven energy suppliers to fold and may push four more out of business next week, according to media reports.

'This means households could experience price increases of up to £400 a year.

'But business secretary Kwasi Kwarteng said energy supply is “not a cause for immediate concern” and that the government does not expect supply emergencies this winter.

'A source told The Guardian that the government is considering short-term measures to help both energy firms and Brits this winter, but may also speed up a shift away from fossil fuels.

“There’s nothing about this situation that wouldn’t be better if we were less reliant on gas,” the source said.'


 
Good news on the idiot in question. One small nitpick if I may - the whole point of crack cocaine is to enhance the purity, and therefore the effects, of the cocaine. Cutting it with that drug mentioned in the article doesn't make crack cocaine, even I know that. All it does is foul it up.
And what is a "Rambo knife" precisely?

The same as a "samurai sword" in media. It's a Bowie knife — it's only a Rambo knife if John Rambo is holding it, and it's only a samurai sword if owned by a samurai. Otherwise it's a katana.
 

Blogg

LE
EM(PBUH): "Go on, make an insightful press statement that will calm the concerns of the electorate."

CS Mong: "Righto, Your Eminence: now, where's my list of journo connections so I can offer reassurance to the masses?"

'The government has reassured Brits that higher gas prices will not mean an energy crisis for the UK, despite emergency meetings being held with energy industry leaders, which have been likened by a senior industry insider to early Covid crisis talks.

'It comes as prices have increased by over 70 per cent last month, which caused seven energy suppliers to fold and may push four more out of business next week, according to media reports.

'This means households could experience price increases of up to £400 a year.

'But business secretary Kwasi Kwarteng said energy supply is “not a cause for immediate concern” and that the government does not expect supply emergencies this winter.

'A source told The Guardian that the government is considering short-term measures to help both energy firms and Brits this winter, but may also speed up a shift away from fossil fuels.

“There’s nothing about this situation that wouldn’t be better if we were less reliant on gas,” the source said.'



Govt: "We shall speed up shift away from fossil fuels"

Green types: "Yes, that is really good! But hang on, we don't mean that type of shift!!"

 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
My mum passed away a few years ago and a couple of months after, the domestic arranged her mates to drop by for a quick home invasion and robbery. She'd been after mum's jewellery for a while and they pretty much rolled in, beat up stepdad and aunt, cleared out what they wanted, computers, cameras, jewellery, cash and so on, then hopped in my car that was stored there while I was on tour and ducked.

What the rancid bitch had also done for the two months between my mum's passing and the robbery was open accounts at clothing and other shops and run up huge bills, leaving their number and address as her place of residence. Even now, seven years later, they're still getting monthly calls and the odd bailiff rolling up wanting their money. I've had to fuck them off a few times but it doesn't stop.
you need to find them and pay them a visit !
 
Good news on the idiot in question. One small nitpick if I may - the whole point of crack cocaine is to enhance the purity, and therefore the effects, of the cocaine. Cutting it with that drug mentioned in the article doesn't make crack cocaine, even I know that. All it does is foul it up.
And "903mg of cocaine" sounds much more impressive than "less than 1 gram".
 
you need to find them and pay them a visit !

Not easy. Disappear into the masses and that's it. Had a bloke tracking them for a while but the cops just weren't interested in the intel we provided. Dropped off the radar and that was it. Still have a copy of one of them's ID doc so if it shows up we'll see what the useless SAPS shit circus will do about it.
 
The Emperor is running a phone scam service now. Persuaded a woman to shave her head. Serves her right.


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