The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

Seems his Eminence is having a visit around the Baltics.

I wonder what form I need to fill in to do something similar in Hull. Only selecting Hull as any exercise damage will be a nice bonus to Christmas piss up fund.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
I wonder what form I need to fill in to do something similar in Hull. Only selecting Hull as any exercise damage will be a nice bonus to Christmas piss up fund.
Would you be using blank or ball?
 

offog

LE
Ball, HE, Brimstone, and anything else I can get my hands on. I will declare the ferry port out of bounds, I do enjoy the overnight crossings to Holland.
You're a bit late I think they stopped them now. The traffic department at Hull city council might be in excellent place for a brimstone.
 

Blogg

LE
"Mark my words, mortals, the global shortage of large metal boxes to transport vast quantities of Chinesium items will cause misery. Order whatever you can now to ensure adequate supplies of essentials for your pathetic "Christmas" rituals!"

"We hear and obey...."

20210917_084850.jpg
 
Go on my son, don't worry that you have been drinking, the barrier is down and a train is going past. You are a Railway Signalman so you can squeeze your car through.

 
A shame this one didn't actually kark it or it would have gone in the Darwin thread.
EM out again searching for the selfie crowd. If anyone's seen Benidorm you will know there is a posh restaurant located on the Castell di Benidorm, where they always take their dates to impress them.

The Castell is built on top of very large cliffs which go down to the sea.
View attachment 604193

26 year old Ukrainian women climbed down over a railing (I wonder why they put them there?) to take a selfie. After all, what could go wrong?
She fell, as EM knew she would, but got trapped in a cleft and rescued.


I should have waited. Now the recipient of a Darwin as she karked it in hospital from "multiple traumas".
Good old selfies strike again (or the Alicante emergency unit is in cahoots with EM).
 

Dread

LE
2016
Frog, rubbing his hands with glee: "Monsewer Le President avec le penchant pour les femmes ancient, bonnes nouvelles!"

Macron: "Dis-moi!"

Frog: "Les Patterson has signed a deal pour EUR 40 billion with our company to build them douze bateaux under l'eau! C'est incroiable! Beaucoup d'argent! Nous must be tres prudente et take them to many grand déjeuners. Monsewer Le President: don't turn it to merde!"

Macron: "Bien sûr mon ami! Je will be extrêmement gentil avec les Australiens! Au revoir mon brave!" Exit Frog stage left.

2018
Stage right: puff of purple smoke.
EM: "Bon Jour Monsewer Granny Fücker! How's tricks?"

Macron: "VDL? Est-ce vous? That cape violette is a good look: tres chic! Les tricks c'est Fantastique! Vous remember les Asutraliens douze sous-marines from la belle France? With maintenance the price has doubled! C'est superb!".

EM: "Tres bon! Now, on another matter entirely, some Italians are trying to send 500,000 vials of Astra-Zeneca COVID-19 out of the EU. You're short of vaccines, why don't you have your fellow frog Eric Mamer at the EU seize the shipment and use it on your people instead? You'll be un héros, and it's election year soon!"

Macron: "Won't les buyers be furieux?"

EM: "Non, non, non. 'They'll be right, they're no-one special, and we can blame the perfidious Albion for not making enough."

Macron on phone to Mamer: "Arreter all vaccines leaving the EU, even if we don't need them. Maintenant! Pas de questions!"

EM: disappears in a puff of smoke. The following morning, on the other side of the world...

Scott Morrison (PM of Oz if you, like Biden, didn't know): "WTF? Where are our 500,000 vials of vaccine? What do you mean the EU won't release them? What about the other 2.6 million? They're blocked as well? We're fücked without them. Right. We're going to get those bástards back if it's the last thing we do!"

2021
Paris. As news of Biden pulling a Trump and les rosbif stabbing France in the face appear on the news, there is a slight purple haze and a hint of sulphur to be found amidst the scents of the boulangeries surrounding the Palais de l'Elysee , and almost imperceptible between the police sirens and traffic on the nearby Champs-Élysées, is a "Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha!" fading slowly into the background noise.
 
Last edited:
Outstanding, well done it was only a matter of time before the massive con trick of the non existent submarines was going to surface, but the Frog reaction is gold. they have now withdrawn their Ambassador from Aus.
Wrong quote?
 
Wrong quote?
Of course not.

Have you never played 'submarines' in the bath with a USB cable as the French and your Japs eye as the Aussies?

Come on, we have all done that at some point...................no?

Oh........
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
3 yoots big themselves up and rob some one at knifepoint
then film themselves attempting to flee from the police
geezer in the back dont look so confident, he is making the big eyes, and his arse is twitching
not only that the mongs live stream it hoping that other scummy workshy mongs will come to their aid
I love the way they get dragged out of the window
I would have loved it more if they got a bloody good beating, or a round of 7.62
I notice horse face didnt want to do the tazer jive though !!
inshallah


these sort of Feral scum are ruling the streets



 

TamH70

MIA
White phos.

You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling:


Extra bonus points for that being the weapon used by Tom Hardy in the film where I stole that quote from...
 

MoleBath

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
3 yoots big themselves up and rob some one at knifepoint
then film themselves attempting to flee from the police
geezer in the back dont look so confident, he is making the big eyes, and his arse is twitching
not only that the mongs live stream it hoping that other scummy workshy mongs will come to their aid
I love the way they get dragged out of the window
I would have loved it more if they got a bloody good beating, or a round of 7.62
I notice horse face didnt want to do the tazer jive though !!
inshallah


these sort of Feral scum are ruling the streets



In the US the final scene might well have seen a brisk rattle of fire .
 

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top