The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

I’ve been a number of times, it’s fantastic, lots of shopping and the cigs are cheap. I should retire there.
For the fags, obviously.
 
The horrible thing was, to a certain degree, back in the day, it worked, as you associated any wrong doing with pain, and you had an unconscious respect for the law of the land. Plod were respected, and feared, as was your dad, because if the local bobby dragged you home by the scruff of the neck, you knew that you would be in a whole world of pain and humiliation, and lessons really would have been learned, the hard way.

My childhood was on the mean streets of the post war bombed east end, and as a snotty nosed kid in the mid fifties, you knew if you stepped out of line, and got caught, ..............:eek:
Worse still, if your dad was Old Bill and there was even a vague suggestion of wrongdoing in 1970s Kingston-Upon-Hull which is so much more a sh!te hole now than it was then, even with the rat-infested bomb sites that honed my skills as a marksman.
Ok, allowed me to blat away at rodents and pigeons with a succession of crap to better airguns.
 
'The embarrassed man’s mother – who tried to help him – called the emergency services and firemen went to his home in Bangkok, Thailand, on the evening of July 16.'

Should have got Mummy to 'help him out' before he gave himself a Banged-upkok.
No, not mummy, he liked putting his winky into small orifices.
The article does seem to imply that he'd lost the key after securing his appendage.
How long after swelling and pain did he start looking for it one wonders?
I reckon that mummy binned it to teach her bachelor son a lesson who, for some unfathomable reason, appears not to have had a girlfriend as he must be quite some catch.
 
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For the avoidance of any doubt, Thailand for @jarrod248 is but a memory w@nk.
He’s far too frail to travel there now and, the flight would likely divert to Switzerland, to enable him to spend a short period of time in a place that promises dignity.

Do not be fooled though…the bugger has pork pies, reactolite glasses, a predatory nature and rohypnol.
That’s why @Bacongrills currently has an arse like the Japanese flag after being invited to Barnsley to sample some…

Quiche
 
For the avoidance of any doubt, Thailand for @jarrod248 is but a memory w@nk.
He’s far too frail to travel there now and, the flight would likely divert to Switzerland, to enable him to spend a short period of time in a place that promises dignity.

Do not be fooled though…the bugger has pork pies, reactolite glasses, a predatory nature and rohypnol.
That’s why @Bacongrills currently has an arse like the Japanese flag after being invited to Barnsley to sample some…

Quiche
This explains why I lost a day and woke up with my trousers on back to front after having that funny tasting lemonade.
 
This explains why I lost a day and woke up with my trousers on back to front after having that funny tasting lemonade.
Does this smell of chloroform to you?
 
Not content with offering Mr Clapton some advice vis a vis Enoch Powell, the Emperor (PBUH) has been whispering in his ear again:

While you're there have a look at the Bruce Springsteen article for us .
Does her dress sway or wave?
It wants me to subscribe
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
I've always thought that throwing yourself off a bridge attached to a large elastic band was barmy, especially so when one end ISN'T tied to the bridge...


Woman dives to her death from 150ft bungee jump bridge in Colombia after mistaking signal meant for her boyfriend as the instruction to leap - before she had a cord attached

Yecenia Morales, 25, fell 150ft from the viaduct in Amaga, northern Colombia, on Sunday.

The lawyer was preparing for her first ever bungee and had travelled to the popular spot organised by Sky Bungee Jumping with her boyfriend.



A figure in a purple cloak was seen nearby sniggering after the event but was nowhere to be found when police arrived.
 

wheel

LE
For the avoidance of any doubt, Thailand for @jarrod248 is but a memory w@nk.
He’s far too frail to travel there now and, the flight would likely divert to Switzerland, to enable him to spend a short period of time in a place that promises dignity.

Do not be fooled though…the bugger has pork pies, reactolite glasses, a predatory nature and rohypnol.
That’s why @Bacongrills currently has an arse like the Japanese flag after being invited to Barnsley to sample some…

Quiche
I get the impression that you are @jarrod248 s Fag Hag.
 

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