The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
The Emperor has been advising the local criminals once again
OK Yoot, nick a beemer and rag it around, but you dont want to get caught by the cameras do you
stick another set of plates on it, from another stolen car
who will notice MWAAAAAAH


https://www.facebook.com/OPUWarwick...hVClF48BrRmXtZkyCMeTdzBu0M7HtbTqNP&__tn__=<*F

OPU Warwickshire

·

This BMW had been stolen from Birmingham and put on false plates. Unfortunately for the driver it had been put on plates for another stolen vehicle. We stopped the vehicle with 2 occupants in Nuneaton today. The vehicle has been recovered and enquiries are ongoing.

1623963144495.png
 
His Serene Highness: Come on, look at him, he's a little old Chinaman, you're a big strapping Dublin lad you're not going to let Yoda shove you around are you?

Jackeen: Ye know wha'? Ye're bleedin' roigh', Oi'll show him

HSH: You did that son, you did that.

He forgot Rule No 1
 
No poofters?
"Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man"

 

TamH70

MIA
"Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man"

Curse you! You have gained the Great Power of the Wiki-Walk!

I have just finished reading two pages about books by an author of whom l have read but one of his novels - and that one was co-written by Neil Gaiman - thanks to you.
 
Curse you! You have gained the Great Power of the Wiki-Walk!

I have just finished reading two pages about books by an author of whom l have read but one of his novels - and that one was co-written by Neil Gaiman - thanks to you.
You haven't read Terry Pratchetts Discworld series?

Get thee to a bookstore (preferably not a rare book store owned by a certain angelic looking bloke who will try and chase you out)
 
Last edited:
The Emperor has been hanging around my neck of the woods a fair bit lately. I've just been asked to pull some security footage from one of our dealerships from an incident this morning.

A truck driver pulled up at one of our dealerships this morning with a fully loaded car carrier ready to drop off some cars. He's managed to get the car on the back of the lower ramps off, but appeared to be having trouble with the piston that lowers the top ramp. He wiggles it up and down a couple of times, but can't seem to get it to retract.

It only happens in a single frame, but the Emperor appears in a puff of purple smoke and whispers in his ear "It's a air driven piston, why not just pull the air line for it and it will go down!"

This driver obviously thought it was a great idea, and so goes around to the back of the truck to pull the air line for that piston. Dunno if he needed glasses or something, but it looks like he messed up and pull the air line for the air brakes.

He's known straight away he's buggered up and managed to run around the back of the truck to the cab as it started to roll backwards, tries valiantly to jump in the cab only to get knocked out of the way midjump by the open door and sent sprawling on the ground, leaving a loaded car carrier rolling down the hill and into one of our showrooms and all the cars parked in the front of it.

Luckily, everyone in and around the showroom saw the truck hurtling towards them and managed to run out of the way, with no injuries. However we've got 8 cars written off, and the front of the showroom smashed in.

Unless someone else in the company posts to youtube in the mean time, I'll probably post the footage once the police investigation is over (even though the local police have been taking the piss out of it on their facebook page already).

police.PNG
 
Last edited:
Story in the local press this week about a young honeymoon couple returning home and having a romantic/sexytime shower together, and getting electrocuted.
Mong was bound to be involved....
"You need all your money to pay for expensive wedding and honeymoon... Save on your electricity bill by simply bypassing the meter!"
Just a small problem of bypassing the earth wire as well, it has now emerged.
 
The Emperor has been hanging around my neck of the woods a fair bit lately. I've just been asked to pull some security footage from one of our dealerships from an incident this morning.

A truck driver pulled up at one of our dealerships this morning with a fully loaded car carrier ready to drop off some cars. He's managed to get the car on the back of the lower ramps off, but appeared to be having trouble with the piston that lowers the top ramp. He wiggles it up and down a couple of times, but can't seem to get it to retract.

It only happens in a single frame, but the Emperor appears in a puff of purple smoke and whispers in his ear "It's a air driven piston, why not just pull the air line for it and it will go down!"

This driver obviously thought it was a great idea, and so goes around to the back of the truck to pull the air line for that piston. Dunno if he needed glasses or something, but it looks like he messed up and pull the air line for the air brakes.

He's known straight away he's buggered up and managed to run around the back of the truck to the cab as it started to roll backwards, tries valiantly to jump in the cab only to get knocked out of the way midjump by the open door and sent sprawling on the ground, leaving a loaded car carrier rolling down the hill and into one of our showrooms and all the cars parked in the front of it.

Luckily, everyone in and around the showroom saw the truck hurtling towards them and managed to run out of the way, with no injuries. However we've got 8 cars written off, and the front of the showroom smashed in.

Unless someone else in the company posts to youtube in the mean time, I'll probably post the footage once the police investigation is over (even though the local police have been taking the piss out of it on their facebook page already).

View attachment 582389
No wonder there's a chronic shortage of 4wd & awd in Australia, you've got them all.
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
Story in the local press this week about a young honeymoon couple returning home and having a romantic/sexytime shower together, and getting electrocuted.
Mong was bound to be involved....
"You need all your money to pay for expensive wedding and honeymoon... Save on your electricity bill by simply bypassing the meter!"
Just a small problem of bypassing the earth wire as well, it has now emerged.

Was it a duoDarwin?
 
The Emperor certainly gets about. The State of Arizona was looking for something to execute criminals, "this has always worked well before" His Eminence advised:



"OK Fletcher, you are coming with me. Bring your soap and towel....."

"No thanks, Mr Mackay, me and Godber are just having as philosophical argument."

"It's alright, Fletcher, Godber will be having his shower after you've had yours......"
 

Londo

LE
131 mobile phones discovered between the 5 of them!!!
So drug dealing scum of the first order
I notice the remark that he also left the country for a year
Real coward
One should not stereotype but he looks sly and lazy, just the sort to avoid real work and responsibility
Perhaps they just liked talking to people
 
Still better than Edinburgh. Their inspiring statement is "Edinburgh - the city of Edinburgh council".

Some people might think the council exists to help their fellow citizens and city. They apparently think the city exists to provide something for the council to rule over. Tossers.

edinburgh-logo.png
I fancy a small group of wokeratti will be quietly plotting - and I smell some sulphur emanating from the committee room where this was approved.

You might be aware that from JSP 101 a few years back the MOD adopted the use of Arial font instead of Times New Roman as sans serif fonts are easier for those with dyslexia to read - reasonable accomodation for disabilities and all that. When I joined the CS I brought up the fact in our department that we still used TNR and we changed shortly afterwards.

Even the House of Commons has recently gone down this route with a new logo that is sans serif.

This on the other hand may cause some concern. Is Edinburgh council SNP ran and thus immune to being considered un-woke?
 

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top