The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements


Just imagine me resting my beer gut on her back and my big sweaty gonads smacking off her arse.
I'd leave her arse looking like a smashed creme egg.
You deserve pulling through with a Christmas tree, pointy end first.


You can't speak about wee Nicola like that... I'll have you know that I was driving and I was distracted by the blow job I was receiving from her..

Was it followed by a Wee Jimmy Wankie?
Definitely a spitter, now't stays in that gob given all the shit she spews.
She doesn't have a choice.
One hand on the back of her head and I'll squeeze her nostrils together with the other.

Saying that, I bet she'd happily swallow my testicle turps if I told her that I support independence.