The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

Ditto after the 7/7 bombing, my place of work did the same. Muster was outside the glass-fronted building.

Trouble is, fire wardens/bomb wardens tend to be the most self-important members of staff.
I raised it when the fire/bomb/roving gunman plans were the same.

So you want us all to leave the offices, out past the security access points that you need a pass and pin to open and bunch up on the car park?

Really?
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
The emperors advice was sought
mong knowingly buys a stolen breakdown truck ( lots of these vanishing lately)
old bill catch up with him, he is totally innocent of course, never done nuffink wrong yer honor
well apart from the fact that he gave a false ID
so no vehicle
out of pocket ( although likely he was involved in its theft)
and a court appearance

 
The emperors advice was sought
mong knowingly buys a stolen breakdown truck ( lots of these vanishing lately)
old bill catch up with him, he is totally innocent of course, never done nuffink wrong yer honor
well apart from the fact that he gave a false ID
so no vehicle
out of pocket ( although likely he was involved in its theft)
and a court appearance


Fascinating.

Who would:

a. Steal a police car?

b. Buy a stolen police car?

c. Park their stupid police car in front of the vehicle they're bigging up?
 
The emperors advice was sought
mong knowingly buys a stolen breakdown truck ( lots of these vanishing lately)
old bill catch up with him, he is totally innocent of course, never done nuffink wrong yer honor
well apart from the fact that he gave a false ID
so no vehicle
out of pocket ( although likely he was involved in its theft)
and a court appearance

Do you think it was, you know








A Birmingham City fan?
 

Blogg

LE
"A splendid idea! Proceed with all dispatch my snivelling underling.

Global ridicule? Something to be used as a humorous example of human folly during the great Covid19 panic by future generations? Nonsense!

Muwahahahaha...."

 
Was doing a site visit a few years back, smoke alarm was beeping every few minutes.
Me "battery needs changing"
fucktard "no its a mains one"
Me "with a battery back up, needs changing"
fucktard "no it's mains"
Me "Now, about this out of date, damaged, leaking, incorrectly signed fire extinguisher showing low pressure that is propping the fire door open behind the pile of cardboard boxes blocking the exit..."

Why do I keep getting the feeling that this efficient go-getter is in charge??

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Sent from my karzi while losing several pounds
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Probably a pikey but, !
Cops doing a bit of checking notice a drone snooping on them
so they follow it as it heads off, and spot it on the bonnet of a 4WD pick up, and nick the driver, as the pick up was nicked, MWAAAAH
the drone will no doubt yeild much of interest, as its likely to have been used for checking out properties

 
Probably a pikey but, !
Cops doing a bit of checking notice a drone snooping on them
so they follow it as it heads off, and spot it on the bonnet of a 4WD pick up, and nick the driver, as the pick up was nicked, MWAAAAH
the drone will no doubt yeild much of interest, as its likely to have been used for checking out properties

And I expect the pilot could also be prosecuted under air law...I doubt he had notification of BLOS flight lodged or a spotter either...
 
I went to inspect a fire alarm in Ilford, a nice couple had only recently taken over the hotel , various idle bastards on our firm had fiddled with the fire alarm trying to get the kit in the extension to work, even installing a top of the range control panel
still not working, so muggsy here get called, out with the testmeter, no voltage across the smoke detector terminals ??
thinking that the cable had been chopped some place, i kept going , idle bastard had fitted the End of line diodes in the panel
eventually getting tired, I unscrew a base and lifted it down to work out the possible cable route, 2 feet of cable in and out cut off
and the next one
and the next one
removed the bell
same thing
got hold of the owner and showed him, he was a little bit pissed that idle bastard had not even done the basic check ( typical with that one)
turned out the only part working was the pair of callpoints in the old building, big round metal things, and two bells and a heat detector!!!
spoke to the boss, he spoke to the brigade, they were very helpful, and we agreed a plan
Monday morning I was back with a helper to wire the extension, and replace all of the old wiring in the main building
At a substantial discount, think the client only paid for the parts and fed us and provided a room
if idle bastard had done the basic check 3 months before, the client would have happily paid for a complete new system, as the sodding place was closed for 3 months for decorating and carpets

Turned out that the git selling it had raided the skips in the high street when the office block was refurbished, we even traced the old detectors through the manufacture and supplier

Was does auger me is when I visit some one with a similiar problem, and test the system and show them, invariably I get the reply how did that happen ??
I have yet to arrive at a smart answer that is both polite and informative
"The brigade were very helpful".

I don't know what they are like now as I have been away a few years but the Fire Service always struck me as one of the few groups of public servants who still gave a shite about their jobs. I worked for a while in a large entertainment complex and only had to ask them and I could have all the staff, doormen, bar staff, waitresses, the lot, up for a few hours at the station for instruction, a video on some pretty grisly fires (think the Stardust fire in Dublin etc) and then instruction on the use of hoses and extinguishers, my people (especially the girls) loved it and we made it an annual day out.

I even offered them the use of the place for a trial rescue on a quiet evening. They arrived with sack-like dummies full of sand which the chief hid around the place, we knocked the lights out and filled it with disco smoke and the lads were set to it with breathing equipment, while others were down at the box office setting up casualty clearing. I tell you what, I don't know what it did for the firefighters but it certainly perked me up, seeing "bodies" being brought down from function rooms to be laid out beside my office, it did wonders for my fire safety awareness. What amazed me was how grateful the chief was, at the end of it he was thanking me profusely for my time and for allowing his lads to get such realistic training. He was thanking me!

When it came to wee gifts, we often got visits from the cops (thirsty bastards), council etc around Christmas time, and they always left with a bottle or two of something. I remember two firemen coming around and they went around checking everything meticulously. They insisted they were checking all premises before the Christmas rush, "yeah, whatever lads, no bother, here take a couple of bottles for the station do". They refused, after I insisted, one of them with a slight bit of irritation took out a notebook and painstakingly wrote down the brand, bottle size etc of "the gratuity" (his words) I was giving them.

The buggers were actually out checking on fire safety and seemed kinda annoyed with me for thinking otherwise.
 
I raised it when the fire/bomb/roving gunman plans were the same.

So you want us all to leave the offices, out past the security access points that you need a pass and pin to open and bunch up on the car park?

Really?
The drill for intruders onto the SH site at Basra was for us to assemble in the mess hall so we could identify everyone and quickly spot anyone who wasn’t supposed to be there.

“So in the event of a suspected suicide bomber on camp you want us all to get much closer together, in a single location, namely, a tent? Can you see any possible small flaws in that plan?”
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
The drill for intruders onto the SH site at Basra was for us to assemble in the mess hall so we could identify everyone and quickly spot anyone who wasn’t supposed to be there.

“So in the event of a suspected suicide bomber on camp you want us all to get much closer together, in a single location, namely, a tent? Can you see any possible small flaws in that plan?”


Hullavington in the early 90s

Bomb threat with supposedly confirmed IRA code...

Guard commander "Everyone parade, by course, on the car park."

Gobby toppers "The car park covered in cars and surrounded by massive metal bins?"

Gd Cmdr "yes"

GT "the cars and bins that could be the hiding place of the supposed bombs?"

Gd Cmdr "err yes"

GT "the rad ops will be over on the nice empty field"

(Followed by all the other courses)
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
Emperor Mong has teamed up with Darwin in India to watch the cricket this week...

Rooster fitted with knife for cockfighting kills its owner by slashing his groin as it tries to escape

Bird had a blade strapped to his leg ready to take on opponent in vicious battle
But he made a bid to escape, slashing open his owner's groin in the process
Man rushed to hospital from village of Lothunar, India, but died of blood loss
Killer rooster was held briefly at local police station before being sent to a farm

Specially-bred roosters have three-inch knives or blades tethered to their legs and punters bet on who will win the gruesome fight.


In this case I believe that the Emperor Mong won the jackpot.
 

Teeblerone

War Hero
was
Emperor Mong has teamed up with Darwin in India to watch the cricket this week...

Rooster fitted with knife for cockfighting kills its owner by slashing his groin as it tries to escape

Bird had a blade strapped to his leg ready to take on opponent in vicious battle
But he made a bid to escape, slashing open his owner's groin in the process
Man rushed to hospital from village of Lothunar, India, but died of blood loss
Killer rooster was held briefly at local police station before being sent to a farm

Specially-bred roosters have three-inch knives or blades tethered to their legs and punters bet on who will win the gruesome fight.


In this case I believe that the Emperor Mong won the jackpot.
was just reading about it...3" blades!
 
Before this current trend of working from home, our office brought in a scatter policy rather than have everyone bunch up in a very large group which would make for a lovely target.

when it comes to recalling them there is supposed to be an automated call - but I just know we are going to be going round all the local pubs to frogmarch everyone back in after their mobiles suddenly lose reception. I think the Emperor may have had a hand in both plans.
The best time for a fire drill is 15-20 minutes before lunch. Just long enough for people to get out, have the roll call taken, stand around for a couple of minutes, then naff off to the pub/sandwich shop/chippy, giving the powers that be time to decide to let people back in. Usually by the time they do, there are few people stood waiting, so there isn't a massive queue to get back in. Job jobbed.
 

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