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The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

Bringing a screwdriver to a gunclub, that's the Nevada way
In South Carolina they do it slightly different... any fule knows that bringing a knife to a gunfight can get you killed, but in this instance the burglar with the knife wasn't expecting an 82 year old Vietnam vet to beat him to a bloody pulp death with the barrel end... not a shot fired... his face still ended up a mess mind as Herbert jabbed him "at least 10 times" in the face, "just as hard as I could hit him." after the burglar forced his way into their home and attacked his wife. Herbert grabs a shotgun off the wall (like you do) and went to town protecting his wife and himself...
 

NSP

LE
View attachment 550362

His Eminence has obviously had a hand in the production of this
I've given it a rewrite:-

Woke_twats.jpg



Edited to add: I have belatedly realised that the right-hand panel should say, "...incase someone uses words that upset them, like "machine-gun...." for full ironic effect.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
The Emperor provides different levels of advice to America
over here if you are having a baby, you just tell people its sex, FFS its only one or the other
but in that there America they like to be brash and loud and outdo each other
So a Knucklehead decides to make a big bangy thing to announce the sex of his child, perhaps he was going to blow a hole in the roof to let the stars in, who knows
but instead he blew himself up, and Knackered his brother big time, and messed up the garage

Massive Mong levels all round

This seems to follow in a long line of mongess relating to childbirth





1614070711606.png
 
I've been reporting one of our emergency lights in the office as being defective for 4 years.
I wouldn't want to rush anyone to fix it.
There should be a log for recording the Monthly and Annual tests of the Emergency lighting and you should have someone who is responsible for Fire safety. Ask to see the log, then point them to Articles 14, 17 and 32 of The Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order 2005.
Your local Fire and Rescue Authority will be able to advise (and potentially visit/inspect)




 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
There should be a log for recording the Monthly and Annual tests of the Emergency lighting and you should have someone who is responsible for Fire safety. Ask to see the log, then point them to Articles 14, 17 and 32 of The Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order 2005.
Your local Fire and Rescue Authority will be able to advise (and potentially visit/inspect)






I'm well aware of this,

I used to teach it, but being qualified in such things means nothing to the general manager who knows better. doesn't matter what subject he knows what to do, which is always the cheapest option/no expense version.

which is why it's taken three and a half years to get the fire, first aid and general risk assessments accepted

there is carpet in the building that we believe was there when the office was put up in the early 80's, and don't get me started on the ACM's, PAT and so on.

EM is setting him up for a colossal fall and it's going to be epic
 
I know my defib needs a new battery because it beeps every 20 seconds.

Which is fun when it is in the car with you and your day is spent driving for an hour, then from house to house to vaccinate, and then home again.
A beep approximately every 20 seconds for 10hours.
Is that a dentist thing? Our dentist had a smoke alarm that went beep every few minutes. It remained the same, (or happened again 'cos they buy crap batteries) for a couple of years until they redecorated.
 
I'm well aware of this,

I used to teach it, but being qualified in such things means nothing to the general manager who knows better. doesn't matter what subject he knows what to do, which is always the cheapest option/no expense version.

which is why it's taken three and a half years to get the fire, first aid and general risk assessments accepted

there is carpet in the building that we believe was there when the office was put up in the early 80's, and don't get me started on the ACM's, PAT and so on.

EM is setting him up for a colossal fall and it's going to be epic
HSE would be all over that if "someone" let them know.;)
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Is that a dentist thing? Our dentist had a smoke alarm that went beep every few minutes. It remained the same, (or happened again 'cos they buy crap batteries) for a couple of years until they redecorated.


Was doing a site visit a few years back, smoke alarm was beeping every few minutes.
Me "battery needs changing"
fucktard "no its a mains one"
Me "with a battery back up, needs changing"
fucktard "no it's mains"
Me <ticks 'fail' box> "Now, about this out of date, damaged, leaking, incorrectly signed fire extinguisher showing low pressure that is propping the fire door open behind the pile of cardboard boxes blocking the exit..."
 
Was doing a site visit a few years back, smoke alarm was beeping every few minutes.
Me "battery needs changing"
fucktard "no its a mains one"
Me "with a battery back up, needs changing"
fucktard "no it's mains"
Me <ticks 'fail' box> "Now, about this out of date, damaged, leaking, incorrectly signed fire extinguisher showing low pressure that is propping the fire door open behind the pile of cardboard boxes blocking the exit..."

You are on the way to a purple award, it’s people like your boss that also don’t change their cladding and other shit that ends up a perfect storm.
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
My office office (the one that I rarely go into these days) has only one way in and out which is via a small vestibule. There is a total of 3 offices leading on the vestibule and we are on the ground floor of a one storey building.

Our office is council owned and they send a "fire assessor" around. He comes into our office and asks us what our emergency plan is in the event of fire.

'We will leave via the door and assemble at the assembly point in the car park'

What if the fire is in the vestibule?

I look at him with one of those looks: "I will put the chair through the window and I will follow the chair"

He waffles on about having escape equipment to smash the window until I gently point out that the gentleman sat smirking on the other side of the office is a highly qualified fire risk assessment specialist who previously worked for Factory Mutual Insurance and then for a large chemical company as a fire safety specialist, and then that I have over 25 years experience in fire and explosion hazards.

He departs in something of a sulk.
 
I was going to pop this in the Lidl/Aldi bargains thread, but thought it better here.
I may have heard a whispering in my ear as I was in Lidl on Saturday - and bought a UV torch. It is intended to be used to find where pets have pissed, but I thought it would be fun to see how bad things are around my apartment and if I need to clean a bit better.

So now the mat in the bathroom is in the bin, the kitchen and bathroom have both been utterly scrubbed, I only shampooed the carpet last month but I am thinking of doing it again and my skin feels like it is crawling.

Do not buy one of these things! I haven’t dared to use it in the bedroom yet!
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
You are on the way to a purple award, it’s people like your boss that also don’t change their cladding and other shit that ends up a perfect storm.

I should have stated that the site visit was not related to the current company, it was a care home.


Current issues are things like the plastic laminate on the kitchen cabinets has come away exposing the MDF beneath. Bare wood, dust hazard, food, can't be cleaned properly etc can't have it.

me " we have a couple of options - replace the doors, or remove the doors"
General idiot " can't replace them costs too much and we are having a refurbish soon. can't remove them as that'll look untidy"
 
My office office (the one that I rarely go into these days) has only one way in and out which is via a small vestibule. There is a total of 3 offices leading on the vestibule and we are on the ground floor of a one storey building.

Our office is council owned and they send a "fire assessor" around. He comes into our office and asks us what our emergency plan is in the event of fire.

'We will leave via the door and assemble at the assembly point in the car park'

What if the fire is in the vestibule?

I look at him with one of those looks: "I will put the chair through the window and I will follow the chair"

He waffles on about having escape equipment to smash the window until I gently point out that the gentleman sat smirking on the other side of the office is a highly qualified fire risk assessment specialist who previously worked for Factory Mutual Insurance and then for a large chemical company as a fire safety specialist, and then that I have over 25 years experience in fire and explosion hazards.

He departs in something of a sulk.
When I was situated at the parts depot, our office was in a single storey block. We had a fire drill and were all supposed to drop everything and file outside to the assigned areas in the car park, directly in front. I was on the phone and was just explaining to an annoyed dealer that I'd have to go and would call him back when the facilities guy walked through and told me to finish the call immediately and get out.
As he left the room., I finished the call, slid the window open, hopped out and met him in the car park, seconds later.
He looked at me and just said "Twat!"
 

NSP

LE
we are on the ground floor of a one storey building.
Is it possible to have a floor other than the ground floor in a single storey building (far east stilt houses notwithstanding)...?
 

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