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The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

One of those bridges might just have a higher twatting average than the low bridge near Rugby rail station.

Which I believe to be the most hit bridge in England.
Courtesy of Network Rail;

70BE9B6E-AB54-429B-987E-7F3F8C9C6BBC.jpeg
 
In the first lockdown I bought a pair of clippers rather than brave the barbers - normally I sport a fairly short haircut but rather than muck about I just shave it down to a one all over. They only cost £25, you set the length with a rotary dial and they are pretty good.

But the clippers go down to a 0.5 - and I use that to blend in my sideburns.

Of course I managed NOT to check the dial before giving it the once weekly all over on the Friday night. And did I start on the sides where I could perhaps blend it in - of course not. I gave it the full reverse mohawk.

And this is not the first time - at least this time my clippers juice didn’t run out halfway through the cut. At least I can’t go out anywhere...
 
why dont they put overhead warning boards with lights and sirens further back, or excavate the roadway
there is a bridge in South London that used to get whacked, about 200 metres away it has a set of optical beams, break them and red lights come on to stop the trucks, most times it works !!

If you read the introduction to the video it explains all the warnings already at the bridge...
 
And this morning I decided to outdo myself. I have just started a new job in a different branch of the CS, a lot higher profile, lots more responsibility and I am bricking it.
So since starting on Thursday I have been told by my new bosses to just get stuck into the documents and read up on my role - as Monday I go live. So this morning I get up at 07:30, quick shower, fire up the laptop and start reading. A quiet morning and I in deep, making tons of notes - thank god no emails at least so I am really in the groove.

About 10 my stomach starts to growl (since starting to work from home I tend to have a brunch about then rather than breakfast and lunch) so I emerge from my study (spare bedroom) to grab a bite to eat. And I note the cold pizza leftovers from when I cracked one up last night.

I usually only ever make pizza on a Friday or Saturday as a treat. And I decided on a pizza last night as I would have leftovers I could nibble on whilst being online with my RAF Reserve Squadron for their monthly meeting.
Today is Saturday - my CS job got a load of free work out of me (okay, no real harm as I need to read up more) and I have missed an online RSD day I said I would be there for. And I have to explain to them later.
FFS - and no purple smoke, just my stupidity and the Groundhog Day effect of the lockdown.
 
I’m not sure they can fix the terminally stupid...

I like the way they've installed a girder in front of the actual bridge to protect it. Hit the girder, trains unaffected.
 
I like the way they've installed a girder in front of the actual bridge to protect it. Hit the girder, trains unaffected.
Had to do the same round our way, like a big metal pipe. Buses still hit it.
 

Clunker

Old-Salt
why dont they put overhead warning boards with lights and sirens further back, or excavate the roadway
there is a bridge in South London that used to get whacked, about 200 metres away it has a set of optical beams, break them and red lights come on to stop the trucks, most times it works !!
That would just invite a better class of idiot. Driving tip trucks with the back up or cranes with raised jibs.
Just hammer the T**ts in court with huge fines and disqualifications.
 

2000AD

Old-Salt
The Watling Street one in Hinckley has overheight vehicle warnings well in advance on all local main approaches. I think the last bridge strike was done by a rather inebriated fellow from the east of europe. There has been a big metal bar across on both sides to preven actual bridge damage and the road was lowered, but I don't think they can excavate much lower.

There are more warehouses and distribution hubs being built around here now due to the ease of access to the motorway network; M69, M6, M42 are all within 10 to 15 minutes drive so I expect the A5 bridge to be hit even more frequently in the future
 
Courtesy of Network Rail;

View attachment 539876
Impressive numbers. Surprised Rugby doesn't feature - mainly 'cos it has some kinda truck magnet place just before it, with an awkward access gate that unfamiliar drivers often don't notice, so they overshoot, can't do a 3 point (access route to rail station/town centre, lots of traffic, very narrow), and resort to chancing their arm by ignoring the height restriction . . . .

It's a real doozy when it happens at rush hour.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
There's a bridge near to where I live that goes over the A205 (South Circular). A couple of days ago, waiting at the bus stop, a fat eastern European bowls up asking for directions to a nearby cash and carry which is just under the bridge. I pointed out on his phone where he needed to go and left him on his way. The bus pulled up and we passed him and his lorry just before the bridge. He had stopped when he realised that he couldn't get underneath, not a problem you may think, but he had a 40' trailer which was around a foot taller than the gap under the bridge on a road 3 lanes wide in total and nowhere to turn around. Apprently, plod stopped the traffic for an hour so he could reverse back to where he could find a place to turn around and find an alternative route where he wouldn't face any bridges.
 
I blame the bridges for being too low.

All vehicles are made to an agreed standard so you can't blame that.
 
There's a bridge near to where I live that goes over the A205 (South Circular). A couple of days ago, waiting at the bus stop, a fat eastern European bowls up asking for directions to a nearby cash and carry which is just under the bridge. I pointed out on his phone where he needed to go and left him on his way. The bus pulled up and we passed him and his lorry just before the bridge. He had stopped when he realised that he couldn't get underneath, not a problem you may think, but he had a 40' trailer which was around a foot taller than the gap under the bridge on a road 3 lanes wide in total and nowhere to turn around. Apprently, plod stopped the traffic for an hour so he could reverse back to where he could find a place to turn around and find an alternative route where he wouldn't face any bridges.
Deaf to the Emperor's helpful hints?

Where's the fun in that?!
 
My mate's skip enterprise started going from strength to strength, so much so he had to double his fleet and buy Owd Jimmy another truck.
New (to him) wagon had those new fangled telescopic arms....

Jimmy always wore a flat cap, after "just touching" the middle of the inside of a local railway bridge, his cap fitted an awful lot better.

You'd be surprised how difficult it is to unjam a twisted 'wheelied' skip wagon from a solid stone tunnel.
Modern German engineering has nowt on 1800's British stone masonry.
As an aside, Jimmy died a couple of years ago of lung cancer....
He reckoned it was from swallowing his 'roly' when he came to that sudden unexpected halt!
 

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