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The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

jmb3296

War Hero
Let’s go and see the Harry Potter steam train. No need to check the timetable, we all know when the steam train is coming through


If you listen carefully to the embedded video clip and understand the west coast dialect you will hear someone singing the praises of the emperor.

Brought my childhood horror of steam trains back

Daddy took me as a small boy, with my sisters and mum to see the Flying Scotsman as it passed Dalgety Bay. We went to stand next to the railway line at Donibristle ( just to the east of the current station) every viewing spot was taken. My dad took mum and my sisters and I , followed by another couple of families to a bridge over the railway line. My dad was such a hero to us kids and my mum for getting us the viewpoint.
We saw the train approach. It was exciting.
The train went under the bridge, we were encased in steam and coal smoke. I couldn’t see and could barely breathe for a moment or two till the steam and smoke cleared.
We looked like steamed rats, if they had then been covered in smuts, soot and grot.
My sisters were crying, my mum looked cross but worst of all was the laughter from the crowd.
We got back in the car and drove home in silence, apart from my sisters crying obviously.
I think my mum was very cross.
My dad was still a hero to me, because he kept quiet that it was actually my idea we stand on the bridge.
Thanks dad.
 

NSP

LE
Let’s go and see the Harry Potter steam train. No need to check the timetable, we all know when the steam train is coming through


If you listen carefully to the embedded video clip and understand the west coast dialect you will hear someone singing the praises of the emperor.
Jeez! PrivacyBadger and Ghostery each list forty-five trackers and harvesters on that page.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
received_4281837518556969.jpeg


As occurs every month or so, a ton of pellets are delivered for the biomass boiler.
Courier usually phones before hand and I arrange to be home to help.
Not this time.
If I am not around instructions are to leave in garage.

However, no phone call and arrived to find ton of pellets blocking said garage.

Thanks to His Eminence advised courier that in front of garage door was the same as in garage, I had to shift them twice. Once to open door and then to put them on the other side of the door.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
View attachment 509272

As occurs every month or so, a ton of pellets are delivered for the biomass boiler.
Courier usually phones before hand and I arrange to be home to help.
Not this time.
If I am not around instructions are to leave in garage.

However, no phone call and arrived to find ton of pellets blocking said garage.

Thanks to His Eminence advised courier that in front of garage door was the same as in garage, I had to shift them twice. Once to open door and then to put them on the other side of the door.
Good exercise for you! ;)
 
View attachment 509272

As occurs every month or so, a ton of pellets are delivered for the biomass boiler.
Courier usually phones before hand and I arrange to be home to help.
Not this time.
If I am not around instructions are to leave in garage.

However, no phone call and arrived to find ton of pellets blocking said garage.

Thanks to His Eminence advised courier that in front of garage door was the same as in garage, I had to shift them twice. Once to open door and then to put them on the other side of the door.
Your aura seems very receptive to the Emperor (PBUH), FF.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
View attachment 509272

As occurs every month or so, a ton of pellets are delivered for the biomass boiler.
Courier usually phones before hand and I arrange to be home to help.
Not this time.
If I am not around instructions are to leave in garage.

However, no phone call and arrived to find ton of pellets blocking said garage.

Thanks to His Eminence advised courier that in front of garage door was the same as in garage, I had to shift them twice. Once to open door and then to put them on the other side of the door.
Neatly stacked, though.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Delivering chocolate ? the emperor has been giving driving advice once again
of course 3500Kg is the payload, otherwise why should such a sum be so prominent on the data plate

another takes the advice
and loses
at least he wont go hungry while he waits for a second vehicle to split the load

Van carrying chocolate stopped on the M6 Sandbach. Driver thought that the 3500kg van was the amount of load it could carry. 41% overweight. Prohibited/ TOR issued
@NWmwaypolice

Image










Image
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Aaand another one
insurance a bit pricey on the old van mate, well listen here son, insure it as a little old motorbike, cheap as chips and wont be detected
mwaaaah


This van was seized by #RPUeast in Stockport town centre for not having any insurance. Well.... there was a policy but the owner had insured it as a vintage motorcycle which clearly it isn't!! #traffic #OpWolverine
1601729462932.png
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Delivering chocolate ? the emperor has been giving driving advice once again
of course 3500Kg is the payload, otherwise why should such a sum be so prominent on the data plate

another takes the advice
and loses
at least he wont go hungry while he waits for a second vehicle to split the load

Van carrying chocolate stopped on the M6 Sandbach. Driver thought that the 3500kg van was the amount of load it could carry. 41% overweight. Prohibited/ TOR issued
@NWmwaypolice

Image










Image


Was not a 3tonner called that for the same reason.
Before being upgraded to a 4 tonner.

And then we had 1/4, 1/2 and 1ton landrovers
 
Was not a 3tonner called that for the same reason.
Before being upgraded to a 4 tonner.

And then we had 1/4, 1/2 and 1ton landrovers
1/2 (SWB), 3/4 (LWB) and the new fangled, short lived (comparatively) one ton.
 
Delivering chocolate ? the emperor has been giving driving advice once again
of course 3500Kg is the payload, otherwise why should such a sum be so prominent on the data plate

another takes the advice
and loses
at least he wont go hungry while he waits for a second vehicle to split the load

Van carrying chocolate stopped on the M6 Sandbach. Driver thought that the 3500kg van was the amount of load it could carry. 41% overweight. Prohibited/ TOR issued
@NWmwaypolice

Image










Image

You can fit 3500 kg of chocolate in there?

I should cocoa...
 

Kirkz

LE
Aaand another one
insurance a bit pricey on the old van mate, well listen here son, insure it as a little old motorbike, cheap as chips and wont be detected
mwaaaah


This van was seized by #RPUeast in Stockport town centre for not having any insurance. Well.... there was a policy but the owner had insured it as a vintage motorcycle which clearly it isn't!! #traffic #OpWolverine
View attachment 509315
My old manager at one gaff was the same, not a fucking scooby what Gross Laden Weight meant.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
1/2 (SWB), 3/4 (LWB) and the new fangled, short lived (comparatively) one ton.

My apologies, was a lightweight also 1/2?

(I know it's a lightweight because you can strip the components off it to make it airmobile rather than load capacity)
 
My apologies, was a lightweight also 1/2?

(I know it's a lightweight because you can strip the components off it to make it airmobile rather than load capacity)
That's the baby, the small skinny one with the canvas tilt and the completely opaque PVC panel in the tilt so that you cannot see a thing behind you, that I passed my driving test in. B@stards!
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I introduced my boy to the emperor this afternoon.

We live a couple of miles from the Carlisle Settle train line. I occasionally check the timetables to see if there is a steam train going through and from time to time we go and plot up on a bridge and watch it go past.

I’m by no means a spotter, but everyone loves a steam train.

So today I see that the Scots Guardsman is coming through. The weather looks great, there is even a big rainbow over the Pennines. Perfect photo opportunity. Fuck it, I might even take the drone.

I decide to check out the viaduct at Ormside. I’ve never been there before but a quick look on Google maps shows a footpath reasonably close. I should be able to park up, walk along the footpath and get a great drone shot of it going over the viaduct.

So me and the boy (aged 9) load up. I big it up a bit in the car, trying to get him a bit excited that we’re going to see a steam train like the one off Harry Potter.

We get to the village with over 40 minutes to find our vantage point and a safe place to launch the drone.

We find the footpath and follow it.

We pass under the tracks and come to a field. It is seriously muddy but fuck it, it’s all part of the adventure. The path eventually leads us into some woods. It’s really muddy now, we’re slipping and sliding all over the place. The boy is absolutely caked in mud. He’s been on his arse a few times.

It’ll be worth it though, when we get to the other side of the woods there should be a spectacular view of the viaduct, with the Pennines and the rainbow in the background.

We’ve still got a good 10 minutes to go before the train is due.

We keep following the path. It jinks left.

Left is not where we want to be, we need to go right.

I consider going off piste but these woods are thick and there is a sharp drop into a river if you stray off the path. It’s not physically possible to go right anyway, you’ll just hit the river.

A bit of panic sets in. I realise we’ve come too far to go back. It’s well over 10 mins to the nearest spot that you can actually see the track.

We push on, hoping that we’ll soon emerge from the woods and be able to see the viaduct, albeit a bit further away than we’d hoped.

We have 3 minutes until the train is due to go over the viaduct. We’re both absolutely covered in mud now. We’ve both been on our arses four or five times.

I hear the train in the distance pulling out of Appleby station.

There is no way we’re gonna see it.

I get the drone up, taking off as quickly as possible, I fuck off all the usual precautions like calibrating the compass.

I get it airborne just in time to get a small glimpse on my phone screen of a load of steam fucking off in to the distance.

And then we walk 40 minutes back to the car, slipping in more mud and shit along the way.

A great day out.
 

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