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The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
Long before Corona my youngest boy, who enjoys watching splodey things on YouTube asked me to purchase some households supplies as he wanted to do some "experiments", among the requested items, including aluminium foil, caustic soda, Bic lighters, 9v batteries and Brillo pads, was hand sanitiser, in my innocence I purchased them all.

Later I was passing him and his sister on the patio looking at a big blob of gel sitting on the ground, asking them what they were doing, he said the gel was burning, which it clearly wasn't as I couldn't see any flames, I said "No it isn't look, I can touch it...OW JESUS FECKING CHRIST!!"

Three of my fingers were bandaged for a week. My one consolation being that if one of us had to be the fuckwit, better it was me rather than any of the kids.

Introduce him to custard powder. You know it's a good idea!
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
I would like to claim compensation for an incident in 1988 in Capel Curig involving climbing up into the roof beams, singing a song and a sharp sticky out nail on the descent.

To be fair, the RSM had found me guilty of "being a Jock"

IIRC other crimes that evening were "being Cornish", "being from the North" etc, etc.
New RSM, JC (an Irish Cockney), "Theres only one thing wrong with 15th/19th The King's Royal Hussars. Too many fackin Jawdees." As a mackem, I agreed.
 
‘Two cans per man as per the rules’. 2 cans of warm lager and you decide to run through the pit of doom? No breaching of the 2 can rule at that smoker, no siree.
Apparently he had already run through twice before the attempt that went wrong.
 
The Lord Of Chaos: "Ahoy there, my nautical nitwits. You're last outing two weeks ago culminated in the biggest maritime search the state has ever performed. Now that everything has quietened down, why not try and salvage the rest of your trip?"

 
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The Lord Of Chaos: "Ahoy there, my nautical nitwits. You're last outing two weeks ago culminated in the biggest maritime search the state has ever performed. Now that everything has quietened down, why not try and salvage the rest of your trip?"


Ah, the old classic "trying to sail the Atlantic in a bathtub, repeatedly rescued by lifeboat three hundred yards outside the harbour entrance"? I have the impression those aren't as common in the UK as they used to be
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
The Lord Of Chaos: "Ahoy there, my nautical nitwits. You're last outing two weeks ago culminated in the biggest maritime search the state has ever performed. Now that everything has quietened down, why not try and salvage the rest of your trip?"

it looks like a real heap
 

anglo

LE
EM looking over a man's shoulder in Lebanon,
" It's the red wire, cut the red, the red"

Lebanon is hit by ANOTHER explosion: Hezbollah arms depot destroyed after massive blast caused by 'technical error' weeks after Beirut disaster

 

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