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The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements

I remember helping Sxxxx Mxxxxx making and colouring Red Cross armbands for himself at Dental Centre Sennelager.
We did not take the piss as we did so.
Much.

I have some cracking photos of Sxxxx Mxxxxx in a box in the attic, not the same as the boring shite that went in the corpse museum. All illicit, incriminating, if not downright illegal, and all bust a gut laughing funny.

I would love to post some, but he would hunt me down and kill me, in his immortal words, "like the scunnering wee shite that ye are".

I'll just leave it with this... Y-Fronts... :-D

JB
 
There are other absolute crackers available online as well


In a similar vein, a few years back we had some Trust Fund Tommy here in Sydney park an expensive sports car (may have a Lamborghini, need ) in a construction zone driveway only to see the car destroyed when it 'accidentally' got flipped on its roof by the forklift driver trying to move it out of the way.

The worst part is that it wasn't his car, it was his dads car. He had to explain it to his dad after he had arrived back from overseas.

Love clips like that. Always brightens my day... :)
 
The Emperor (PBUH) has been whispering in my BiL's ear for some months now:

EM: Deny the plague, say it's all a plot by the elite to control the workers.
BiL: Indeed, your Excellency. Family, don't worry about this plague, it's nothing to worry about, go about your daily business.
EM: And while you're at it, as soon as they allow it go back to the pubs, get in there, my son, for though art invincible. Oh, and get out to campsites in your campervan with all your mates, make up for the months the illuminati had you locked away.
BiL: Excellent idea, I shall get out as much as I can.
CTD: But, BiL, weren't you diagnosed with Sarcoidosis last year?
BiL: Well yes, but the plague is all made up.
CTD: But you're 71, isn't that the high risk age group.
BiL: It's nothing to worry about.
CTD: I do hope you're going to be wearing a mask and keeping your distance.
BiL: Don't be daft, those masks do nothing, I read about them on Facebook.
CTD: Okayyyyy.

This morning:
BiL: Ummm, I've just called for an ambulance, I'm struggling to breathe.
CTD: How long have you been like this.
BiL: About a week, but I couldn't get a test.....
 
It'll be fine Minion, just pop your Glock down on that seat while you escort Dom off the plane.

Dominic Raab's bodyguard 'left gun on plane'
Didn't this happen a
The Emperor (PBUH) has been whispering in my BiL's ear for some months now:

EM: Deny the plague, say it's all a plot by the elite to control the workers.
BiL: Indeed, your Excellency. Family, don't worry about this plague, it's nothing to worry about, go about your daily business.
EM: And while you're at it, as soon as they allow it go back to the pubs, get in there, my son, for though art invincible. Oh, and get out to campsites in your campervan with all your mates, make up for the months the illuminati had you locked away.
BiL: Excellent idea, I shall get out as much as I can.
CTD: But, BiL, weren't you diagnosed with Sarcoidosis last year?
BiL: Well yes, but the plague is all made up.
CTD: But you're 71, isn't that the high risk age group.
BiL: It's nothing to worry about.
CTD: I do hope you're going to be wearing a mask and keeping your distance.
BiL: Don't be daft, those masks do nothing, I read about them on Facebook.
CTD: Okayyyyy.

This morning:
BiL: Ummm, I've just called for an ambulance, I'm struggling to breathe.
CTD: How long have you been like this.
BiL: About a week, but I couldn't get a test.....
71 and weekending in a campervan! Had he not heard of pensions? ;-)
 

Blogg

LE
Old girl a few houses away popped her clogs some time ago and property now owned by a keen pair of 30 somethings who decided to escape London.

That's as in keen but only modest DIY skills. And they have bought a house in need of significant TLC. Garden is terrible, a total overgrown mess

The Purple One appears:

"No need to get expensive tradespersons in to sort that. All on YouTube!"

And TBF they have made good progress, but still lots to do

Was out earlier this afternoon but Mrs B was treated to much distant shouting and hollering followed by female shriek and the sort of crashing sound you might expect if you and your brother in law had just managed to drop the bulk of a diseased apple tree onto a crappy conservatory.
 
Old girl a few houses away popped her clogs some time ago and property now owned by a keen pair of 30 somethings who decided to escape London.

That's as in keen but only modest DIY skills. And they have bought a house in need of significant TLC. Garden is terrible, a total overgrown mess

The Purple One appears:

"No need to get expensive tradespersons in to sort that. All on YouTube!"

And TBF they have made good progress, but still lots to do

Was out earlier this afternoon but Mrs B was treated to much distant shouting and hollering followed by female shriek and the sort of crashing sound you might expect if you and your brother in law had just managed to drop the bulk of a diseased apple tree onto a crappy conservatory.

Is one of them called Ms Bane?
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
I have some cracking photos of Sxxxx Mxxxxx in a box in the attic, not the same as the boring shite that went in the corpse museum. All illicit, incriminating, if not downright illegal, and all bust a gut laughing funny.

I would love to post some, but he would hunt me down and kill me, in his immortal words, "like the scunnering wee shite that ye are".

I'll just leave it with this... Y-Fronts... :-D

JB


You were flossy?

1600534621780.png
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Couldn't possibly comment....:-D

Venty knows my guilty secret, he knows who was in that hole in the ground with Sxxxx Mxxxxx. In fact he was quite the diplomat, he smoothed over many of the ructions the hole dwellers caused with the RD grown ups...:smile:

JB
I was thinking it was S***** M****** you were talking about until

A. I counted the letters
B. You quoted him and made him appear Scottish, S***** was a non Caucasian gentleman with a black soft top BMW and referred to women as "my bitches" until one of them overheard him. Yet didn't like stereotypes.
He was also caught sleeping in his car on the range road. Turns out he did it often to make it look like he'd pulled...
 
I was thinking it was S***** M****** you were talking about until

A. I counted the letters
B. You quoted him and made him appear Scottish, S***** was a non Caucasian gentleman with a black soft top BMW and referred to women as "my bitches" until one of them overheard him. Yet didn't like stereotypes.
He was also caught sleeping in his car on the range road. Turns out he did it often to make it look like he'd pulled...

No, the guy I was in the hole in the ground with was definitely of the Jockinese persuasion, I think I know who you are thinking of, but he was a Sgt and was hobnobing in the mess tent, I can see his face but can't recall his name for the life of me, brane fade, well it was 30 years ago....

ETA Rxxxxx Jxxx was the guy I was thinking of, brane unfaded...

JB
 
Last edited:

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
No, the guy I was in the hole in the ground with was definitely of the Jockinese persuasion, I think I know who you are thinking of, but he was a Sgt and was hobnobing in the mess tent, I can see his face but can't recall his name for the life of me, brane fade, well it was 30 years ago....

ETA Rxxxxx Jxxx was the guy I was thinking of, brand unfaded...

JB


The not white Sgt was "Mellow" J******. Appeared to be immune to CS , got his respirator on sideways at vogelsang but carried on taking the session.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I was thinking it was S***** M****** you were talking about until

A. I counted the letters
B. You quoted him and made him appear Scottish, S***** was a non Caucasian gentleman with a black soft top BMW and referred to women as "my bitches" until one of them overheard him. Yet didn't like stereotypes.
He was also caught sleeping in his car on the range road. Turns out he did it often to make it look like he'd pulled...

S**** M***** was the Cpl RADC attached to 3AFA who deployed on Granby from Dental Centre Sennelager.

He was whiter than milk in true Scottish fashion.

Think his promotion to Sgt came through when he was out there.
 

aardvark64

War Hero
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